WHY I STILL GO TO CHURCH

There have been many who have left the IC in years past.  Some have left because of abuses suffered, while some have left because they found their walk with Jesus stifled to the point of almost non-existence.  I readily admit that this is a strong possibility for people, especially when they suddenly find themselves trusting the system rather than the Savior.  In light of that statement, however, the same trouble can be found outside of the IC, where one might trust his freedom more than he trusts the Savior.  Wherever you are at, please understand  that Jesus knows you are there, and you are there only as the result of His will, for not even a sparrow falls apart from the Will of God. 
            Having said that, let me tell you why I still go to church.  The first and most obvious answer has to be the people.  I simply, and truly love everyone I know in my church.  I don’t know everyone, but there hasn’t been a single person I have gotten to know whom I haven’t also felt a deep love for.  I know in me, that is impossible, so I will just give the glory to Jesus for that.  For reasons I do not know, I feel such a profound connection and compassion for these people.  The response to that love is their love toward me, which isn’t contrived or put on, but genuine as the day is long.
            Four years ago, my wife left me for another man.  I had just started going to this church one year prior.  The outstretched arms of an entire congregation met me, even those who didn’t know me.  I was not left to deal with my grief alone, but I was allowed to grieve nonetheless.  I was encouraged to live, but discouraged from leaping off the cliff in haste.  The wisdom and truth I found kept me alive, and the love gave me joy at a time when I had no earthly reason to have it.  These people were the hug from Jesus I so desperately needed.  Jesus was physical in this place, not just an abstract idea.  And, while some churches grieve with others well, this church also rejoices with those who rejoice, something not found in too many churches.  The people are the biggest reason I am still there.
            Since beginning to come to this church, I have been involved in a small group of some sort at every turn.  For two and a half years, I have led a small group, first with couples, and now with a group of men who calls themselves the Boy’s Club.  To leave them would break my heart, I believe.  I have learned so much from them, which I know, seems backwards at first glance.  After all, the world looks at a leader as a teacher, and to be sure, some teaching does go on.  But by far, I am the one taught, at least that is my perspective on it. 
            What do these men teach me?  They have taught me how to come under someone who is grieving, how to help support someone who needs financial support, how to be the ear for someone who rarely gets a chance to talk to anyone, and how to be the laughter when another is celebrating.  And I get to be a part of this on a regular basis.  They have taught me that it is not what I teach them that causes me to grow, or them to grow, but what the Spirit teaches all of us wherever we are at.  The bond between us has survived anger, grief, joy, division, and celebration.  You just don’t know what a relationship is made of until it has been tested by fire.  Certainly I could meet with these men outside of the IC, but why bother?  More are coming, and so long as we trust Jesus, that will continue.  He will bring whom He wishes to bring, and it will be enough.  He has asked me to be there, and to leave the numbers to Him.  He has asked me to gently guide new believers into relationship with Him, and that is all that I do.  Outside of the IC, I do not believe I could have this opportunity as frequently as I do now.  And it is an opportunity, to love, share, grow, help, minister, and relate in ways I never knew possible.  My cup overfloweth, and Jesus has given me an avenue to share it.  What sort of an ingrate would I be to walk away?
            I go to church because I want to, not because I need to.  That is the foundation of any relationship, desire rather than need.  I go because there is no place I know of this side of heaven where I can hear a multitude of voices praising God in song and word.  Yes, I know, some of what people sing is lies.  But, no one has written the song that says, “I know at times I’m a fraud, and my worship is a lie, along with everything else I seem to do sometimes.  But Jesus, I love you anyway, and when I sing that I want you to be my all, it is a hope, and a dream I cannot bring about myself.”  I don’t know of a single believer, in the IC, or out of it who isn’t in some ways a fraud in their relationship with Jesus.  I can do that in church, and I can do it out of church.  I think Jesus wants me to be willing to be made willing.  He will do the rest.  And that doesn’t matter where I am, it only matters where He is. 
            I struggle with worship, and prayer out loud.  I struggle with singing songs that seem to me to be lies.  But every so often, I feel this urge to just add my voice to the multitude, to know that one day, this will be real for me, and that what I sing will be true, because I will see God as He really is.  If I have to wait until what I am singing is perfectly true, then I will never worship God here.  He accepts my imperfect worship, because He knows who I am, and that is enough, for now. 
