My Ally, my baby. I know well you are not a baby any longer, being fourteen and going on twenty. You are in such a hurry to grow up, and I'll try my best not to stand in the way.
When I talk with you, I am honored deeply inside that you still call me Daddy, and still want to talk with me at all. I know Fathers aren't exactly cool any more; I was a teenage boy once. You honor me far more than I ever honored my own dad, and try as I might, I can't make up the time I lost with him when I was your age and older. Now it seems like I can talk with him so much easier, and maybe that's because I no longer feel like I have to prove myself to him.
And that's what this is all about, Ally. You don't ever have to do anything to prove yourself to me, either. I loved you before you were even born. I used to talk to you through your mom's belly button, and you would move almost every time I did. Now I am talking to you through something else, and I am hoping you will be moved again. You see, I love you.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, and saying that seems so small, because, really, I can't compare how much I love you to anyone else. The difference cannot be described. If the difference were the distance between the earth and the moon, then that would still not be far enough to go to show you how much I love you. I can't explain it, Ally; I just can't.
You will never have to do anything, good or bad, for me to love you. I just love you. I just do. That love is real before anything else happens, before you ever do a single thing.
Yes, you are a good girl; or shall I say, an excellent young lady? You are far above me when I was your age. All of the things you have accomplished do make me so very proud; I admit it. But still, I loved you long before you ever accomplished anything.
So that's what I wanted to tell you, and I know you visit this page before you get to the other pages you visit on the web. I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to move you in your heart, and let you know that you are loved by me. I never realized what loving a child was like for a father until there was you. Now I am totally amazed that there can be so much love felt by a single heart. And that's the other thing I wanted you to know. Maybe you feel loved, maybe a little more right now than you did a moment before you read this, but the love in my heart for you makes me feel more wonderful than anything has ever made me feel. Loving you has been the greatest experience of my life. I never knew how wonderful love could feel, until there was you.
Thank you for being my daughter, my little girl, the one who is always growing up, but still gives her daddy hugs whenever he asks. Thank you. Someday, I hope you'll know what this love inside of me feels like for a child of your own, if that's what you want. It's the greatest feeling a person can ever have, as far I know.
7/10/2006
7/09/2006
DON'T YOU WANT SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT YOU?
There is one question I am asked more than any other. Without fail, if someone gets to know me, they invariably ask, "Why aren't you looking for someone? Don't you want to get remarried again some day?"
I am the kind of man who set his sights on a marriage lasting forever. As far as I was concerned, the life I had with my wife and daughter was a life I had chosen for myself, and I decided to make the very best of it. For my part, my life was a good one. I guess that's what happens when you decide to make the best of something; you tend to notice the best, and look past the worst. All the other stuff in between is just varying shades of life. Much of it doesn't even make its way into a recallable memory.
Whenever I am asked about my future with a woman, I hesitate in my answer. I do so not because I don't know what to say, but because realistically, my answer may well have changed since the last time I was asked. So I think about it.
Recently, I was asked again, and I answered, "I had a wife, and before I was married, I never really considered the fact that the divorce rate was fifty percent or better. In fact, it never even crossed my mind; I guess I just didn't believe it would be something I had to concern myself with. Now, I am very aware of that statistic, and as I recall the days of my youth, I find it hard to believe that I was so blind to the bad risk that marriage is these days. Knowing what I know now, and what I should have known then, I can't honestly say I m willing to take the risk again, at least not right now."
My questioner didn't think this was a complete answer, so she questioned me further. "Yeah, but what about being in love? Don't you want someone to care about you?" I guess maybe my answer was honest, because she blinked hard as I gave it.
"I am almost thirty-nine years old, and although I have been married, I have never had a woman care about me in the way you believe one would. My former wife made it very clear that she never loved me to begin with. Is it true, that you have to love in order to consistently care about someone? Because if that's what you're talking about, then being near forty, I can tell you that 'no, I don't need someone to care about me, I've lived this long without it and I am sure I can live the next forty years without it as well' ".
She asked, "Your ex-wife never loved you? Didn't she ever say she loved you? If not, why did you marry her?"
"Of course she said she loved me, quite often, actually. She once told me she had never felt the way I made her feel before, just before she said 'I love you' for the first time. I asked her about all of those times, about all of those things. Do you know what she told me?" My questioner blinked hard again, and shook her head, no.
"She told me it was all lies, that she used me, and that if she had to rate her life with me, she would have judged me as 'unsatisfactory' ". I let that little tidbit hang in the air for a moment before I added, "One doesn't get past words like that very quickly, especially not when one is already as low emotionally as one can get."
"But you are past them now, aren't you?" She asked.
"Yeah, for the most part, but there are still times I hear those words, and there are still times I think of how my daughter felt through all of this, and those are the times that I realize we never really get ALL the way past everything. We crawl past, and sometimes we take leaps past, but the tentacles of our past are always reaching out for us, no matter how hard or fast we run from them. In answer to your question, I am no longer consumed by them, but I have not forgotten them either. Forgiveness is easy; healing myself was not."
"So then you have hang ups about trust." she continued to question.
"I don't think it's a trust issue. I think it's a 'do I really want to get married again?' issue, and I just haven't answered that question yet. The risk involved is not in favor of success, and that doesn't give me a great deal of confidence in it. I know for my part, I can make a marriage work. But I cannot make my partner make it work, and if that's a trust issue, then, yeah, maybe I don't trust a woman to carry through on her vows."
"Sure sounds like a trust issue to me" my interrogator said.
I guess we all have hangups about certain things. Will I ever get married again? I honestly do not know. But I do know this; I have never had a woman care about me the way a wife supposedly cares about a husband, and I am almost thrity-nine years old. I guess I really don't need someone to care about me, do I?
Would I like someone to? Maybe. I don't really know, because I don't know what it feels like. All I know is what faking it looks like.
I am the kind of man who set his sights on a marriage lasting forever. As far as I was concerned, the life I had with my wife and daughter was a life I had chosen for myself, and I decided to make the very best of it. For my part, my life was a good one. I guess that's what happens when you decide to make the best of something; you tend to notice the best, and look past the worst. All the other stuff in between is just varying shades of life. Much of it doesn't even make its way into a recallable memory.
Whenever I am asked about my future with a woman, I hesitate in my answer. I do so not because I don't know what to say, but because realistically, my answer may well have changed since the last time I was asked. So I think about it.
Recently, I was asked again, and I answered, "I had a wife, and before I was married, I never really considered the fact that the divorce rate was fifty percent or better. In fact, it never even crossed my mind; I guess I just didn't believe it would be something I had to concern myself with. Now, I am very aware of that statistic, and as I recall the days of my youth, I find it hard to believe that I was so blind to the bad risk that marriage is these days. Knowing what I know now, and what I should have known then, I can't honestly say I m willing to take the risk again, at least not right now."
My questioner didn't think this was a complete answer, so she questioned me further. "Yeah, but what about being in love? Don't you want someone to care about you?" I guess maybe my answer was honest, because she blinked hard as I gave it.
"I am almost thirty-nine years old, and although I have been married, I have never had a woman care about me in the way you believe one would. My former wife made it very clear that she never loved me to begin with. Is it true, that you have to love in order to consistently care about someone? Because if that's what you're talking about, then being near forty, I can tell you that 'no, I don't need someone to care about me, I've lived this long without it and I am sure I can live the next forty years without it as well' ".
She asked, "Your ex-wife never loved you? Didn't she ever say she loved you? If not, why did you marry her?"
