Can believing that God is angry with you cause you to develop an inferiority complex?
How free must we be in order to achieve the potential within us?
Most of us would agree that there is immeasurable potential inside of each person. I suppose if you are named amongst today's Christians, you also might believe that there are certain things that will cause God to either turn toward you or away from you, in anger. If you attend a Catholic, or Protestant church in America (evangelical included), doubtless you have heard that you have the ability to disappoint or please God, based on your actions.
"Staying celibate so long as you are unmarried would please God."
"Gossiping about others disappoints (angers?) God".
"Drinking alcohol and going to bars does not honor God; thus, it can only disappoint Him."
"Giving ten percent or more of your earnings to the church will please your heavenly father".
It sounds to me as if God is a puppet, and we hold the strings that control His emotional well-being. With so many billions of us throughout the ages, each of us pulling a different emotional string simultaneously, and repeatedly, God must have the largest prescription for Paxil or Xanax in the Universe.
Or....
God is complete already without us (something you might be surprised to find is ALSO taught amongst Christian sects in America). In other words, we do not complete His emotional well-being. I believe it is the contradiction between the two teachings that leaves us and our children most confused about what or who God is.
If God cannot control His emotions; if He is bound by our actions to feel one way or another, then He is not complete. On the other hand, if He is complete, then all this teaching about "what pleases God" and "what doesn't please God" is just a bunch of garbage we would be better to burn.
Is God so minimal as to be held bound by our fickle attentions and actions? If He is, then He isn't all powerful.
But the message of the gospel tells us a far different story. It tells us of a God who, despite our worst actions and thoughts, has granted an olive branch to cover us; ALL OF US. It tells of a Father who is so secure in Himself that nothing we do could ever change His love for us; not even believing or disbelieving.
God has nothing to worry about; He is complete in Himself, and that is one teaching we might do better to understand more fully. But if we understand that teaching more fully, we had better watch out, because when we get it, we might also understand that the idea of a person needing to believe in order to be redeemed to the Father is ludicrous.
Remember, Father needs nothing from us. What measure of belief are you going to offer up to Him that will change the way He sees you? If He, as common Christian practice preaches, is angry with you, and views you as damned, what measure of belief, or what other action will ever change His mind about you?
Only a God who is emotionally controlled by people will ever be affected by the confession, "I believe in Jesus!" An all-powerfull God is already complete, He needs no such confession from you. In fact, He already knew that you could never believe enough to affect what He thought about you, so He sent His son, the physical image of Himself, to be the faith we could not muster on our own, and to bear the penalty the world believes is due us.
What manner of heights will you reach with the freedom that comes from knowing God is not angered with you? What mountain will you climb now because you understand that failure isn't the end; but merely another reason to begin again?
We often sabotage our own success, and I am coming to believe that we do so because for too long, we have been held bound by the idea that every time we do something "wrong", God is angry with us again. We became slaves to failure because we have been taught, and come to believe, that God sees only the failure within us as being worthy of any lasting emotion. Sure, maybe we please Him every so often, but for the most part, He stands with hands on hips, clucking his tongue at us, and shaking His almighty, Holy head in anger.
What a bunch of nonsense. If God is all-powerful, and all-knowing, then neither is He surprised when we succeed, nor is He displeased when we fail. To be anything else would make God our hostage; one whose emotional well-being hinged completely on our actions.
Does that sound like Good news to you?
8/08/2006
8/06/2006
THE GREETING CARD GRANDPA
I have never been one to fuss over birthdays, especially my own. Neither have I stood on ceremony when it came to anniversaries, holidays, Religious days, or National days. It has been a struggle all of my adult life to try and understand why other people are different from the way I am in that regard. I do my best to leave people to celebrate in their own way, even if that means that maybe I think they overdo it sometimes.
I wish I was given the same respect. But as I mellow with my age, I can even begin to tolerate and understand why people aren't willing to let me be nonchalant about bithdays and other notable dates. But, when it comes to my family, I can sincerely say that for the most part, they allow me to be unenthusiastic for holidays and birthdays. Maybe some would say something out of earshot, but I have never heard anyone complain to me about the "lazy approach" I take to someone else's birthday. I am completely hit or miss when it comes to remembering these dates, even though my mom filled a small calander book for me, complete with every relatives' birthday, including all of the little people we call nephews and nieces. (They truly are so cute!)
I have come to the conclusion that it is hopeless for me to change whatever it is that causes me to miss these important dates. Furthermore, even when I remember, I almost always forget to send a card. Along those lines, I would encourage everyone who knows me to forget to send me a birthday card every year...it wouldn't be missed...I wouldn't even know who had forgotten, and might not even remember it was my birthday. But I know; not everyone is like that, and sometimes I wonder if I am really offending people seriously by by being so careless about their days.
I hope they aren't offended, because I surely do not want anyone to be offended, especially not on account of me. But I am also sort of hoping (wishing, really) that my lack of a birthday greeting or anniversary greeting isn't even missed. There were six children in my family...it is possible. There's a lot to remember when it comes to special events and days with that many people, and I tip my hat to those who pull it off; I truly do.
Yet deep inside, in the honest place, I realize I am not all that fussed about being this way. Is that selfishness? Or is it just the way I am?
I have never been one to dwell on these days. I also have never been one to make much of the past. History, although interesting and intriguing, doesn't seem all that important to me either. I can't even tell you when John F. Kennedy got shot, and someday, I'll probably forget September Eleventh as well. Dates and numbers denoting certain things just don't mean all that much to me. Christmas and Easter seem more like Monday and Tuesday to me than a holiday to celebrate.
What is far more important to me is the people who were affected by those dates and numbers. You could cuss me out for forgetting to send you a birthday card, and I'd be far more concerned about how you are today than how you were on the day I forgot to send you a card. Even my own birthday mostly goes forgotten, save for my family who all send cards. I can't remember the last time anyone came to visit me on my birthday, except maybe the Lachappelles (good friends who have been mentioned here numerous times). The truth of it is, it doesn't bother me that no one visits; in fact, I am kind of uncomfortable with the day and the idea that someone would go out of their way to visit me. Why visit me that day, but none other?
Why call me or send me a card to let me know you are thinking about me on that day, but on none other?. Why can't I send you an email every so often, or call you to let you know you are on my mind? Why is a birthday card more important than a greeting on a day you didn't expect anything?