            I love my pastors, both of them.  They led the charge, along with four other close friends, when I went through the pain of loss.  In a church of four hundred people, somehow one of them always had time for me.  They came to my house, and I went to theirs.  We ate together, and talked together, and just existed sometimes because that was all that was needed.  I am not alone.  Anyone can have a relationship with my pastors, if they choose.  They are not above us, and they are not below us.  They are just with us, trying as we are, to live life in a world full of trouble.  Maybe it helps that my pastors admit their struggles, and don’t pass themselves off as “having it all together”.  Maybe it’s just the fact that whenever I am with them, I sense the Holy Spirit in me, in agreement with them.  It’s like God saying hi to God, only in our case, it is Tom saying hi to Rick, or John. 
            I go because I am encouraged to stretch my knowledge of Scripture beyond what they can teach me.  I am encouraged to take responsibility for my walk, rather than relying on a church to do it for me.  I am encouraged to apply what I learn from God, and share it with everyone I meet.  I am encouraged to remember that I am a leader only in name, but as such, a greater responsibility to submit belongs to me.  I am encouraged to know that not everyone is at the same place in their walk, yet the Spirit will speak according to where each one is. 
            I go to this church because I am a misfit.  My senior pastor, Rick, is a misfit, the son of an American serviceman, and Japanese mother.  He was ridiculed as a youth for the way he looked, and it worsened when they found out he was a believer.  He fits no where, in America, or in Japan, because he looks like neither.  He could have had a hardened heart because of that, but God chose to use it for good, and so it is. 
            I do not fit in anywhere.  I am not a person who conforms.  I have always marched to my own drummer, and now that drummer is Jesus.  Yes, even in the IC, Rick and I stick out.  That’s okay, we are then able to encourage others to just be themselves, and be at peace and content with that, rather than try to put on a show.  I feel such a bond with Rick, that I can’t explain it.  Maybe it’s the letter I had opportunity to write to his wife when she went through a deep personal struggle.  Maybe it’s the fact that we understand each other.  Maybe it’s just as simple as Jesus being alive and well in both of us.  Whatever it is, I know it is true, and it is love, and it is right. 
            I still go to church because that is where Jesus has me.  I would argue with anyone would says  “You just don’t know any better.”  You see, when you say that to me, you say it to Jesus as well.  I am someone who is so secure in his walk with Christ, that I know that.  I would say, “shame on you for trying to make me feel a false way.”  The fact is, you don’t know what is better for me, you aren’t smart enough to even begin to guess.  Please forgive me for the strength of those words, but they are true, and there is no denying that.     Since Jesus lives in me, whatever one says to me, he says to Jesus. 
            I go to church because people I love are there.  I go to church because I get to be part of other people’s walks as much as I want.  I go because I don’t have to be the most important person anywhere I am, I am content with who I am, even if that means I am less than what some think I should be.  I go to church because I know these people, because when something is bothering them, I can see it, and feel it, and I can offer help.  I go because they do the same for me.  I go because Jesus is there, and I know it.  I know the peace that transcends all understanding.  I feel it every day.  And I have it there, as well.  I have the gift of discernment, and I can feel, physically, when evil is about.  But, I can also feel when the Spirit is about, and there isn’t anything like it amongst a multitude of believers.
            Someday, that feeling I feel, when I feel the Spirit, will knock me off my feet, in heaven, and worshipping won’t be hard, when I see God as He really is.  Right now, I see Him only partially.  But when I am complete, I will see Him as He is.   I want to worship Him as He deserves, but since He is willing to wait, so must I be.
            I go to church because I can.  I go to church because the Spirit can be found there, as well as anywhere.  I go to church because the community of believers is real.  In heaven, corporate worship will be prevalent.  We will hear multitudes of voices singing and praising.  Sometime, just sometimes, I feel that in my church.  I don’t feel that in the shopping mall, or at McDonalds, or in a bar.  I feel at church, and there is a reason, because there is ALWAYS a place for a multitude of believers to praise God, even if it is imperfect. 
            I know there are things about my church that aren’t perfect.  I even know what some of those are.  I make no excuses, I just try to do the best I can.  But I also know that those outside of the IC have their own logs to contend with, and I don’t see that driving them to someplace different.  You see, it just doesn’t matter where you are.  Whether it be the IC, or a house you live in, Jesus will be there.  Where the flock is, there the Shepherd will be also. 
            I say, worship God, as best you can.  Don’t get hung up on ideologies, because none of them will survive the fire.  And all this will one day be put to fire.  We, the believers, are the only ones who will survive that fire.  Buildings won’t, and ideologies won’t.  Methods won’t, nor will house churches. 
            We are here to do one thing, to glorify the Almighty God.  There just isn’t anything that doesn’t pale in comparison to that.  Thank you.