WALKING

I am wondering about what I have been writing lately. For that matter, I am wondering about what most Christian bloggers have been writing about. Further that, I am wondering what most Christian authors, including the well known ones, have been writing about.

Is it just me, or do we all want to be experts at “knowledge”? Strike that. I don’t necessarily want to be an expert. I just naturally default to that position, as if “I know”, know what I mean?

A thought occurred to me yesterday as I was driving my new-used truck. I wondered how we can seem to know so much about God, and our faith, and yet how we seem to have little or none of the power that comes with the Kingdom. And so I brought that thought up when I was in silence with Abba. Here’s what we came up.

I will talk in the first person, because really, I shouldn’t speak for you all.

I am far more interested in knowledge than I am in practical living. By “practical living”, I mean, as far as a believer goes, I am an infant. Yet I want to discuss the deeper “truths” of our faith as if I have been, or am a mature follower of Christ, which I am not. I go so far with this as to disdain real love so that I can talk about love instead.

There is one statement Paul made once which sticks in my mind. He said, “The Kingdom of God does not consist of words, but of power.” The Kingdom I have lived in mostly consists of words, and I suspect that in some measure, it will always consist of a few words, for I am a man who loves to write and think.

I don’t think God hates me because I talk about the deeper things of Christ. But I do think He has a better plan for me than to keep me here, where I do not understand even the most basic truths about God. If there is one thing I do know, it is that God is a God of action, and I believe He would use me and this big body He gave me for something, rather than have me sit around and talk about doing something.

My problem isn’t words, rather, it is that I have little experience about what I am talking. I would suspect this is true for just about every Christian blogger, and just about every Christian author; yes, even the well known ones.

I say this not to indict anyone, I just consider it to be the truth. Have you ever written a book? I have, even though it was never published. Let me tell you something, it takes TIME to write a book, and some of these well known Christian authors write so many books, that it is very, very hard for me to believe they actually have time left to practice what they preach. In fact, I would say I find it impossible to believe.

What you do with your time is yours to decide, as it is for the well known. But what I do with my time is going to be more than just words. I would rather die than be nothing more than words. I guess you could say this faith in me is moving once again, to a living faith, not just a faith of words without experience.

I may not talk about “doctrines” very much anymore, and even now, I almost regret the talking I have done today about these things. Please do not mistake me, I don’t think it’s “wrong” to do so. But I do wonder, are we substituting experience with words, because words are easier to do?

I have no idea where this life is taking me. I have no idea how to proceed. But I trust that God does know how, and that makes all the difference to me. A part of me feels almost sad in a way; I feel as though an old friend is dying. Maybe that old friend really was words, and maybe those words I typed, and will type are a friend I leaned on when I didn’t know what else to do, or didn’t want to do anything else.

I don’t know.

I do know that what I have talked about are things I think I know, but I have no way of telling. It is possible that living out this life of faith, and this life of power in the Kingdom of God will help me understand the things I talked about better. But it is also possible that the road I am on will show me I was wrong about a great many things.

This blog will probably become a lot more personal, and that intimate portrait of Jesus I was painting will probably become just as personal as well. I think God would have me be honest, and that I would walk and not run, especially since this road is so new to me.

But I will say this, freedom isn’t what we have been led to believe it is. It isn’t the right to do anything we want anytime anywhere, or even the right to do nothing. It’s something far more than that. I am setting out to discover what God will reveal about that, and a whole bunch else, too.

Care to come with?