Do you see why I find it difficult to understand the whole special day thing? I am the first to admit I try to make my daughter's birthday special, but then again, I try to make every day special if it is within my ability to do it. My daughter knows how much I fail at that, but I still try. When her birthday comes around, I don't want to feel like a hypocrite. Every day is a living day, not just her birthday.
But there are two ways to look at this, and my way is only one way. Others might say, "Can't you just do something special for them one day? Is it that hard"
I was about to say I wish I was different, but that would have been a lie. I don't wish I was different. I wish I was better at making every day special for people; but anyone who knows me also knows I have a lot to learn in order to pull that off. I guess I just don't get the special day thing, and although I know I'll make attempts to remember, I'll still forget someone, and I'll be left hoping they weren't offended because I did.
I do not stand on ceremony, and the past is the past. I have lived a life that could be filled with regret, if I could just remember what it is I am supposed to regret. I cannot honestly say I regret not sending more greeting cards.
My only hope in all of this regard is that I do not create a regret in someone else's life. I do sincerely wish that the greeting card industry had never been born, but now that it is a grandpa already, I can only hope it dies quickly. I say that, because I know I'll never be the one to remember to keep the greeting card grandpa alive by faithfully sending cards on every birthday and holiday. If the greeting card grandpa is left in my care, he will starve to death.
I wish I was given the same respect. But as I mellow with my age, I can even begin to tolerate and understand why people aren't willing to let me be nonchalant about bithdays and other notable dates. But, when it comes to my family, I can sincerely say that for the most part, they allow me to be unenthusiastic for holidays and birthdays. Maybe some would say something out of earshot, but I have never heard anyone complain to me about the "lazy approach" I take to someone else's birthday. I am completely hit or miss when it comes to remembering these dates, even though my mom filled a small calander book for me, complete with every relatives' birthday, including all of the little people we call nephews and nieces. (They truly are so cute!)
I have come to the conclusion that it is hopeless for me to change whatever it is that causes me to miss these important dates. Furthermore, even when I remember, I almost always forget to send a card. Along those lines, I would encourage everyone who knows me to forget to send me a birthday card every year...it wouldn't be missed...I wouldn't even know who had forgotten, and might not even remember it was my birthday. But I know; not everyone is like that, and sometimes I wonder if I am really offending people seriously by by being so careless about their days.
I hope they aren't offended, because I surely do not want anyone to be offended, especially not on account of me. But I am also sort of hoping (wishing, really) that my lack of a birthday greeting or anniversary greeting isn't even missed. There were six children in my family...it is possible. There's a lot to remember when it comes to special events and days with that many people, and I tip my hat to those who pull it off; I truly do.
Yet deep inside, in the honest place, I realize I am not all that fussed about being this way. Is that selfishness? Or is it just the way I am?
I have never been one to dwell on these days. I also have never been one to make much of the past. History, although interesting and intriguing, doesn't seem all that important to me either. I can't even tell you when John F. Kennedy got shot, and someday, I'll probably forget September Eleventh as well. Dates and numbers denoting certain things just don't mean all that much to me. Christmas and Easter seem more like Monday and Tuesday to me than a holiday to celebrate.
What is far more important to me is the people who were affected by those dates and numbers. You could cuss me out for forgetting to send you a birthday card, and I'd be far more concerned about how you are today than how you were on the day I forgot to send you a card. Even my own birthday mostly goes forgotten, save for my family who all send cards. I can't remember the last time anyone came to visit me on my birthday, except maybe the Lachappelles (good friends who have been mentioned here numerous times). The truth of it is, it doesn't bother me that no one visits; in fact, I am kind of uncomfortable with the day and the idea that someone would go out of their way to visit me. Why visit me that day, but none other?
Why call me or send me a card to let me know you are thinking about me on that day, but on none other?. Why can't I send you an email every so often, or call you to let you know you are on my mind? Why is a birthday card more important than a greeting on a day you didn't expect anything?
Do you see why I find it difficult to understand the whole special day thing? I am the first to admit I try to make my daughter's birthday special, but then again, I try to make every day special if it is within my ability to do it. My daughter knows how much I fail at that, but I still try. When her birthday comes around, I don't want to feel like a hypocrite. Every day is a living day, not just her birthday.
But there are two ways to look at this, and my way is only one way. Others might say, "Can't you just do something special for them one day? Is it that hard"
I was about to say I wish I was different, but that would have been a lie. I don't wish I was different. I wish I was better at making every day special for people; but anyone who knows me also knows I have a lot to learn in order to pull that off. I guess I just don't get the special day thing, and although I know I'll make attempts to remember, I'll still forget someone, and I'll be left hoping they weren't offended because I did.
I do not stand on ceremony, and the past is the past. I have lived a life that could be filled with regret, if I could just remember what it is I am supposed to regret. I cannot honestly say I regret not sending more greeting cards.
My only hope in all of this regard is that I do not create a regret in someone else's life. I do sincerely wish that the greeting card industry had never been born, but now that it is a grandpa already, I can only hope it dies quickly. I say that, because I know I'll never be the one to remember to keep the greeting card grandpa alive by faithfully sending cards on every birthday and holiday. If the greeting card grandpa is left in my care, he will starve to death.
7/28/2006
EXXON HURTING EVEN MORE THIS QUARTER
Exxon posted a ten biliion dollar profit last quarter. Let's all say a quick prayer for them as they struggle to come to grips with this most recent setback. Rumors have it they were expecting profits to be in the fourteen to sixteen billion dollar range. As a good spin doctor, I can safely say that Exxon is experiencing a shortfall of between four and six billion dollars, despite their ten billion dollar profit level. I know how I feel when I don't have four to six billion extra dollars in my pocket, so I can feel their pain.
In case you are one of those who are angered by this most recent trend of high gas and oil prices and even higher oil company profits, here's what you can do to "stick it to the MAN", if that's your thing.
1. Do not, under any circumstances, buy higher grade gasoline unless your car's manufacturer explicity instructs you to do so. It is a myth that higher grade gasoline produces higher gas mileage, and protects and cleans your engine better than normal grade. Don't believe me? Check out this link for yourself. The truth is, higher grade gasoline DOES NOT improve fuel economy one iota.