"Of course she said she loved me, quite often, actually. She once told me she had never felt the way I made her feel before, just before she said 'I love you' for the first time. I asked her about all of those times, about all of those things. Do you know what she told me?" My questioner blinked hard again, and shook her head, no.
"She told me it was all lies, that she used me, and that if she had to rate her life with me, she would have judged me as 'unsatisfactory' ". I let that little tidbit hang in the air for a moment before I added, "One doesn't get past words like that very quickly, especially not when one is already as low emotionally as one can get."
"But you are past them now, aren't you?" She asked.
"Yeah, for the most part, but there are still times I hear those words, and there are still times I think of how my daughter felt through all of this, and those are the times that I realize we never really get ALL the way past everything. We crawl past, and sometimes we take leaps past, but the tentacles of our past are always reaching out for us, no matter how hard or fast we run from them. In answer to your question, I am no longer consumed by them, but I have not forgotten them either. Forgiveness is easy; healing myself was not."
"So then you have hang ups about trust." she continued to question.
"I don't think it's a trust issue. I think it's a 'do I really want to get married again?' issue, and I just haven't answered that question yet. The risk involved is not in favor of success, and that doesn't give me a great deal of confidence in it. I know for my part, I can make a marriage work. But I cannot make my partner make it work, and if that's a trust issue, then, yeah, maybe I don't trust a woman to carry through on her vows."
"Sure sounds like a trust issue to me" my interrogator said.
I guess we all have hangups about certain things. Will I ever get married again? I honestly do not know. But I do know this; I have never had a woman care about me the way a wife supposedly cares about a husband, and I am almost thrity-nine years old. I guess I really don't need someone to care about me, do I?
Would I like someone to? Maybe. I don't really know, because I don't know what it feels like. All I know is what faking it looks like.
7/05/2006
CHECKING IN
At some point, I am going to start blogging regularly again. As things stand currently, my office was just gutted (by me), and I have been working to put it back together again as I get time. And, if I were a really good writer, I could have made that sentence run on at least another one hundred words. Maybe some day...we all have our dreams.
There is so much I want to write about, and share with you. Isn't it funny how when you want to write, you either have no time, or things (such as offices being redone) stand in the way, whereas when you could just as soon shove writing, you have all the time in the world? At any rate, I'll start again, and when I do, things are going to get regular around here; and I'm not talking about bowel movements.
Thanks for stopping by so often. You have no idea how much that means to me and my ego. I admit it. I am not afraid of admitting it, and I think deep, deep down, you know that my ego is the largest part of me...except maybe..., nah. (Really, I was going to say my belly...really I was!) ;)
In the meantime, (for you out-of-towners, "meantime" is defined as time spent in the mean, otherwise known as, time between events), hang in there, and always know that although my love doesn't always go with you ( I wish I was more, I really do), the love of Christ covers all of my shortcomings, and that love follows you wherever you go.
Now, aren't you glad you stopped by?
There is so much I want to write about, and share with you. Isn't it funny how when you want to write, you either have no time, or things (such as offices being redone) stand in the way, whereas when you could just as soon shove writing, you have all the time in the world? At any rate, I'll start again, and when I do, things are going to get regular around here; and I'm not talking about bowel movements.
Thanks for stopping by so often. You have no idea how much that means to me and my ego. I admit it. I am not afraid of admitting it, and I think deep, deep down, you know that my ego is the largest part of me...except maybe..., nah. (Really, I was going to say my belly...really I was!) ;)
In the meantime, (for you out-of-towners, "meantime" is defined as time spent in the mean, otherwise known as, time between events), hang in there, and always know that although my love doesn't always go with you ( I wish I was more, I really do), the love of Christ covers all of my shortcomings, and that love follows you wherever you go.
Now, aren't you glad you stopped by?
6/26/2006
TERRORIST RANT
This post may seem to be written by someone other than me. If you are shocked by what I have to say, if this post takes you by surprise, and you believe I am not being myself, guess again. This is exactly how I feel with regards to what I am about to write.
Can anyone tell me if there has ever been a successful terrorist attack?
By successful, I mean that the attack or series of attacks met a goal that was set in the first place as the REASON behind the attack? I think back to something Osama Bin Laden said several years ago, regarding the main reason behind Al Qaida's terror being the effort to rid Islamic nations of infidels (mainly Americans) and to drive out every last Jew from Israel (oops, I meant Palestine)
I heard of another terorist attack in Iraq this afternoon while driving home. It was in a place that is located some sixty-five miles south of Baghdad, killing fifteen, I believe, and wounding over fifty others. The attack took place in a market, while people were buying vegetables for dinner. I felt enraged inside, to the point where I wanted to grab my hunting rifle when I got home, fly to Iraq, and go terrorist hunting...just for fun.
I'm serious. I am so sick of idiotic fools killing innocent people all in the name of some goofy religious idea, or claiming Jihad or a christian holy writ to murder masses of innocent people all for some vague purpose that no one has ever accomplished even once, so far as I know.
What is the freaking reason again? Oh yeah, Sunnis killing Shiites because Shiites don't wash their hands before dinner or something. (yes, I admit, I truly do not understand the various nuances amongst Islamic sects, for that matter, I don't even understand the various nuances between Christian, hindu, buddhist, and Hari Krishna sects, either)
So I had an idea. Why not kill terrorists for a reason everyone can understand?
WHY NOT KILL THEM JUST FOR FUN?
I am certain that in his sick, twisted mind, that is a reason Osama Bin Laden could relate to. In fact, he'd probably respect us for it.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit too much...I mean after all, what would my brothers and sisters in Christ say if they knew I wanted to kill terrorists for fun? Would it even be fun?
The truth is, it wouldn't. It would be the saddest thing I could think of doing, but in my frustration, I write these things that I think of, and I am just going to be too stubborn to delete them. Think of me what you will. Or maybe you have harbored some of the same thoughts, and are just too image conscious to speak them out loud?
I hate it when innocent people are killed for no reason. And I'm not sorry for calling crusades and religious temper tantrums "no reason". Deal with it. It isn't a reason, to kill or maim someone you don't know for a cause that uses God as the reason. It's no reason at all. Truth is, about the only thing you can call it is cowardice. And speaking of cowardice, if Osama Bin Laden were a man at all, he'd come out of hiding, instead of squirelling himself away for safety's sake and sending other young men and women to die in his so deserved place. Get some balls, Osama!
I hate it when people who can't defend themselves are picked on, hurt, or killed. I always have. Some people will say "yeah, I hate that", and will agree with me. But you need to to understand what I mean when I say "hate". I mean, I get livid, can't- see- straight, so- angry- that -I -could- crush-concrete -in my -bare- hands- mad! My stomach turns, my head becomes pressurized, and I feel myself start to burn with fever when I see or hear someone who cannot defend themselves being picked on. I hate it! I absolutley, totally, and in all other ways, HATE IT!
I want someone to tell me that terrorists are achiving a worthy goal, or that they have achieved ANY goal at all. Because otherwise, all I see is a bunch of innocent people dying or being hurt by a bunch of temper-tantrum-throwing stupid bullies. And do you know what I want to do to these bullies? Do you want to know? Good God, I don't even know if I want to know that I could be so cruel and self- justifying.
Someone please tell me that the reason terrorists keep terrorizing is because their reign of terror is absolutely effective, and is achieving their every goal. Someone please tell me that everything they have done in the name of some god or some "cause" has ultimately fulfilled every one of their goals. I have searched and searched, first my memory, and then history, and then newspaper archives. I have yet to find even one instance where a terrorist attack, or a series of attacks achieved anything except to kill a bunch of people.
