7/10/2006

TO ALLY, WITH ALL OF MY LOVE

My Ally, my baby. I know well you are not a baby any longer, being fourteen and going on twenty. You are in such a hurry to grow up, and I'll try my best not to stand in the way.

When I talk with you, I am honored deeply inside that you still call me Daddy, and still want to talk with me at all. I know Fathers aren't exactly cool any more; I was a teenage boy once. You honor me far more than I ever honored my own dad, and try as I might, I can't make up the time I lost with him when I was your age and older. Now it seems like I can talk with him so much easier, and maybe that's because I no longer feel like I have to prove myself to him.

And that's what this is all about, Ally. You don't ever have to do anything to prove yourself to me, either. I loved you before you were even born. I used to talk to you through your mom's belly button, and you would move almost every time I did. Now I am talking to you through something else, and I am hoping you will be moved again. You see, I love you.

I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and saying that seems so small, because, really, I can't compare how much I love you to anyone else. The difference cannot be described. If the difference were the distance between the earth and the moon, then that would still not be far enough to go to show you how much I love you. I can't explain it, Ally; I just can't.

You will never have to do anything, good or bad, for me to love you. I just love you. I just do. That love is real before anything else happens, before you ever do a single thing.

Yes, you are a good girl; or shall I say, an excellent young lady? You are far above me when I was your age. All of the things you have accomplished do make me so very proud; I admit it. But still, I loved you long before you ever accomplished anything.

So that's what I wanted to tell you, and I know you visit this page before you get to the other pages you visit on the web. I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to move you in your heart, and let you know that you are loved by me. I never realized what loving a child was like for a father until there was you. Now I am totally amazed that there can be so much love felt by a single heart. And that's the other thing I wanted you to know. Maybe you feel loved, maybe a little more right now than you did a moment before you read this, but the love in my heart for you makes me feel more wonderful than anything has ever made me feel. Loving you has been the greatest experience of my life. I never knew how wonderful love could feel, until there was you.

Thank you for being my daughter, my little girl, the one who is always growing up, but still gives her daddy hugs whenever he asks. Thank you. Someday, I hope you'll know what this love inside of me feels like for a child of your own, if that's what you want. It's the greatest feeling a person can ever have, as far I know.

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