2. Change your oil every six thousand miles or seventy-five hundred miles, whichever your car's manufacturer recommends. In extreme cases, some vehicles will require oil changes every three thousand miles, but these cases are for EXTREME use (as in dust, sand , etc) and certain specific vehicles within certain specific manufacturer's auto lines. By far, those vehicles are the exception , not the rule. Six thousand miles is a good, safe expectancy for the visocsity of your engine oil to be maintained. Today's oils are mostly detergent oils, which mean they clean your engine for you, suspend the dirt in the oil (making it impossible for the dirt to get into sensitive areas such as near zero tolerance bearings and such) or deposit it quickly into your oil filter.
Here is one major important fact for you to learn. Changing your oil more frequently than every six thousand miles will not protect your car's engine better, nor will it keep your engine cleaner. ( it also won't earn you brownie points with your car's manufacturer) Simply put, if you change your oil every three thousand miles, you are throwing your money into the garbage every other oil change, or more implicitly, you are increasing the oil company's profit FOR them.
Here is a link to provide you with even more information about your car's oil.
I suppose I could also add that driving less and car pooling will reduce the amount of money you spend at the gas pump, but you already know that. How smart are we if we aren't already doing it? Americans especially, we should know better than to complain about high gas prices if we aren't willing to change the way we do things. Literally, if we aren't doing the small things we can do to reduce our dependancy on oil, we have no right to complain about high oil prices.
Good day.
In case you are one of those who are angered by this most recent trend of high gas and oil prices and even higher oil company profits, here's what you can do to "stick it to the MAN", if that's your thing.
1. Do not, under any circumstances, buy higher grade gasoline unless your car's manufacturer explicity instructs you to do so. It is a myth that higher grade gasoline produces higher gas mileage, and protects and cleans your engine better than normal grade. Don't believe me? Check out this link for yourself. The truth is, higher grade gasoline DOES NOT improve fuel economy one iota.
2. Change your oil every six thousand miles or seventy-five hundred miles, whichever your car's manufacturer recommends. In extreme cases, some vehicles will require oil changes every three thousand miles, but these cases are for EXTREME use (as in dust, sand , etc) and certain specific vehicles within certain specific manufacturer's auto lines. By far, those vehicles are the exception , not the rule. Six thousand miles is a good, safe expectancy for the visocsity of your engine oil to be maintained. Today's oils are mostly detergent oils, which mean they clean your engine for you, suspend the dirt in the oil (making it impossible for the dirt to get into sensitive areas such as near zero tolerance bearings and such) or deposit it quickly into your oil filter.
Here is one major important fact for you to learn. Changing your oil more frequently than every six thousand miles will not protect your car's engine better, nor will it keep your engine cleaner. ( it also won't earn you brownie points with your car's manufacturer) Simply put, if you change your oil every three thousand miles, you are throwing your money into the garbage every other oil change, or more implicitly, you are increasing the oil company's profit FOR them.
Here is a link to provide you with even more information about your car's oil.
I suppose I could also add that driving less and car pooling will reduce the amount of money you spend at the gas pump, but you already know that. How smart are we if we aren't already doing it? Americans especially, we should know better than to complain about high gas prices if we aren't willing to change the way we do things. Literally, if we aren't doing the small things we can do to reduce our dependancy on oil, we have no right to complain about high oil prices.
Good day.
7/26/2006
BRIEF UPDATE.
No real time to blog this week, yet, except to say that for the fews times I've actually been on my computer, I have been enjoying a new 19" LCD widescreen monitor, and better yet, a Kensington Expert Optical trackball mouse. The mouse ball is almost frictionless. If you have wrist problems (which I don't; I'm just used to trackballs) than the Expert Mouse might help you.
Anyway, God loves each and every one of you, and I hope you are doing exactly what He created you for; to enjoy life and this beautiful world He has created.
Anyway, God loves each and every one of you, and I hope you are doing exactly what He created you for; to enjoy life and this beautiful world He has created.
7/19/2006
MIND INNUNDATED
I have been watching CNN during lunch these past days, and which each new reiteration of the battle between Lebanon and Israel, I cringe inwardly at what it all means, and what it all could lead to. During his evening show, Glenn Beck of CNN claims, barely seriously, that we are now, all of us, living through world war three. While I do not agree that things have come to that point, I do see that they could arrive given a few more "localized" battles and incidents.
I feel powerless to do anything about it all. My heart hurts for the deaths of people I have heard about, but never known. I cannot understand all of the happenings, my mind is overwhelmed with "too much". Some around me, and others within this country can be heard saying, "good, let them kill each other". To which I say silently, if they are our brothers, which ones are okay to kill? All of them? All of us? Will it still be "good" when the battle comes back to our shores, as it must at some point?
Is there anything we can do about this to help, we as individuals living in supposedly the most powerful nation on this planet? Does anyone know? If so, please let me know.
I feel powerless to do anything about it all. My heart hurts for the deaths of people I have heard about, but never known. I cannot understand all of the happenings, my mind is overwhelmed with "too much". Some around me, and others within this country can be heard saying, "good, let them kill each other". To which I say silently, if they are our brothers, which ones are okay to kill? All of them? All of us? Will it still be "good" when the battle comes back to our shores, as it must at some point?
Is there anything we can do about this to help, we as individuals living in supposedly the most powerful nation on this planet? Does anyone know? If so, please let me know.
7/16/2006
A MOMENT WITH HEIDI
I shared a moment with Heidi on Friday evening. In actuality, I have had several very short conversations with her and her friends in the last couple of weeks, but Friday, it was simply one of those moments you enjoy for what it is.
I didn't say a word to her from across the patio. ( we were outside at the time) I just happened to be looking at something, and then a thought crossed my mind which I felt was rather comical (having to do with a 'gaggle' of women). As I turned away from what I was looking at, there was Heidi looking right at me. We made eye contact, and I decided not to break it. She might have decided to do the same, because she smiled at first, then laughed a little, and asked over the noise, "What?" with this big Heidi-like smile on her face.
I said, "nothing", but I couldn't help laughing along, as I thought about what my previous stream of consciousness had been. So, I looked back at what I had been looking at before I saw Heidi, and then looked back at her. She was looking directly at me again, our eyes locked, and she asked, "What?", still smiling, although seeming to blush a bit now. I repeated what I had I said in response the first time, and we held the eye contact for a few more moments, laughing gently, until her friend grabbed her attention away from the moment.