If that is all that is being accomplished, then I think it's time to stop writing or reporting WHY the terrorists kill, and just start reporting the truth.
Here it is.
TERRORISTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY LIKE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE. TERRORISTS KILL AND MAIM THOSE WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE COWARDS THEMSELVES, AND ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT, NOT SEEING THE VALUE OF THE HUMAN LIFE THEY SO WANTONLY DESTROY, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
And there it is. Deny it if you want, if you are a terrorist, but history has proven so far, (and no one has proven otherwise) that terrorism as a means for achieving goals is completely worthless and never, EVER succeeds. Which leaves the only other possible reason for killing innocent people; because you LIKE it.
So killing terrorists for fun, although wrong and not recommended, would at least be speaking in a language that every terrorist everywhere at every time can understand as a good reason. I openly admit that killing terrorists for fun is NOT a good reason, but in my frustration and anger, there are times I would like to try it.
I know there isn't much love in this post. But if you could feel the love I feel that drives me to such anger at the defenseless and innocent being used as pawns in some asshole's game, you might think twice of accusing me of being loveless. It is love for those defenseless innocents that drives me to such an anger. It is love for a child who died, or the bereaved father who cannot understand who could kill a child with a suicide bomb. It is the anticipation of overwhelming grief for those who are robbed of life or their loved ones for goals and reasons that are never, ever accomplished.
It is all so senseless. Except for this...is there anything more pitiful than a suicide bomber who kills no one else but himself? Or maybe is there anything better? Is that what we've come to? That we celebrate the fact that a young man or woman strapped a bomb to themselves because some asshole told them they would be in paradise for doing so, and in the end, they only killed themselves? Do we celebrate that? I mourn it. But I see that they were terrorists, misguided as they were. And maybe, just maybe, the bomb killing only themselves was a blessing. And maybe, just maybe, now that they are with God, they are glad the bomb only killed themselves, too.
Can anyone tell me if there has ever been a successful terrorist attack?
By successful, I mean that the attack or series of attacks met a goal that was set in the first place as the REASON behind the attack? I think back to something Osama Bin Laden said several years ago, regarding the main reason behind Al Qaida's terror being the effort to rid Islamic nations of infidels (mainly Americans) and to drive out every last Jew from Israel (oops, I meant Palestine)
I heard of another terorist attack in Iraq this afternoon while driving home. It was in a place that is located some sixty-five miles south of Baghdad, killing fifteen, I believe, and wounding over fifty others. The attack took place in a market, while people were buying vegetables for dinner. I felt enraged inside, to the point where I wanted to grab my hunting rifle when I got home, fly to Iraq, and go terrorist hunting...just for fun.
I'm serious. I am so sick of idiotic fools killing innocent people all in the name of some goofy religious idea, or claiming Jihad or a christian holy writ to murder masses of innocent people all for some vague purpose that no one has ever accomplished even once, so far as I know.
What is the freaking reason again? Oh yeah, Sunnis killing Shiites because Shiites don't wash their hands before dinner or something. (yes, I admit, I truly do not understand the various nuances amongst Islamic sects, for that matter, I don't even understand the various nuances between Christian, hindu, buddhist, and Hari Krishna sects, either)
So I had an idea. Why not kill terrorists for a reason everyone can understand?
WHY NOT KILL THEM JUST FOR FUN?
I am certain that in his sick, twisted mind, that is a reason Osama Bin Laden could relate to. In fact, he'd probably respect us for it.
Okay, so maybe that is a bit too much...I mean after all, what would my brothers and sisters in Christ say if they knew I wanted to kill terrorists for fun? Would it even be fun?
The truth is, it wouldn't. It would be the saddest thing I could think of doing, but in my frustration, I write these things that I think of, and I am just going to be too stubborn to delete them. Think of me what you will. Or maybe you have harbored some of the same thoughts, and are just too image conscious to speak them out loud?
I hate it when innocent people are killed for no reason. And I'm not sorry for calling crusades and religious temper tantrums "no reason". Deal with it. It isn't a reason, to kill or maim someone you don't know for a cause that uses God as the reason. It's no reason at all. Truth is, about the only thing you can call it is cowardice. And speaking of cowardice, if Osama Bin Laden were a man at all, he'd come out of hiding, instead of squirelling himself away for safety's sake and sending other young men and women to die in his so deserved place. Get some balls, Osama!
I hate it when people who can't defend themselves are picked on, hurt, or killed. I always have. Some people will say "yeah, I hate that", and will agree with me. But you need to to understand what I mean when I say "hate". I mean, I get livid, can't- see- straight, so- angry- that -I -could- crush-concrete -in my -bare- hands- mad! My stomach turns, my head becomes pressurized, and I feel myself start to burn with fever when I see or hear someone who cannot defend themselves being picked on. I hate it! I absolutley, totally, and in all other ways, HATE IT!
I want someone to tell me that terrorists are achiving a worthy goal, or that they have achieved ANY goal at all. Because otherwise, all I see is a bunch of innocent people dying or being hurt by a bunch of temper-tantrum-throwing stupid bullies. And do you know what I want to do to these bullies? Do you want to know? Good God, I don't even know if I want to know that I could be so cruel and self- justifying.
Someone please tell me that the reason terrorists keep terrorizing is because their reign of terror is absolutely effective, and is achieving their every goal. Someone please tell me that everything they have done in the name of some god or some "cause" has ultimately fulfilled every one of their goals. I have searched and searched, first my memory, and then history, and then newspaper archives. I have yet to find even one instance where a terrorist attack, or a series of attacks achieved anything except to kill a bunch of people.
If that is all that is being accomplished, then I think it's time to stop writing or reporting WHY the terrorists kill, and just start reporting the truth.
Here it is.
TERRORISTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY LIKE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE. TERRORISTS KILL AND MAIM THOSE WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE COWARDS THEMSELVES, AND ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT, NOT SEEING THE VALUE OF THE HUMAN LIFE THEY SO WANTONLY DESTROY, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
And there it is. Deny it if you want, if you are a terrorist, but history has proven so far, (and no one has proven otherwise) that terrorism as a means for achieving goals is completely worthless and never, EVER succeeds. Which leaves the only other possible reason for killing innocent people; because you LIKE it.
So killing terrorists for fun, although wrong and not recommended, would at least be speaking in a language that every terrorist everywhere at every time can understand as a good reason. I openly admit that killing terrorists for fun is NOT a good reason, but in my frustration and anger, there are times I would like to try it.
I know there isn't much love in this post. But if you could feel the love I feel that drives me to such anger at the defenseless and innocent being used as pawns in some asshole's game, you might think twice of accusing me of being loveless. It is love for those defenseless innocents that drives me to such an anger. It is love for a child who died, or the bereaved father who cannot understand who could kill a child with a suicide bomb. It is the anticipation of overwhelming grief for those who are robbed of life or their loved ones for goals and reasons that are never, ever accomplished.
It is all so senseless. Except for this...is there anything more pitiful than a suicide bomber who kills no one else but himself? Or maybe is there anything better? Is that what we've come to? That we celebrate the fact that a young man or woman strapped a bomb to themselves because some asshole told them they would be in paradise for doing so, and in the end, they only killed themselves? Do we celebrate that? I mourn it. But I see that they were terrorists, misguided as they were. And maybe, just maybe, the bomb killing only themselves was a blessing. And maybe, just maybe, now that they are with God, they are glad the bomb only killed themselves, too.
6/21/2006
OH COME ON! LAUGH!!
