I shared a moment with Heidi on Friday evening. In actuality, I have had several very short conversations with her and her friends in the last couple of weeks, but Friday, it was simply one of those moments you enjoy for what it is.
I didn't say a word to her from across the patio. ( we were outside at the time) I just happened to be looking at something, and then a thought crossed my mind which I felt was rather comical (having to do with a 'gaggle' of women). As I turned away from what I was looking at, there was Heidi looking right at me. We made eye contact, and I decided not to break it. She might have decided to do the same, because she smiled at first, then laughed a little, and asked over the noise, "What?" with this big Heidi-like smile on her face.
I said, "nothing", but I couldn't help laughing along, as I thought about what my previous stream of consciousness had been. So, I looked back at what I had been looking at before I saw Heidi, and then looked back at her. She was looking directly at me again, our eyes locked, and she asked, "What?", still smiling, although seeming to blush a bit now. I repeated what I had I said in response the first time, and we held the eye contact for a few more moments, laughing gently, until her friend grabbed her attention away from the moment.
Not much to talk about if you weren't involved in the moment, but times like that make me feel alive and full of spirit. She's still seeing her boyfriend, and I am still being a distant admirer of beauty, and above all, polite. I can't help but feel that there's something there, but at the same time, really, there's nothing there, because she's not available. So, I stand back, and in honesty, I hope the very best for her, whatever that may be.
Moments like that are a huge part of this thing called life, and all I want to do is enjoy them as fully as possible. It makes the moment better when it's shared with someone like like Heidi.
7/16/2006
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