Not much to talk about if you weren't involved in the moment, but times like that make me feel alive and full of spirit. She's still seeing her boyfriend, and I am still being a distant admirer of beauty, and above all, polite. I can't help but feel that there's something there, but at the same time, really, there's nothing there, because she's not available. So, I stand back, and in honesty, I hope the very best for her, whatever that may be.
Moments like that are a huge part of this thing called life, and all I want to do is enjoy them as fully as possible. It makes the moment better when it's shared with someone like like Heidi.
I didn't say a word to her from across the patio. ( we were outside at the time) I just happened to be looking at something, and then a thought crossed my mind which I felt was rather comical (having to do with a 'gaggle' of women). As I turned away from what I was looking at, there was Heidi looking right at me. We made eye contact, and I decided not to break it. She might have decided to do the same, because she smiled at first, then laughed a little, and asked over the noise, "What?" with this big Heidi-like smile on her face.
I said, "nothing", but I couldn't help laughing along, as I thought about what my previous stream of consciousness had been. So, I looked back at what I had been looking at before I saw Heidi, and then looked back at her. She was looking directly at me again, our eyes locked, and she asked, "What?", still smiling, although seeming to blush a bit now. I repeated what I had I said in response the first time, and we held the eye contact for a few more moments, laughing gently, until her friend grabbed her attention away from the moment.
Not much to talk about if you weren't involved in the moment, but times like that make me feel alive and full of spirit. She's still seeing her boyfriend, and I am still being a distant admirer of beauty, and above all, polite. I can't help but feel that there's something there, but at the same time, really, there's nothing there, because she's not available. So, I stand back, and in honesty, I hope the very best for her, whatever that may be.
Moments like that are a huge part of this thing called life, and all I want to do is enjoy them as fully as possible. It makes the moment better when it's shared with someone like like Heidi.
7/12/2006
WHITE CROW
I have seen a white crow for three days running now. I see him/her outside at the project I am working on, hanging out with three other black crows. Can anyone tell me how rare white crows are? I have been searching on google, but all I seem to find is statements claiming that white crows don't exist. I can plainly say that they do.
7/11/2006
REFLECTIONS
There are over 6.5 billion people living on this planet right now. Can you imagine seeing all of those people at once? I can't What an astounding figure!
Can you project your own thoughts and emotions onto someone else? In other words, can you place yourself in their shoes? In the few years I have lived, one of the things I have learned about me is that I am an arrogant, rude bastard if I do not make the attempt to understand things from someone else's perspective. Compassion doesn't come naturally to me; nor does grace for others. I guess that's why I have learned so much about the psychology of the human mind. If I hadn't, how many more people might I have injured through simple thoughtlessness? Would I have done it 6.5 billion times?
Only self-reflection allows me to remember to pursue perspective, specifically the perspective of my neighbor. If I didn't reflect inward, I might never remember to remember my neighbor.
God!, I need grace more than the normal human being. That, too, I only know because of the mirror inside of my mind which causes me to reflect. And I am happy to say that my reflection, although still looking pretty much the same, no longer scares me. Yet another thing I wouldn't know if I didn't actually look.
Can you project your own thoughts and emotions onto someone else? In other words, can you place yourself in their shoes? In the few years I have lived, one of the things I have learned about me is that I am an arrogant, rude bastard if I do not make the attempt to understand things from someone else's perspective. Compassion doesn't come naturally to me; nor does grace for others. I guess that's why I have learned so much about the psychology of the human mind. If I hadn't, how many more people might I have injured through simple thoughtlessness? Would I have done it 6.5 billion times?
Only self-reflection allows me to remember to pursue perspective, specifically the perspective of my neighbor. If I didn't reflect inward, I might never remember to remember my neighbor.
God!, I need grace more than the normal human being. That, too, I only know because of the mirror inside of my mind which causes me to reflect. And I am happy to say that my reflection, although still looking pretty much the same, no longer scares me. Yet another thing I wouldn't know if I didn't actually look.
7/10/2006
TO ALLY, WITH ALL OF MY LOVE
My Ally, my baby. I know well you are not a baby any longer, being fourteen and going on twenty. You are in such a hurry to grow up, and I'll try my best not to stand in the way.
When I talk with you, I am honored deeply inside that you still call me Daddy, and still want to talk with me at all. I know Fathers aren't exactly cool any more; I was a teenage boy once. You honor me far more than I ever honored my own dad, and try as I might, I can't make up the time I lost with him when I was your age and older. Now it seems like I can talk with him so much easier, and maybe that's because I no longer feel like I have to prove myself to him.
And that's what this is all about, Ally. You don't ever have to do anything to prove yourself to me, either. I loved you before you were even born. I used to talk to you through your mom's belly button, and you would move almost every time I did. Now I am talking to you through something else, and I am hoping you will be moved again. You see, I love you.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and saying that seems so small, because, really, I can't compare how much I love you to anyone else. The difference cannot be described. If the difference were the distance between the earth and the moon, then that would still not be far enough to go to show you how much I love you. I can't explain it, Ally; I just can't.
You will never have to do anything, good or bad, for me to love you. I just love you. I just do. That love is real before anything else happens, before you ever do a single thing.
Yes, you are a good girl; or shall I say, an excellent young lady? You are far above me when I was your age. All of the things you have accomplished do make me so very proud; I admit it. But still, I loved you long before you ever accomplished anything.
So that's what I wanted to tell you, and I know you visit this page before you get to the other pages you visit on the web. I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to move you in your heart, and let you know that you are loved by me. I never realized what loving a child was like for a father until there was you. Now I am totally amazed that there can be so much love felt by a single heart. And that's the other thing I wanted you to know. Maybe you feel loved, maybe a little more right now than you did a moment before you read this, but the love in my heart for you makes me feel more wonderful than anything has ever made me feel. Loving you has been the greatest experience of my life. I never knew how wonderful love could feel, until there was you.
Thank you for being my daughter, my little girl, the one who is always growing up, but still gives her daddy hugs whenever he asks. Thank you. Someday, I hope you'll know what this love inside of me feels like for a child of your own, if that's what you want. It's the greatest feeling a person can ever have, as far I know.
When I talk with you, I am honored deeply inside that you still call me Daddy, and still want to talk with me at all. I know Fathers aren't exactly cool any more; I was a teenage boy once. You honor me far more than I ever honored my own dad, and try as I might, I can't make up the time I lost with him when I was your age and older. Now it seems like I can talk with him so much easier, and maybe that's because I no longer feel like I have to prove myself to him.