What? No asteroid? No disappearance because of evolution? You mean dinosaurs were just as stupid as me?Looks like excessive drinking could have been a factor too. Just look at the size of those beer bellies!
6/19/2006
FREEDOM FROM
Freedom from the same old thing.
Freedom from worrying about what others think of me.
Freedom from conventional "wisdom", whatever that is. Maybe it's like common sense, which we find more and more isn't so common.
Freedom from HAVING to do anything to EARN God's "blessings", which by the way, is what many mainstream Christians think they have to do. I should know, I came from there.
Freedom from guilt.
Freedom from my past.
Freedom from carrying the betrayals of others around unforgiven.
Freedom from bad blood between us.
Freedom from how I perceive you, and how you perceive me.
Freedom from dragging my daughter through the mud of guilt.
Freedom from having yet another thing weigh on my conscience.
Freedom from hate.
Freedom from rejection.
Freedom from sin.
Freedom from wondering what sin is, and what it isn't.
Freedom from wondering if I have pleased God today.
Freedom from lasting anger.
Freedom from myself, who is currently my worst enemy, especially when he whispers that I am not really free.
Freedom from worrying if what I believe is false.
Freedom from everything that is physical.
Freedom from everything that is within me.
Freedom from everything that is without me.
Freedom from lack of confidence.
Freedom from all I ever feared.
These are a few of my favorite things. They come to me because God has set me free through Jesus Christ. I didn't have to believe right, and I didn't have to act right. He took care of all that for me. That's why I am so free, because it didn't depend on me.
Freedom from worrying about what others think of me.
Freedom from conventional "wisdom", whatever that is. Maybe it's like common sense, which we find more and more isn't so common.
Freedom from HAVING to do anything to EARN God's "blessings", which by the way, is what many mainstream Christians think they have to do. I should know, I came from there.
Freedom from guilt.
Freedom from my past.
Freedom from carrying the betrayals of others around unforgiven.
Freedom from bad blood between us.
Freedom from how I perceive you, and how you perceive me.
Freedom from dragging my daughter through the mud of guilt.
Freedom from having yet another thing weigh on my conscience.
Freedom from hate.
Freedom from rejection.
Freedom from sin.
Freedom from wondering what sin is, and what it isn't.
Freedom from wondering if I have pleased God today.
Freedom from lasting anger.
Freedom from myself, who is currently my worst enemy, especially when he whispers that I am not really free.
Freedom from worrying if what I believe is false.
Freedom from everything that is physical.
Freedom from everything that is within me.
Freedom from everything that is without me.
Freedom from lack of confidence.
Freedom from all I ever feared.
These are a few of my favorite things. They come to me because God has set me free through Jesus Christ. I didn't have to believe right, and I didn't have to act right. He took care of all that for me. That's why I am so free, because it didn't depend on me.
ROLE PLAYER
Monday morning of possibly the longest week yet. Hmmm. Somehow, I don't really feel all that bad about facing it. Loving what I do is part of that. A change of attitude over a long period of time helps as well.
Sometimes life gets busy, and sometimes work is what causes that. This is my part in this world this week, and I think I am going to enjoy playing it. Will you enjoy playing your part as well?
Sometimes life gets busy, and sometimes work is what causes that. This is my part in this world this week, and I think I am going to enjoy playing it. Will you enjoy playing your part as well?
6/12/2006
HUH?
I've been thinking lately, and the conclusion I might be coming to is this; I think I might be considered a Christian Communist.
Whoa!! Communist! Oooooh, that's a bad word.
Well. if the shoe fits....
I was going to describe why I think I might fit that mode, but instead, I think I'll let you have fun with this first, if you are willing.
What I'd like for you to do is to describe just what you think a Christian Communist might be like. Then, I'll share with you my way of thinking, and we'll see how close we came. Okay?
Go.
Whoa!! Communist! Oooooh, that's a bad word.
Well. if the shoe fits....
I was going to describe why I think I might fit that mode, but instead, I think I'll let you have fun with this first, if you are willing.
What I'd like for you to do is to describe just what you think a Christian Communist might be like. Then, I'll share with you my way of thinking, and we'll see how close we came. Okay?
Go.
6/10/2006
WHY?
I touched on this a bit In a comment I left at another fellow's blog, so I thought I'd share it with you.
I have often been told that I think too much. When I was a child, I would drive my mom and dad nuts with one word, asked in the form of a question. "Why?" I would ask.
I would take things apart to see the reason they worked (my littlest brother was far more active in this endeavor than I was, I must say). I would sneak up behind my dad's rototiller to look at all the levers, and see if I could figure out which lever caused the rotors to turn. I would pull plants out of the ground by their roots to see what held them in the ground in the first place. In biology class, no one happier when we got to cut the frog apart to see the inner workings. It was never enough for me to know simply that something worked; I always had to know why it worked, and what caused it.
It may strike you as odd, but deep inside of me, I still want to know how God works, and what caused Him. "Blasphemy" some of you may say, but try as I might, all I can see Father doing when He hears me ask is a little chuckle and a gentle rub on the top of my head. He doesn't seem angry to me.
I want to know why. It drives me.
I often hear people ask me, "Why can't you just enjoy something for what it is. Look at all the 'joy' you are missing because you can't just smell the roses, but you have to take the rose apart and see if you can figure out why it smells the way it does."
I want to ask all of those people, "What makes you think I don't enjoy the rose even more BECAUSE I get to try and figure out why it smells the way it does and how it's all held together?"
Sometimes I still ask people, "Why?" Sometimes I still drive people nuts when I do. I don't mean to drive them nuts; I just want to know why from every possible angle, because really, you can't know something until you know EVERYTHING about it. Or so I thought.
I have learned, at least a little bit, that not everyone needs to know why. That wasn't easy for me, and I still make the mistake from time to time of assuming people DO want to know why.
In fact, now, I want to know why they don't want to know why. Strange, isn't it?
Have a good wekend.
I have often been told that I think too much. When I was a child, I would drive my mom and dad nuts with one word, asked in the form of a question. "Why?" I would ask.
I would take things apart to see the reason they worked (my littlest brother was far more active in this endeavor than I was, I must say). I would sneak up behind my dad's rototiller to look at all the levers, and see if I could figure out which lever caused the rotors to turn. I would pull plants out of the ground by their roots to see what held them in the ground in the first place. In biology class, no one happier when we got to cut the frog apart to see the inner workings. It was never enough for me to know simply that something worked; I always had to know why it worked, and what caused it.
It may strike you as odd, but deep inside of me, I still want to know how God works, and what caused Him. "Blasphemy" some of you may say, but try as I might, all I can see Father doing when He hears me ask is a little chuckle and a gentle rub on the top of my head. He doesn't seem angry to me.
I want to know why. It drives me.
I often hear people ask me, "Why can't you just enjoy something for what it is. Look at all the 'joy' you are missing because you can't just smell the roses, but you have to take the rose apart and see if you can figure out why it smells the way it does."
I want to ask all of those people, "What makes you think I don't enjoy the rose even more BECAUSE I get to try and figure out why it smells the way it does and how it's all held together?"
Sometimes I still ask people, "Why?" Sometimes I still drive people nuts when I do. I don't mean to drive them nuts; I just want to know why from every possible angle, because really, you can't know something until you know EVERYTHING about it. Or so I thought.
I have learned, at least a little bit, that not everyone needs to know why. That wasn't easy for me, and I still make the mistake from time to time of assuming people DO want to know why.
In fact, now, I want to know why they don't want to know why. Strange, isn't it?
Have a good wekend.
