I need to write something fun tonight. Too much thinking lately has made me all crabby, and I’m sick of being crabby. Thinking about work, my business, and then writing “serious” posts can all lend itself to a lifeless life, if you know what I mean. So tonight, I am going to write some more Hans und Frans, if you don’t mind.

Hans: Ya, you better not mind, or we will flex our huge muscles, und crush you like so much aluminum foil.

Frans: Ya, und we will wrap up your flabbulence all around you, und put you under a Christmas tree, but you will not be a gift anyone will want to open!

Hans: Ya!! So you better let Tom write about us!! Besides, what more interesting topic could there be than Hans und Frans?

Frans: Ya!! We are huge!!

Hans: Ya, und all you puny little Christians who think they work out every day could only HOPE to look like us!

Frans: Ya!! You could only hope!!

Hans: Ya!! You can’t get thirty- eight inch biceps by going to the YMCA!!

Frans: Ya!! Und you can’t look like the Michelin tire man by just wishing!!

Hans: Ya!! So if you want to be like us, then you better start working out with real weights, like we do!!

Frans: Ya!! Und don’t worry about how you look when you are pumping up!!

Hans: Ya!! Because hear me now, und think about it later, but whatever you do, hear me now!!

Frans: Ya!! Hear Hans now!!

Hans: Ya!! Pumping up isn’t about how you look while you are pumping up.

Frans: Ya!! Pumping up is about how you look after you pumped up!!

Hans: Ya Frans!! Und how do you look after you pumped up?

Frans: Ach!! Of course!! You looked pumped up!!

Hans: Ya!! So pump like us, to look PUMPED LIKE US!!

Frans: Ya, und you better be praying about it, too.
Hans: Ya!! Because if you don’t pray, there is no way you will ever look like us!!

Frans: Ya!! Und who wouldn’t want to look like us?

Hans: Ya!! We are huge!!

Frans: Ya!! If you don’t want to look like us, then you are nothing but a girly-man!!

Hans: Ya!! A girly man that wears tights to the gym!!

Frans: Ya, und a girly-man that looks better in make up than in muscle shirts!!

Hans: Ya!! So get pumping.

Frans: Ya!! Hey Hans!!

Hans: Ya Frans?!

Frans: Ya!! Do you think we should tell them about Jesus again?

Hans: Ya!! Hey, girly-men!! Do you know Jesus, like WE know Jesus?

Frans: Ya!! Because if you don’t, then you are just a girly-Christian, who doesn’t know anything at all!!

Hans: Ya!! Because we are huge!!

Frans: Ya!! For God so loved the world, that He gave us Jesus, und one other very huge thing. Tell them Hans. Tell the little girly-Christians what God gave us!

Hans: Ya!! God so loved Hans und Frans that He gave us muscles like you only wished you had!!

Frans: Ya!! Und you might think we are arrogant, but if you had muscles like us, you’d be arrogant too!!

Hans: Ya!! Besides, who is going to have the guts to call us arrogant when they see us flex?

Frans: Ya!! Only a fool would call us arrogant after they had seen us flex!!

Hans: Ya!! Hear me now. If ever you have seen us flex, you will never want to see us do it again!!

Frans: Ya!! Because we are huge. We have to go now!

Hans: Ya, but before we go, make sure you buy our latest exercise and counseling tape, called “How To Build Muscles, So You Can Influence People!”

Frans: Ya!! Twenty-nine- ninety- nine!! Buy it!! Do it now!!

Hans: Ya!! Otherwise we will visit you, und take you to a very warm place!!

Frans: Ya!! So goodbye!!

Hans: Ya!! Goodbye!!

Thanks fellas. Last night, My best friend Brett and I played a game of basketball against my daughter, Ally, and his daughter, Amber. We employed the “flex” defense, which basically means every time they shot the ball, we flexed our muscles. You should have seen the laughs. Good night. : D

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