And that's what this is all about, Ally. You don't ever have to do anything to prove yourself to me, either. I loved you before you were even born. I used to talk to you through your mom's belly button, and you would move almost every time I did. Now I am talking to you through something else, and I am hoping you will be moved again. You see, I love you.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and saying that seems so small, because, really, I can't compare how much I love you to anyone else. The difference cannot be described. If the difference were the distance between the earth and the moon, then that would still not be far enough to go to show you how much I love you. I can't explain it, Ally; I just can't.
You will never have to do anything, good or bad, for me to love you. I just love you. I just do. That love is real before anything else happens, before you ever do a single thing.
Yes, you are a good girl; or shall I say, an excellent young lady? You are far above me when I was your age. All of the things you have accomplished do make me so very proud; I admit it. But still, I loved you long before you ever accomplished anything.
So that's what I wanted to tell you, and I know you visit this page before you get to the other pages you visit on the web. I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to move you in your heart, and let you know that you are loved by me. I never realized what loving a child was like for a father until there was you. Now I am totally amazed that there can be so much love felt by a single heart. And that's the other thing I wanted you to know. Maybe you feel loved, maybe a little more right now than you did a moment before you read this, but the love in my heart for you makes me feel more wonderful than anything has ever made me feel. Loving you has been the greatest experience of my life. I never knew how wonderful love could feel, until there was you.
Thank you for being my daughter, my little girl, the one who is always growing up, but still gives her daddy hugs whenever he asks. Thank you. Someday, I hope you'll know what this love inside of me feels like for a child of your own, if that's what you want. It's the greatest feeling a person can ever have, as far I know.
7/09/2006
DON'T YOU WANT SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT YOU?
There is one question I am asked more than any other. Without fail, if someone gets to know me, they invariably ask, "Why aren't you looking for someone? Don't you want to get remarried again some day?"
I am the kind of man who set his sights on a marriage lasting forever. As far as I was concerned, the life I had with my wife and daughter was a life I had chosen for myself, and I decided to make the very best of it. For my part, my life was a good one. I guess that's what happens when you decide to make the best of something; you tend to notice the best, and look past the worst. All the other stuff in between is just varying shades of life. Much of it doesn't even make its way into a recallable memory.
Whenever I am asked about my future with a woman, I hesitate in my answer. I do so not because I don't know what to say, but because realistically, my answer may well have changed since the last time I was asked. So I think about it.
Recently, I was asked again, and I answered, "I had a wife, and before I was married, I never really considered the fact that the divorce rate was fifty percent or better. In fact, it never even crossed my mind; I guess I just didn't believe it would be something I had to concern myself with. Now, I am very aware of that statistic, and as I recall the days of my youth, I find it hard to believe that I was so blind to the bad risk that marriage is these days. Knowing what I know now, and what I should have known then, I can't honestly say I m willing to take the risk again, at least not right now."
My questioner didn't think this was a complete answer, so she questioned me further. "Yeah, but what about being in love? Don't you want someone to care about you?" I guess maybe my answer was honest, because she blinked hard as I gave it.
"I am almost thirty-nine years old, and although I have been married, I have never had a woman care about me in the way you believe one would. My former wife made it very clear that she never loved me to begin with. Is it true, that you have to love in order to consistently care about someone? Because if that's what you're talking about, then being near forty, I can tell you that 'no, I don't need someone to care about me, I've lived this long without it and I am sure I can live the next forty years without it as well' ".
She asked, "Your ex-wife never loved you? Didn't she ever say she loved you? If not, why did you marry her?"
"Of course she said she loved me, quite often, actually. She once told me she had never felt the way I made her feel before, just before she said 'I love you' for the first time. I asked her about all of those times, about all of those things. Do you know what she told me?" My questioner blinked hard again, and shook her head, no.
"She told me it was all lies, that she used me, and that if she had to rate her life with me, she would have judged me as 'unsatisfactory' ". I let that little tidbit hang in the air for a moment before I added, "One doesn't get past words like that very quickly, especially not when one is already as low emotionally as one can get."
"But you are past them now, aren't you?" She asked.
"Yeah, for the most part, but there are still times I hear those words, and there are still times I think of how my daughter felt through all of this, and those are the times that I realize we never really get ALL the way past everything. We crawl past, and sometimes we take leaps past, but the tentacles of our past are always reaching out for us, no matter how hard or fast we run from them. In answer to your question, I am no longer consumed by them, but I have not forgotten them either. Forgiveness is easy; healing myself was not."
"So then you have hang ups about trust." she continued to question.
"I don't think it's a trust issue. I think it's a 'do I really want to get married again?' issue, and I just haven't answered that question yet. The risk involved is not in favor of success, and that doesn't give me a great deal of confidence in it. I know for my part, I can make a marriage work. But I cannot make my partner make it work, and if that's a trust issue, then, yeah, maybe I don't trust a woman to carry through on her vows."
"Sure sounds like a trust issue to me" my interrogator said.
I guess we all have hangups about certain things. Will I ever get married again? I honestly do not know. But I do know this; I have never had a woman care about me the way a wife supposedly cares about a husband, and I am almost thrity-nine years old. I guess I really don't need someone to care about me, do I?
Would I like someone to? Maybe. I don't really know, because I don't know what it feels like. All I know is what faking it looks like.
I am the kind of man who set his sights on a marriage lasting forever. As far as I was concerned, the life I had with my wife and daughter was a life I had chosen for myself, and I decided to make the very best of it. For my part, my life was a good one. I guess that's what happens when you decide to make the best of something; you tend to notice the best, and look past the worst. All the other stuff in between is just varying shades of life. Much of it doesn't even make its way into a recallable memory.
Whenever I am asked about my future with a woman, I hesitate in my answer. I do so not because I don't know what to say, but because realistically, my answer may well have changed since the last time I was asked. So I think about it.
Recently, I was asked again, and I answered, "I had a wife, and before I was married, I never really considered the fact that the divorce rate was fifty percent or better. In fact, it never even crossed my mind; I guess I just didn't believe it would be something I had to concern myself with. Now, I am very aware of that statistic, and as I recall the days of my youth, I find it hard to believe that I was so blind to the bad risk that marriage is these days. Knowing what I know now, and what I should have known then, I can't honestly say I m willing to take the risk again, at least not right now."