6/07/2006
NO DEVIL IN SIGHT
Well, it's the morning after 6/6/06. The devil didn't show up. The end of the world did not happen. So now you know that God doesn't follow the human calender, nor does he pay attention to doomsayers who predict the end of the world at the drop of a hat. A red sky at night does not mean "Harmageddon", nor does a red moon indicate that Jesus is floating somewhere above us, trying to decide the best moment to appear, so as to take us by surprise.
In case you missed it, we are still here.
Hope that's not too much of a letdown for you, but I say, maybe now it's time to live the free life Christ gave to us, rather than waiting for the end of the world to come. Maybe today is the day you realize that there just might be a heck of a lot of time left in your life. Maybe today you'll realize you DO have time enough to accomplish everything you wanted to. Maybe today you'll actually make plans for the future again.
In case you weren't vaguely hoping something would happen to the world during the twenty-four hours of "hell", congratulations; you weren't let down. Now let's move on to the reason we are still here, and in case we haven't figured that reason out, don't worry, we still have time to do so.
But let us learn one lesson. Let us learn that dates and numbers mean nothing to God. He is not bound by our calender; nor is he subject to "signs" lining up in every direction. He remains at work even today, and nothing will stop him. He wasn't worried yesterday, and he wasn't concerned about the "devil worshippers" throwing parties. I am actually pretty sure he loves them, too.
Hug a devil worshipper today, if you can find one. We all need a little love every once in a while. Even those who don't believe in the God that we do. Share the love of Christ; that's what it's there for.
Until the next Doomsday, try to remember that all the time in the world we have is only useful if we finally realize we don't have to wait for the end of the world. It's only useful if we actually use it.
Peace out.
In case you missed it, we are still here.
Hope that's not too much of a letdown for you, but I say, maybe now it's time to live the free life Christ gave to us, rather than waiting for the end of the world to come. Maybe today is the day you realize that there just might be a heck of a lot of time left in your life. Maybe today you'll realize you DO have time enough to accomplish everything you wanted to. Maybe today you'll actually make plans for the future again.
In case you weren't vaguely hoping something would happen to the world during the twenty-four hours of "hell", congratulations; you weren't let down. Now let's move on to the reason we are still here, and in case we haven't figured that reason out, don't worry, we still have time to do so.
But let us learn one lesson. Let us learn that dates and numbers mean nothing to God. He is not bound by our calender; nor is he subject to "signs" lining up in every direction. He remains at work even today, and nothing will stop him. He wasn't worried yesterday, and he wasn't concerned about the "devil worshippers" throwing parties. I am actually pretty sure he loves them, too.
Hug a devil worshipper today, if you can find one. We all need a little love every once in a while. Even those who don't believe in the God that we do. Share the love of Christ; that's what it's there for.
Until the next Doomsday, try to remember that all the time in the world we have is only useful if we finally realize we don't have to wait for the end of the world. It's only useful if we actually use it.
Peace out.
6/05/2006
RESTORING AN OLD DOOR
I am currently working on restoring an eighty -year -old door, which is working on kicking my butt. (believe it or not, as I was reading this first sentence, I realized that I had written "Working on kicking an eighty-year-old", which would have made this post REALLY interesting.
)
The trouble with old doors is that they often have delicate, intricate raised panel designs with applied moldings which are, to say the least, a carver's nightmare. Such is this old door, which serves as the entrance door to an old hospital we are remodeling into an assisted living facility.
Several times today, I let fly four letter outbursts the likes of which hadn't been heard around here in ages. I also threatened to burn the door, more than once. Yet here I am, sore fingers and all, looking forward to another day of scraping, sanding, sanding, and scraping.
I am hoping that the effort will be worth it. I believe it will, and I'll tell you why. This door is, if I am correct, the only original part of the existing hospital to have survived the demolition. Sure, the terazzo floor adjacent to it in the entryway is original, but really, who cares about concrete? I am hoping that one of the ancients, if not many of them, will recognize the door upon entering, and recall fond memories of younger days.
Yes, we could just install one of the new "factory-made" characterless wood-like fiberglass doors at a cost of around seven thousand dollars (this door is huge), but why bother when you can spend eighty-five hours restoring a REAL door with REAL wood casing and trim? Why bother, I ask you? Did I mention that the new doors are characterless?
So that is how I am spending my hours the last few days. The door will be finished soon, and then the new finish will be applied. Even though I complain about restoring it, I do love the actual process, as well as the results.
I guess that's why this door isn't burning yet. I know the door cannot fix itself, and it cannot even choose to be fixed. But I also know that I am more than able to restore it to the way it is supposed to be. There will NEVER be a need for the fire.
)The trouble with old doors is that they often have delicate, intricate raised panel designs with applied moldings which are, to say the least, a carver's nightmare. Such is this old door, which serves as the entrance door to an old hospital we are remodeling into an assisted living facility.
Several times today, I let fly four letter outbursts the likes of which hadn't been heard around here in ages. I also threatened to burn the door, more than once. Yet here I am, sore fingers and all, looking forward to another day of scraping, sanding, sanding, and scraping.
I am hoping that the effort will be worth it. I believe it will, and I'll tell you why. This door is, if I am correct, the only original part of the existing hospital to have survived the demolition. Sure, the terazzo floor adjacent to it in the entryway is original, but really, who cares about concrete? I am hoping that one of the ancients, if not many of them, will recognize the door upon entering, and recall fond memories of younger days.
Yes, we could just install one of the new "factory-made" characterless wood-like fiberglass doors at a cost of around seven thousand dollars (this door is huge), but why bother when you can spend eighty-five hours restoring a REAL door with REAL wood casing and trim? Why bother, I ask you? Did I mention that the new doors are characterless?
So that is how I am spending my hours the last few days. The door will be finished soon, and then the new finish will be applied. Even though I complain about restoring it, I do love the actual process, as well as the results.
I guess that's why this door isn't burning yet. I know the door cannot fix itself, and it cannot even choose to be fixed. But I also know that I am more than able to restore it to the way it is supposed to be. There will NEVER be a need for the fire.
6/04/2006
LEARNING TO WAIT?
A friend of mine told me last week that God was teaching him a lesson, and teaching him how to wait.
In my travels as a "Christian" I have learned that the lesson on "waiting" is a very common one. I have also learned that God is very busily making everyone wait until the very last moment, until that time when he delievers what they have been praying for.
I see two things wrong with this approach to God. The first is, why does God have to single out one request, one moment in time, and one event in order to teach us anything? The second is, what are we asking God to do?
Most often, the whole "patience" thing has to do with money. My friend told me there were many times that he was waiting for God to deliver some work to his business so he could pay his bills and not have to worry anymore. I asked if he really thought he'd stop worrying if God lined up a year's worth of work for him. He said he might, but his brother (who shares the business with him) would not. But his main focus wasn't on the amount of work; rather it focused on the timing of God's answer.
So I asked, "Do you think God is MAKING you wait?"
He answered, "Yes, why else would it be taking so long?"
I guess at this point the only thing I could tell my friend was that I don't think God singles out particular "prayer requests" in order to teach us lessons. I told him what I believed, that God uses all things, not just particular instances which we might have noticed, to help us learn and understand our part in this world. I think our trouble often is that we view God as being as small as we are, in which he can only focus on one single event. Yet I have noticed (when I pay attention) that every event is used to form us and teach us. That God is so big that he doesn't need one single blowout event to get our attention, and that He teaches and loves even when we don't pay attention to what He might be "doing" in our lives.
