My last post discussed my efforts to make this flesh my slave. One statement I made specifically had someone worried. I aim to put those worries to rest with this post.
The statement in question was this.
“It’s not even about God, as far as I can tell,”
In the body of my post, I finished that sentence off by saying, “although the knowledge that I am both free, and able to do this comes from Him”.
At times, some of the things I say may surprise you. At other times, the things I say may outrightly offend you. Please know now that you have the right, here on this blog, to let me know if I have offended you.
Having said that, I will always make an attempt to ease your concerns, and to alleviate the offense. Nevertheless, I say what I say for a reason, and I can’t, and I won’t write in order to not offend anyone.
Now, let me help assuage the fear.
Of all my goals with this blog, honesty is near the top of the list. The very top goal is to welcome and encourage people in such a way that they feel like this is also their personal space, that they feel allowed to speak their mind in courtesy, and feel a part of an electric community.
Honesty plays second fiddle only because to me, honesty is a way of life. Not just in words, but in deed also. I have my failings in this area, and I know that. But I try my best to portray my heart in an honest way on this blog.
Sometimes, that honesty will come across as selfishness. For example, when I say this blog is about me, it is the truth. I won’t lie, and pretend that this is about God. But I do say that this blog is about how God moves me, and how He has worked in my life. I don’t claim that this is enough credit for God.
I am walking, not running. Sometimes I crawl, and sometimes I get stuck in the filthiest mud you could ever find. For me to say my life is all about God would be an outright lie, and I won’t do it. It’s not that I want it to be about me. I truly do want it to be about God. But I’m not there yet. Not in heart, not in mind, and not in the flesh.
If I were to go before God and tell Him this, I believe He would understand. If I were to go before God, and sing the song, “It’s All About You”, He’d recognize the lie instantly. Which should I do?
I believe God would rather I was honest, not just before Him, but before you as well. I am no example to follow, and hopefully, you have received that message strongly here. I will not lie to make myself look good. I will not perpetuate the false image of me being someone I am not.
I will live my life as best I can, writing about it from time to time, and some of it may be offensive, and some of it may cause you to worry. But this I know, my life, my whole life belongs to Jesus. I don’t always act as though it does. Heck, I feel as though I rarely act as though I belong to Jesus. But that doesn’t change the fact that He loves me, and that I love Him.
You see, I would die for Him. Many people say that, and maybe most mean it. I know that I mean it, and it isn’t because I am some Godly person you all need to measure up to. Rather, it’s because I have been face to face with God in my heart, and my heart cries out, “Thank You God for not being like me!” It is a cry of hope, a cry of love, and a cry of victory, because my heart knows that no matter what happens from here on out, nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. Not even death.
Since that is the case, I can suffer for a little while what once seemed so scary for me. I can look forward to dying for His name, if that be how I end here, and not fear. And this all has happened because God has brought me to a point of honesty with Him, nearly the tip of a pin, and there is no room on that tip for anything but the truth. I will not fall in Spirit, because I am held by Truth.
Please don’t worry about me. What I said was honesty, and I believe God would have me be honest before He would have anything else.