My questioner didn't think this was a complete answer, so she questioned me further. "Yeah, but what about being in love? Don't you want someone to care about you?" I guess maybe my answer was honest, because she blinked hard as I gave it.
"I am almost thirty-nine years old, and although I have been married, I have never had a woman care about me in the way you believe one would. My former wife made it very clear that she never loved me to begin with. Is it true, that you have to love in order to consistently care about someone? Because if that's what you're talking about, then being near forty, I can tell you that 'no, I don't need someone to care about me, I've lived this long without it and I am sure I can live the next forty years without it as well' ".
She asked, "Your ex-wife never loved you? Didn't she ever say she loved you? If not, why did you marry her?"
"Of course she said she loved me, quite often, actually. She once told me she had never felt the way I made her feel before, just before she said 'I love you' for the first time. I asked her about all of those times, about all of those things. Do you know what she told me?" My questioner blinked hard again, and shook her head, no.
"She told me it was all lies, that she used me, and that if she had to rate her life with me, she would have judged me as 'unsatisfactory' ". I let that little tidbit hang in the air for a moment before I added, "One doesn't get past words like that very quickly, especially not when one is already as low emotionally as one can get."
"But you are past them now, aren't you?" She asked.
"Yeah, for the most part, but there are still times I hear those words, and there are still times I think of how my daughter felt through all of this, and those are the times that I realize we never really get ALL the way past everything. We crawl past, and sometimes we take leaps past, but the tentacles of our past are always reaching out for us, no matter how hard or fast we run from them. In answer to your question, I am no longer consumed by them, but I have not forgotten them either. Forgiveness is easy; healing myself was not."
"So then you have hang ups about trust." she continued to question.
"I don't think it's a trust issue. I think it's a 'do I really want to get married again?' issue, and I just haven't answered that question yet. The risk involved is not in favor of success, and that doesn't give me a great deal of confidence in it. I know for my part, I can make a marriage work. But I cannot make my partner make it work, and if that's a trust issue, then, yeah, maybe I don't trust a woman to carry through on her vows."
"Sure sounds like a trust issue to me" my interrogator said.
I guess we all have hangups about certain things. Will I ever get married again? I honestly do not know. But I do know this; I have never had a woman care about me the way a wife supposedly cares about a husband, and I am almost thrity-nine years old. I guess I really don't need someone to care about me, do I?
Would I like someone to? Maybe. I don't really know, because I don't know what it feels like. All I know is what faking it looks like.
7/05/2006
CHECKING IN
At some point, I am going to start blogging regularly again. As things stand currently, my office was just gutted (by me), and I have been working to put it back together again as I get time. And, if I were a really good writer, I could have made that sentence run on at least another one hundred words. Maybe some day...we all have our dreams.
There is so much I want to write about, and share with you. Isn't it funny how when you want to write, you either have no time, or things (such as offices being redone) stand in the way, whereas when you could just as soon shove writing, you have all the time in the world? At any rate, I'll start again, and when I do, things are going to get regular around here; and I'm not talking about bowel movements.
Thanks for stopping by so often. You have no idea how much that means to me and my ego. I admit it. I am not afraid of admitting it, and I think deep, deep down, you know that my ego is the largest part of me...except maybe..., nah. (Really, I was going to say my belly...really I was!) ;)
In the meantime, (for you out-of-towners, "meantime" is defined as time spent in the mean, otherwise known as, time between events), hang in there, and always know that although my love doesn't always go with you ( I wish I was more, I really do), the love of Christ covers all of my shortcomings, and that love follows you wherever you go.
Now, aren't you glad you stopped by?
There is so much I want to write about, and share with you. Isn't it funny how when you want to write, you either have no time, or things (such as offices being redone) stand in the way, whereas when you could just as soon shove writing, you have all the time in the world? At any rate, I'll start again, and when I do, things are going to get regular around here; and I'm not talking about bowel movements.
Thanks for stopping by so often. You have no idea how much that means to me and my ego. I admit it. I am not afraid of admitting it, and I think deep, deep down, you know that my ego is the largest part of me...except maybe..., nah. (Really, I was going to say my belly...really I was!) ;)
In the meantime, (for you out-of-towners, "meantime" is defined as time spent in the mean, otherwise known as, time between events), hang in there, and always know that although my love doesn't always go with you ( I wish I was more, I really do), the love of Christ covers all of my shortcomings, and that love follows you wherever you go.
Now, aren't you glad you stopped by?
6/26/2006
TERRORIST RANT
This post may seem to be written by someone other than me. If you are shocked by what I have to say, if this post takes you by surprise, and you believe I am not being myself, guess again. This is exactly how I feel with regards to what I am about to write.
Can anyone tell me if there has ever been a successful terrorist attack?
By successful, I mean that the attack or series of attacks met a goal that was set in the first place as the REASON behind the attack? I think back to something Osama Bin Laden said several years ago, regarding the main reason behind Al Qaida's terror being the effort to rid Islamic nations of infidels (mainly Americans) and to drive out every last Jew from Israel (oops, I meant Palestine)
I heard of another terorist attack in Iraq this afternoon while driving home. It was in a place that is located some sixty-five miles south of Baghdad, killing fifteen, I believe, and wounding over fifty others. The attack took place in a market, while people were buying vegetables for dinner. I felt enraged inside, to the point where I wanted to grab my hunting rifle when I got home, fly to Iraq, and go terrorist hunting...just for fun.
I'm serious. I am so sick of idiotic fools killing innocent people all in the name of some goofy religious idea, or claiming Jihad or a christian holy writ to murder masses of innocent people all for some vague purpose that no one has ever accomplished even once, so far as I know.
What is the freaking reason again? Oh yeah, Sunnis killing Shiites because Shiites don't wash their hands before dinner or something. (yes, I admit, I truly do not understand the various nuances amongst Islamic sects, for that matter, I don't even understand the various nuances between Christian, hindu, buddhist, and Hari Krishna sects, either)
So I had an idea. Why not kill terrorists for a reason everyone can understand?
WHY NOT KILL THEM JUST FOR FUN?
I am certain that in his sick, twisted mind, that is a reason Osama Bin Laden could relate to. In fact, he'd probably respect us for it.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit too much...I mean after all, what would my brothers and sisters in Christ say if they knew I wanted to kill terrorists for fun? Would it even be fun?