I don't think God makes us wait. There, I said it. I know at times it SEEMS like He is making us wait, but somehow, I can't picture God as standing in heaven trying to decide if we have learned our "lesson" well enough yet. I think God desires that we would do as He does, remain on the job, steadily moving forward, and trusting His care. I don't think God is "waiting".
So why do so many believers talk about the "lesson" they learned when God made them wait? Why is this such a common theme amongst people? My opinion is that this is caused by the way we were taught to meet God, and pray. My suspicion is that we pray as if God is inanimate, delivering answers to prayer like some sort of PEZ dispenser where all we have to do is say the magic words, and PRESTO, another little purple piece of candy pops out of God's mouth.
My opinion is that books like The Prayer of Jabez (Notice I didn't include a link to Amazon.com, thank God) and others like it do a disservice to the intelligence of believers all over the globe. We are taught to pray for every instance, and I admit that I used to pray for God to grant me a sunny day for my vacation, and light traffic for my travels. How ridiculous is that?How selfish is that?
Waiting is something we are not naturally good at. Yet we wait for nearly everything. Maybe we learn the lesson to wait by paying attention to just how much we actually "wait" in any given day, rather than needing God to deliver a loud event in order to teach us our lesson.
"What is God doing in your life?"
Better have an answer ready for that one. It's becoming a popular question amongst Christians, and the answer had better be long, detailed, and huge.
Currently, I haven't got the foggiest idea what God is doing in my life. But I am pretty sure He isn't making me wait.
In my travels as a "Christian" I have learned that the lesson on "waiting" is a very common one. I have also learned that God is very busily making everyone wait until the very last moment, until that time when he delievers what they have been praying for.
I see two things wrong with this approach to God. The first is, why does God have to single out one request, one moment in time, and one event in order to teach us anything? The second is, what are we asking God to do?
Most often, the whole "patience" thing has to do with money. My friend told me there were many times that he was waiting for God to deliver some work to his business so he could pay his bills and not have to worry anymore. I asked if he really thought he'd stop worrying if God lined up a year's worth of work for him. He said he might, but his brother (who shares the business with him) would not. But his main focus wasn't on the amount of work; rather it focused on the timing of God's answer.
So I asked, "Do you think God is MAKING you wait?"
He answered, "Yes, why else would it be taking so long?"
I guess at this point the only thing I could tell my friend was that I don't think God singles out particular "prayer requests" in order to teach us lessons. I told him what I believed, that God uses all things, not just particular instances which we might have noticed, to help us learn and understand our part in this world. I think our trouble often is that we view God as being as small as we are, in which he can only focus on one single event. Yet I have noticed (when I pay attention) that every event is used to form us and teach us. That God is so big that he doesn't need one single blowout event to get our attention, and that He teaches and loves even when we don't pay attention to what He might be "doing" in our lives.
I don't think God makes us wait. There, I said it. I know at times it SEEMS like He is making us wait, but somehow, I can't picture God as standing in heaven trying to decide if we have learned our "lesson" well enough yet. I think God desires that we would do as He does, remain on the job, steadily moving forward, and trusting His care. I don't think God is "waiting".
So why do so many believers talk about the "lesson" they learned when God made them wait? Why is this such a common theme amongst people? My opinion is that this is caused by the way we were taught to meet God, and pray. My suspicion is that we pray as if God is inanimate, delivering answers to prayer like some sort of PEZ dispenser where all we have to do is say the magic words, and PRESTO, another little purple piece of candy pops out of God's mouth.
My opinion is that books like The Prayer of Jabez (Notice I didn't include a link to Amazon.com, thank God) and others like it do a disservice to the intelligence of believers all over the globe. We are taught to pray for every instance, and I admit that I used to pray for God to grant me a sunny day for my vacation, and light traffic for my travels. How ridiculous is that?How selfish is that?
Waiting is something we are not naturally good at. Yet we wait for nearly everything. Maybe we learn the lesson to wait by paying attention to just how much we actually "wait" in any given day, rather than needing God to deliver a loud event in order to teach us our lesson.
"What is God doing in your life?"
Better have an answer ready for that one. It's becoming a popular question amongst Christians, and the answer had better be long, detailed, and huge.
Currently, I haven't got the foggiest idea what God is doing in my life. But I am pretty sure He isn't making me wait.
6/02/2006
DECISIONS, DECISIONS
In light of recent debates I have seen regarding the death penalty in this nation (and in my own state, Wisconsin), I'd like to voice my opinion on the subject.
Let me begin by saying that I do not believe a death penalty serves any purpose other than to kill a convicted person. There are many arguments for or against capital punishment, and some of those arguments state explicitly that the death penalty gives grieving family a sense of closure and justice. I acknowledge that this may be the case, while also stating that it may be more a sEnse of vengeance than justice which many feel. Nevertheless, there are points and counterpoints on both sides of the aisle.
My personal view on capital punishment is that it does not solve any real problems. Feel free to join in and trash that opinion; I don't mind at all.
I will caution you, however, that arguing for or against capital punishment is a useless exercise. The trouble with debates about subjects like capital punishment and abortion is that we meet the issues at the very end of a long cycle of problems and mistakes. I don't know why we do this, but we tend to do it with many moralistic questions.
Take drunk driving, for example. The debate is how strictly to punish first time, second time, and third time offenders, and whether third time offenders should be subject to the "three strikes-you're out" legislation. I believe that the real issue isn't drunk driving, but a cancer much deeper and more sinister, if you will allow for the probability. To find out what the real problem is, shouldn't we go back to the beginning? Most decidely, drunk driving is at the end of a long cycle of problems and mistakes. Punishment for drunk driving is necessary, obviously, but wouldn't our culture be far better served if we began to understand what causes the possibility of drunk driving in the first place?
At the surface, one answer might be "alcohol". But alcohol in itself is not a problem, the person drinking the alcohol, on the other hand, might well be. So what causes a person to not only drink to excess, but then make a "rationalized" decision that he is somehow "okay" to drive?
Do you begin to get the feeling that if our culture was different, things might be different? Do you begin to wonder that if that person's friends were around, they'd take the keys out of his hands (by force if necessary), and help him find a way home? Do you begin to wonder why people feel as though they have no other options than to obviously break the law? Or is it simple laziness? Maybe it is a sense of pulling one over on authority?
Maybe it is all of these things, and more. The pathology of drunk driving is far deeper than decisions made on the evening of the incident. The choices we make are often influenced by events and circumstances which occured long before the choice ever stands before us. The decision to get behind the wheel of a car after drinking to excess, in essence, isn't a problem which involves alcohol. That decision is only there because the person is led to that point by means, choices, and circumstances throughout his day, week, month, year, and life.
To change a growing problem such as drunk driving, or to address the issues of abortion and capital punishment, one must start much younger than the age of twenty-one, because at the age of twenty-one, it is almost too late. One must solve the problems of his culture beginning with himself, and then, teaching each successive generation what has been learned at the earliest age possible.
Currently, our culture does some of that well, especially with illegal drugs. We also teach reading, writing, and arithmetic well. All of these seem to be necessary for the proper educational development of a human being. But we also seem to lack a basic understanding that what we learn at a young age affects us for the rest of our lives. It affects us, and everyone around us. Everything we see, say, hear, and learn forms our reaction to circumstances around us, and the choices we make are often choices we learned far earlier than the moment of decision.
In the end, I am trying to live simply by the ideal of loving my neighbor as if my neighbor is me. I find that when I do, my neighbor comes to no harm through my actions and words. I don't know if I can do more, but today, I'll do what I can.
