When I started to blog, I thought I was only going to write. Honestly, that’s all I do, but “blogging” has been so much more than writing.
I can write what I want, as this is my space, but in my heart, I believe that this is your space, too. Why do I say that?
I think it has something to do with reading all of your wonderful, thoughtful comments, and desiring to know more about you guys. I guess this is the closest thing to an E-community I am going to be a part of, although several other bloggers have made me feel a part of their community as well.
Pondering this further, I find that this blog itself is maybe just a house, with a really screwed up person living inside of it, and that this house belongs to a community of bloggers, each with their own house. And you all have made me feel like I fit here.
Now why would that be so important to me? There is a simple reason for this, and it lies in the fact that I feel sometimes very alone, even knowing Jesus is with me all of the time. That’s right, that voice, that presence is still there, all of the time. I am not saying He is not enough. I am saying He has brought me more.
“And if that were not enough, would I not have given you even more?” God said that to David.
The point of all this is that although I go to church, and meet once a week with my best friend, it’s not enough. I want more. Maybe a better way to say it is, “I desire more”. On a normal day, before I blogged, I had no one to talk with about my love for God. No one.
I was alone with my thoughts, and though I spoke with Jesus about it, still, I longed to share what I had with others. I could almost be labeled as an ingrate, were it not for the fact that this desire for conversation with believers is a desire that God longs to fulfill for each of us.
This blog is it, right now. My daughter is toO young yet to have a deep conversation about God. Brett, my best friend, has his family, and my other friends are all married, and have their families. I am the odd man out.
I am alright with being alone. What I am not alright with is being without brothers and sisters surrounding me, and me surrounding them. That ought never to be, for anyone. This world is still a rough place, despite what Jesus did on the cross. There is more pain for each of us coming, of that we are assured. But a long coast line weathers the stormy waves much more effectively than a small island can. And my long coastline is you guys.
You help keep me sane. You give me a reason to write, and a large part of my heart has opened because of you. This blog isn’t about God, and He knows that. It was about me, and I had so longed to make it about God. Now I know it is about you, and me, and the way God works in our lives. I desire nothing more than to share that with you all.
Thank you all, and I love you.
I love you, too, God.
Ps: A very wise lady told me today that an aggregator for misfits should be started. That would be the aggregator I would want to be a part of. Thanks dear sister, you know who you are.