The truth is, it wouldn't. It would be the saddest thing I could think of doing, but in my frustration, I write these things that I think of, and I am just going to be too stubborn to delete them. Think of me what you will. Or maybe you have harbored some of the same thoughts, and are just too image conscious to speak them out loud?
I hate it when innocent people are killed for no reason. And I'm not sorry for calling crusades and religious temper tantrums "no reason". Deal with it. It isn't a reason, to kill or maim someone you don't know for a cause that uses God as the reason. It's no reason at all. Truth is, about the only thing you can call it is cowardice. And speaking of cowardice, if Osama Bin Laden were a man at all, he'd come out of hiding, instead of squirelling himself away for safety's sake and sending other young men and women to die in his so deserved place. Get some balls, Osama!
I hate it when people who can't defend themselves are picked on, hurt, or killed. I always have. Some people will say "yeah, I hate that", and will agree with me. But you need to to understand what I mean when I say "hate". I mean, I get livid, can't- see- straight, so- angry- that -I -could- crush-concrete -in my -bare- hands- mad! My stomach turns, my head becomes pressurized, and I feel myself start to burn with fever when I see or hear someone who cannot defend themselves being picked on. I hate it! I absolutley, totally, and in all other ways, HATE IT!
I want someone to tell me that terrorists are achiving a worthy goal, or that they have achieved ANY goal at all. Because otherwise, all I see is a bunch of innocent people dying or being hurt by a bunch of temper-tantrum-throwing stupid bullies. And do you know what I want to do to these bullies? Do you want to know? Good God, I don't even know if I want to know that I could be so cruel and self- justifying.
Someone please tell me that the reason terrorists keep terrorizing is because their reign of terror is absolutely effective, and is achieving their every goal. Someone please tell me that everything they have done in the name of some god or some "cause" has ultimately fulfilled every one of their goals. I have searched and searched, first my memory, and then history, and then newspaper archives. I have yet to find even one instance where a terrorist attack, or a series of attacks achieved anything except to kill a bunch of people.
If that is all that is being accomplished, then I think it's time to stop writing or reporting WHY the terrorists kill, and just start reporting the truth.
Here it is.
TERRORISTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY LIKE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE. TERRORISTS KILL AND MAIM THOSE WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE COWARDS THEMSELVES, AND ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT, NOT SEEING THE VALUE OF THE HUMAN LIFE THEY SO WANTONLY DESTROY, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
And there it is. Deny it if you want, if you are a terrorist, but history has proven so far, (and no one has proven otherwise) that terrorism as a means for achieving goals is completely worthless and never, EVER succeeds. Which leaves the only other possible reason for killing innocent people; because you LIKE it.
So killing terrorists for fun, although wrong and not recommended, would at least be speaking in a language that every terrorist everywhere at every time can understand as a good reason. I openly admit that killing terrorists for fun is NOT a good reason, but in my frustration and anger, there are times I would like to try it.
I know there isn't much love in this post. But if you could feel the love I feel that drives me to such anger at the defenseless and innocent being used as pawns in some asshole's game, you might think twice of accusing me of being loveless. It is love for those defenseless innocents that drives me to such an anger. It is love for a child who died, or the bereaved father who cannot understand who could kill a child with a suicide bomb. It is the anticipation of overwhelming grief for those who are robbed of life or their loved ones for goals and reasons that are never, ever accomplished.
It is all so senseless. Except for this...is there anything more pitiful than a suicide bomber who kills no one else but himself? Or maybe is there anything better? Is that what we've come to? That we celebrate the fact that a young man or woman strapped a bomb to themselves because some asshole told them they would be in paradise for doing so, and in the end, they only killed themselves? Do we celebrate that? I mourn it. But I see that they were terrorists, misguided as they were. And maybe, just maybe, the bomb killing only themselves was a blessing. And maybe, just maybe, now that they are with God, they are glad the bomb only killed themselves, too.
Can anyone tell me if there has ever been a successful terrorist attack?
By successful, I mean that the attack or series of attacks met a goal that was set in the first place as the REASON behind the attack? I think back to something Osama Bin Laden said several years ago, regarding the main reason behind Al Qaida's terror being the effort to rid Islamic nations of infidels (mainly Americans) and to drive out every last Jew from Israel (oops, I meant Palestine)
I heard of another terorist attack in Iraq this afternoon while driving home. It was in a place that is located some sixty-five miles south of Baghdad, killing fifteen, I believe, and wounding over fifty others. The attack took place in a market, while people were buying vegetables for dinner. I felt enraged inside, to the point where I wanted to grab my hunting rifle when I got home, fly to Iraq, and go terrorist hunting...just for fun.
I'm serious. I am so sick of idiotic fools killing innocent people all in the name of some goofy religious idea, or claiming Jihad or a christian holy writ to murder masses of innocent people all for some vague purpose that no one has ever accomplished even once, so far as I know.
What is the freaking reason again? Oh yeah, Sunnis killing Shiites because Shiites don't wash their hands before dinner or something. (yes, I admit, I truly do not understand the various nuances amongst Islamic sects, for that matter, I don't even understand the various nuances between Christian, hindu, buddhist, and Hari Krishna sects, either)
So I had an idea. Why not kill terrorists for a reason everyone can understand?
WHY NOT KILL THEM JUST FOR FUN?
I am certain that in his sick, twisted mind, that is a reason Osama Bin Laden could relate to. In fact, he'd probably respect us for it.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit too much...I mean after all, what would my brothers and sisters in Christ say if they knew I wanted to kill terrorists for fun? Would it even be fun?
The truth is, it wouldn't. It would be the saddest thing I could think of doing, but in my frustration, I write these things that I think of, and I am just going to be too stubborn to delete them. Think of me what you will. Or maybe you have harbored some of the same thoughts, and are just too image conscious to speak them out loud?
I hate it when innocent people are killed for no reason. And I'm not sorry for calling crusades and religious temper tantrums "no reason". Deal with it. It isn't a reason, to kill or maim someone you don't know for a cause that uses God as the reason. It's no reason at all. Truth is, about the only thing you can call it is cowardice. And speaking of cowardice, if Osama Bin Laden were a man at all, he'd come out of hiding, instead of squirelling himself away for safety's sake and sending other young men and women to die in his so deserved place. Get some balls, Osama!