Trying to solve issues like abortion and capital punishment through debate is pointless. It can't be done. The solution is required long before the decision is ever in front of us. Debating such topics is like trying to put icing on a cake that has already been eaten. That's my two cents.
Let me begin by saying that I do not believe a death penalty serves any purpose other than to kill a convicted person. There are many arguments for or against capital punishment, and some of those arguments state explicitly that the death penalty gives grieving family a sense of closure and justice. I acknowledge that this may be the case, while also stating that it may be more a sEnse of vengeance than justice which many feel. Nevertheless, there are points and counterpoints on both sides of the aisle.
My personal view on capital punishment is that it does not solve any real problems. Feel free to join in and trash that opinion; I don't mind at all.
I will caution you, however, that arguing for or against capital punishment is a useless exercise. The trouble with debates about subjects like capital punishment and abortion is that we meet the issues at the very end of a long cycle of problems and mistakes. I don't know why we do this, but we tend to do it with many moralistic questions.
Take drunk driving, for example. The debate is how strictly to punish first time, second time, and third time offenders, and whether third time offenders should be subject to the "three strikes-you're out" legislation. I believe that the real issue isn't drunk driving, but a cancer much deeper and more sinister, if you will allow for the probability. To find out what the real problem is, shouldn't we go back to the beginning? Most decidely, drunk driving is at the end of a long cycle of problems and mistakes. Punishment for drunk driving is necessary, obviously, but wouldn't our culture be far better served if we began to understand what causes the possibility of drunk driving in the first place?
At the surface, one answer might be "alcohol". But alcohol in itself is not a problem, the person drinking the alcohol, on the other hand, might well be. So what causes a person to not only drink to excess, but then make a "rationalized" decision that he is somehow "okay" to drive?
Do you begin to get the feeling that if our culture was different, things might be different? Do you begin to wonder that if that person's friends were around, they'd take the keys out of his hands (by force if necessary), and help him find a way home? Do you begin to wonder why people feel as though they have no other options than to obviously break the law? Or is it simple laziness? Maybe it is a sense of pulling one over on authority?
Maybe it is all of these things, and more. The pathology of drunk driving is far deeper than decisions made on the evening of the incident. The choices we make are often influenced by events and circumstances which occured long before the choice ever stands before us. The decision to get behind the wheel of a car after drinking to excess, in essence, isn't a problem which involves alcohol. That decision is only there because the person is led to that point by means, choices, and circumstances throughout his day, week, month, year, and life.
To change a growing problem such as drunk driving, or to address the issues of abortion and capital punishment, one must start much younger than the age of twenty-one, because at the age of twenty-one, it is almost too late. One must solve the problems of his culture beginning with himself, and then, teaching each successive generation what has been learned at the earliest age possible.
Currently, our culture does some of that well, especially with illegal drugs. We also teach reading, writing, and arithmetic well. All of these seem to be necessary for the proper educational development of a human being. But we also seem to lack a basic understanding that what we learn at a young age affects us for the rest of our lives. It affects us, and everyone around us. Everything we see, say, hear, and learn forms our reaction to circumstances around us, and the choices we make are often choices we learned far earlier than the moment of decision.
In the end, I am trying to live simply by the ideal of loving my neighbor as if my neighbor is me. I find that when I do, my neighbor comes to no harm through my actions and words. I don't know if I can do more, but today, I'll do what I can.
Trying to solve issues like abortion and capital punishment through debate is pointless. It can't be done. The solution is required long before the decision is ever in front of us. Debating such topics is like trying to put icing on a cake that has already been eaten. That's my two cents.
5/29/2006
A PERFECT AMERICA
I left this post as a comment over at Eddie and Eddie's blog, Edge of Faith (End of Faith?) Go check the post out and say hi. Eddie F asked us what our perfect America would look like. This was my answer. I had to shorten it a bit, because I could go on forever if left unchecked, and that truly would not fit in a perfect America. :)
What would my perfect America look like? A lot like my perfect world.
Very little like the way James Dobson and his cronies would have things.
To start, abolish the congress and senate as it stands, return real power to the people's hands in the form of the ability to vote on every (and I mean every!) issue including constitutional reform, with a jury of my peers selected every two years to listen to the masses and write legislation according to the masses (not according to the PAC who has the most money or the best lawyers). Eliminate re-election. Increase public awareness and knowledge of local, national, and international issues, increase the ability of the people to understand national and global decision-making and its effects broadly.
Second, a perfect America would begin to shed from itself its reliance upon instant satisfaction and entitlement. That would be replaced by a sincere community movement...you know, where people actually care about their neighbor rather than just use the words as lip service. Seriously, America is the land of shimmering projected images, where what we say and show to the world in the form of "looking good and right" is far more important than actually being good and right. A place where people love their children and teach them to respect all other people, regardless of race, creed, or past. A true place of mercy and compassion, where the actual abundance of provision this world already holds is shared without a few powerful white men giving us rotten and idiotic reasons why it can't be done. A place where we no longer make excuses for why we didn't, don't, or won't do something, and instead, focus our energy on finding ways to make what was once thought to be impossible into a true reality for all people; NO MORE POVERTY AND STARVING CHILDREN BECAUSE MEN COVET TO STORE UP USELESS TREASURES FOR THEMSELVES!
How about an actual awareness in everyone that everyone else has feelings, thoughts, dreams, hopes, and a right to exist? How about no more gay bashing, secular classing systems, and political postering against what is right? How about a classless system where factory workers aren't looked down upon as uneducated and therefore dense? How about the intellectuals of this world getting out of their white coats and labs and actually seeing realistic daylight like the rest of us; where they can see that what works in the lab often doesn't work out here in the real world? How about no more excuses? How about people taking responsibility for their own actions? How about no more silly class action lawsuits enriching no one but lawyers?
John Lennon's imagine? Yeah, you bet; and a whole lot further. A perfect America would learn that compassion and love trump every other desire or want. A perfect America would learn that television, electronics, quick fixes, and drugs aren't needs. We would learn that entertainment is a past time, something you do when you have nothing else left to do. We would learn to help children find the things they love to do, we would help children discover where they are gifted and we would help every child make a career out of that love, so that every child would grow up knowing they can truly love what they do for a profession, rather than herding nearly every child into professions based solely on their abililty to earn money. This nation, and this world is ass-backwards in that respect. How many people love their jobs? I mean truly love them? Not many. A perfect America would be a place where everyone would love their jobs, because they found out at an early age what makes them really tick, and they followed that path through.
How about no more ENRONS? How about an America that isn't dependant upon fossil fuels? How about an America that realizes there are actually people living outside of its borders? How about an America that loves its own, and welcomes all others with ways to help them get started here and abroad. How about a global realization that what we do efects someone somewhere else, and sometime else?
How about an America that is not shallow and easily placated by gimmicks and devices? How about an America that doesn't NEED a vactation?
My grandfather didn't need a vacation ...why do I need one? Why do you? Why do we HAVE to get away from reality, when we barely live in it already?
Why do we need holiday pay when we don't work on a holiday? Why does the Vice president of vice presidents for marketing and research need six million dollars per year and stock options worth nearly ten times that much? Why does the president need a detail of Secret Service men after he is no longer president? Why doesn't everyone need a secret service detail?
In the end, a perfect America easily overcomes its past shortcomings because for the first time in the history of man, people stop being selfish and start thinking of others. For the first time, it actually becomes important for us to make sure everyone is fed, and so important to us that we don't go to bed without making sure the job is done.
The age of "enlightenment" and rationalization has not any better track record with regards to the overall welfare of the masses than does any religion in its day. If anything, rational thought has only produced a deeper disdain for people of differences, and a deeper glut and greed and desire for more than the world has ever seen. People still starve, people still go homeless, and people still live hopelessly. All this after over one hundred and thirty years of "rational" thought. That's easily six generations of Americans...more than enough time to test whether rational thought is on to something, or just another religion designed to make money.
A perfect America would be a place where possessions aren't personal, and people share what this world gives freely; a place where capitalism and money aren't necessary any longer, because a true community of people exists, a community where all are equal and all have equally.
This, of course, will never happen in this world in my time. So long as money and power (and lets face it, money IS power)are controlled by the few, the many will suffer the indignation of being lesser human beings. Neither religion nor rational thought is going to solve that. Only the realization that it doesn't hurt to share will begin to solve that problem. Currently, in this world, no mater where you go, it hurts to share...that's why people hoard.
What would my perfect America look like? A lot like my perfect world.
Very little like the way James Dobson and his cronies would have things.
To start, abolish the congress and senate as it stands, return real power to the people's hands in the form of the ability to vote on every (and I mean every!) issue including constitutional reform, with a jury of my peers selected every two years to listen to the masses and write legislation according to the masses (not according to the PAC who has the most money or the best lawyers). Eliminate re-election. Increase public awareness and knowledge of local, national, and international issues, increase the ability of the people to understand national and global decision-making and its effects broadly.
Second, a perfect America would begin to shed from itself its reliance upon instant satisfaction and entitlement. That would be replaced by a sincere community movement...you know, where people actually care about their neighbor rather than just use the words as lip service. Seriously, America is the land of shimmering projected images, where what we say and show to the world in the form of "looking good and right" is far more important than actually being good and right. A place where people love their children and teach them to respect all other people, regardless of race, creed, or past. A true place of mercy and compassion, where the actual abundance of provision this world already holds is shared without a few powerful white men giving us rotten and idiotic reasons why it can't be done. A place where we no longer make excuses for why we didn't, don't, or won't do something, and instead, focus our energy on finding ways to make what was once thought to be impossible into a true reality for all people; NO MORE POVERTY AND STARVING CHILDREN BECAUSE MEN COVET TO STORE UP USELESS TREASURES FOR THEMSELVES!
How about an actual awareness in everyone that everyone else has feelings, thoughts, dreams, hopes, and a right to exist? How about no more gay bashing, secular classing systems, and political postering against what is right? How about a classless system where factory workers aren't looked down upon as uneducated and therefore dense? How about the intellectuals of this world getting out of their white coats and labs and actually seeing realistic daylight like the rest of us; where they can see that what works in the lab often doesn't work out here in the real world? How about no more excuses? How about people taking responsibility for their own actions? How about no more silly class action lawsuits enriching no one but lawyers?
John Lennon's imagine? Yeah, you bet; and a whole lot further. A perfect America would learn that compassion and love trump every other desire or want. A perfect America would learn that television, electronics, quick fixes, and drugs aren't needs. We would learn that entertainment is a past time, something you do when you have nothing else left to do. We would learn to help children find the things they love to do, we would help children discover where they are gifted and we would help every child make a career out of that love, so that every child would grow up knowing they can truly love what they do for a profession, rather than herding nearly every child into professions based solely on their abililty to earn money. This nation, and this world is ass-backwards in that respect. How many people love their jobs? I mean truly love them? Not many. A perfect America would be a place where everyone would love their jobs, because they found out at an early age what makes them really tick, and they followed that path through.
How about no more ENRONS? How about an America that isn't dependant upon fossil fuels? How about an America that realizes there are actually people living outside of its borders? How about an America that loves its own, and welcomes all others with ways to help them get started here and abroad. How about a global realization that what we do efects someone somewhere else, and sometime else?
How about an America that is not shallow and easily placated by gimmicks and devices? How about an America that doesn't NEED a vactation?
My grandfather didn't need a vacation ...why do I need one? Why do you? Why do we HAVE to get away from reality, when we barely live in it already?
Why do we need holiday pay when we don't work on a holiday? Why does the Vice president of vice presidents for marketing and research need six million dollars per year and stock options worth nearly ten times that much? Why does the president need a detail of Secret Service men after he is no longer president? Why doesn't everyone need a secret service detail?
In the end, a perfect America easily overcomes its past shortcomings because for the first time in the history of man, people stop being selfish and start thinking of others. For the first time, it actually becomes important for us to make sure everyone is fed, and so important to us that we don't go to bed without making sure the job is done.
The age of "enlightenment" and rationalization has not any better track record with regards to the overall welfare of the masses than does any religion in its day. If anything, rational thought has only produced a deeper disdain for people of differences, and a deeper glut and greed and desire for more than the world has ever seen. People still starve, people still go homeless, and people still live hopelessly. All this after over one hundred and thirty years of "rational" thought. That's easily six generations of Americans...more than enough time to test whether rational thought is on to something, or just another religion designed to make money.
A perfect America would be a place where possessions aren't personal, and people share what this world gives freely; a place where capitalism and money aren't necessary any longer, because a true community of people exists, a community where all are equal and all have equally.
This, of course, will never happen in this world in my time. So long as money and power (and lets face it, money IS power)are controlled by the few, the many will suffer the indignation of being lesser human beings. Neither religion nor rational thought is going to solve that. Only the realization that it doesn't hurt to share will begin to solve that problem. Currently, in this world, no mater where you go, it hurts to share...that's why people hoard.
5/25/2006
Hello
My name is Tom Reindl, and I am a Blog Avoider.
Actually, I haven't been avoiding my blog and other blogs, I just haven't made blogging a priority lately. Life is full right now, and making room to write semi-publicly just isn't at the top of the list. I am sure that at some point, I will be back to writing nearly every day as I used to, and getting the chance to visit everyone else's blogs. Maybe that day will be today; who knows?
Can you tell what's going to happen next? Can anyone predict it with any accuracy? Can we control what's going to happen next?
Interestingly enough, there is a point to those questions. When I build something, I know how it is going to work. I design the tasks and the functions into the piece or the building that I make. I even design the beauty. Nothing (as best as an imperfect human can accomplish) is left to chance, no screw is left unturned. I know how my work will operate in almost every given circumstance. I can tell the future with what I make, as best as any human can, so limited we are in our perfection.
Is it any wonder then that God knows us so well? He who is perfect, He who made us; is there anything about us that would surprise Him? He knows our answers, He knows our questions. If I, a simple carpenter, know my work nearly perfectly, how much more does our heavenly Father knows everything about us?
You cannot surprise your maker.
Actually, I haven't been avoiding my blog and other blogs, I just haven't made blogging a priority lately. Life is full right now, and making room to write semi-publicly just isn't at the top of the list. I am sure that at some point, I will be back to writing nearly every day as I used to, and getting the chance to visit everyone else's blogs. Maybe that day will be today; who knows?
Can you tell what's going to happen next? Can anyone predict it with any accuracy? Can we control what's going to happen next?
Interestingly enough, there is a point to those questions. When I build something, I know how it is going to work. I design the tasks and the functions into the piece or the building that I make. I even design the beauty. Nothing (as best as an imperfect human can accomplish) is left to chance, no screw is left unturned. I know how my work will operate in almost every given circumstance. I can tell the future with what I make, as best as any human can, so limited we are in our perfection.
Is it any wonder then that God knows us so well? He who is perfect, He who made us; is there anything about us that would surprise Him? He knows our answers, He knows our questions. If I, a simple carpenter, know my work nearly perfectly, how much more does our heavenly Father knows everything about us?
You cannot surprise your maker.
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