I hate it when people who can't defend themselves are picked on, hurt, or killed. I always have. Some people will say "yeah, I hate that", and will agree with me. But you need to to understand what I mean when I say "hate". I mean, I get livid, can't- see- straight, so- angry- that -I -could- crush-concrete -in my -bare- hands- mad! My stomach turns, my head becomes pressurized, and I feel myself start to burn with fever when I see or hear someone who cannot defend themselves being picked on. I hate it! I absolutley, totally, and in all other ways, HATE IT!
I want someone to tell me that terrorists are achiving a worthy goal, or that they have achieved ANY goal at all. Because otherwise, all I see is a bunch of innocent people dying or being hurt by a bunch of temper-tantrum-throwing stupid bullies. And do you know what I want to do to these bullies? Do you want to know? Good God, I don't even know if I want to know that I could be so cruel and self- justifying.
Someone please tell me that the reason terrorists keep terrorizing is because their reign of terror is absolutely effective, and is achieving their every goal. Someone please tell me that everything they have done in the name of some god or some "cause" has ultimately fulfilled every one of their goals. I have searched and searched, first my memory, and then history, and then newspaper archives. I have yet to find even one instance where a terrorist attack, or a series of attacks achieved anything except to kill a bunch of people.
If that is all that is being accomplished, then I think it's time to stop writing or reporting WHY the terrorists kill, and just start reporting the truth.
Here it is.
TERRORISTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY LIKE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE. TERRORISTS KILL AND MAIM THOSE WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE COWARDS THEMSELVES, AND ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT, NOT SEEING THE VALUE OF THE HUMAN LIFE THEY SO WANTONLY DESTROY, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
And there it is. Deny it if you want, if you are a terrorist, but history has proven so far, (and no one has proven otherwise) that terrorism as a means for achieving goals is completely worthless and never, EVER succeeds. Which leaves the only other possible reason for killing innocent people; because you LIKE it.
So killing terrorists for fun, although wrong and not recommended, would at least be speaking in a language that every terrorist everywhere at every time can understand as a good reason. I openly admit that killing terrorists for fun is NOT a good reason, but in my frustration and anger, there are times I would like to try it.
I know there isn't much love in this post. But if you could feel the love I feel that drives me to such anger at the defenseless and innocent being used as pawns in some asshole's game, you might think twice of accusing me of being loveless. It is love for those defenseless innocents that drives me to such an anger. It is love for a child who died, or the bereaved father who cannot understand who could kill a child with a suicide bomb. It is the anticipation of overwhelming grief for those who are robbed of life or their loved ones for goals and reasons that are never, ever accomplished.
It is all so senseless. Except for this...is there anything more pitiful than a suicide bomber who kills no one else but himself? Or maybe is there anything better? Is that what we've come to? That we celebrate the fact that a young man or woman strapped a bomb to themselves because some asshole told them they would be in paradise for doing so, and in the end, they only killed themselves? Do we celebrate that? I mourn it. But I see that they were terrorists, misguided as they were. And maybe, just maybe, the bomb killing only themselves was a blessing. And maybe, just maybe, now that they are with God, they are glad the bomb only killed themselves, too.
6/21/2006
OH COME ON! LAUGH!!
What? No asteroid? No disappearance because of evolution? You mean dinosaurs were just as stupid as me?Looks like excessive drinking could have been a factor too. Just look at the size of those beer bellies!
6/19/2006
FREEDOM FROM
Freedom from the same old thing.
Freedom from worrying about what others think of me.
Freedom from conventional "wisdom", whatever that is. Maybe it's like common sense, which we find more and more isn't so common.
Freedom from HAVING to do anything to EARN God's "blessings", which by the way, is what many mainstream Christians think they have to do. I should know, I came from there.
Freedom from guilt.
Freedom from my past.
Freedom from carrying the betrayals of others around unforgiven.
Freedom from bad blood between us.
Freedom from how I perceive you, and how you perceive me.
Freedom from dragging my daughter through the mud of guilt.
Freedom from having yet another thing weigh on my conscience.
Freedom from hate.
Freedom from rejection.
Freedom from sin.
Freedom from wondering what sin is, and what it isn't.
Freedom from wondering if I have pleased God today.
Freedom from lasting anger.
Freedom from myself, who is currently my worst enemy, especially when he whispers that I am not really free.
Freedom from worrying if what I believe is false.
Freedom from everything that is physical.
Freedom from everything that is within me.
Freedom from everything that is without me.
Freedom from lack of confidence.
Freedom from all I ever feared.
These are a few of my favorite things. They come to me because God has set me free through Jesus Christ. I didn't have to believe right, and I didn't have to act right. He took care of all that for me. That's why I am so free, because it didn't depend on me.
Freedom from worrying about what others think of me.
Freedom from conventional "wisdom", whatever that is. Maybe it's like common sense, which we find more and more isn't so common.
Freedom from HAVING to do anything to EARN God's "blessings", which by the way, is what many mainstream Christians think they have to do. I should know, I came from there.
Freedom from guilt.
Freedom from my past.
Freedom from carrying the betrayals of others around unforgiven.
Freedom from bad blood between us.
Freedom from how I perceive you, and how you perceive me.
Freedom from dragging my daughter through the mud of guilt.
Freedom from having yet another thing weigh on my conscience.
Freedom from hate.
Freedom from rejection.
Freedom from sin.
Freedom from wondering what sin is, and what it isn't.
Freedom from wondering if I have pleased God today.
Freedom from lasting anger.
Freedom from myself, who is currently my worst enemy, especially when he whispers that I am not really free.
Freedom from worrying if what I believe is false.
Freedom from everything that is physical.
Freedom from everything that is within me.
Freedom from everything that is without me.
Freedom from lack of confidence.
Freedom from all I ever feared.
These are a few of my favorite things. They come to me because God has set me free through Jesus Christ. I didn't have to believe right, and I didn't have to act right. He took care of all that for me. That's why I am so free, because it didn't depend on me.
ROLE PLAYER
Monday morning of possibly the longest week yet. Hmmm. Somehow, I don't really feel all that bad about facing it. Loving what I do is part of that. A change of attitude over a long period of time helps as well.
Sometimes life gets busy, and sometimes work is what causes that. This is my part in this world this week, and I think I am going to enjoy playing it. Will you enjoy playing your part as well?
Sometimes life gets busy, and sometimes work is what causes that. This is my part in this world this week, and I think I am going to enjoy playing it. Will you enjoy playing your part as well?
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