TO ALLY AND CRYSTAL

This post is dedicated (sort of) to two people. The first is my daughter, and the second person is Crystal, who left a comment regarding yesterday’s post. I started responding to her in the comments section, but a brief conversation I had with my daughter earlier in the day crossed my mind, and I thought it might benefit more than just Crystal. I hope you don’t mind Crys.

After reading Crystal’s comment, I felt saddened a bit, and as I thought about how Crystal was feeling, I turned to my daughter, and asked her if she had trouble sometimes letting go of the things she did wrong. I asked her if she felt like she had to be a certain way in order to be loved, or if she felt she didn’t “measure up” to God’s standard, if that made her feel unworthy.

She sort of said yes ( in a teenager’s way, if you know what I mean), and then I told her, “I think it’s time you and I talked about that.”

The fact is, and I told her this, guilt and feelings of unworthiness can control our lives just as easily as love can. It can get so bad that guilt and unworthiness will take over complete control of us, leaving us feeling constantly unsure, and unloved, or unworthy to be loved. Out of these things will arise anxiety disorders, behavioral disorders, depression, hopelessness, and even to a certain extent, insanity.

I truly believe that in our nation (I cannot speak for Europe or other nations), individualism is a major contributing factor to the multitude of mental disorders in our culture. Did you know that over fifty percent of all adults have been treated for some sort of mental disorder at one time in their lives? Whether it be an anxiety disorder, depression, or another illness, I can’t believe it was always this way. Bluntly, individualism is driving our nation insane. And it sort of fits with what I am talking about here, in that we are often so concerned with the image we present, with what we have, with how much we are loved, or with what we have done wrong that we lose focus on true freedom, which is to love another.

If there is one thing I will tell my daughter, and I will say it now for you as well, God loves you. I can’t tell you how much….I don’t know how much. I don’t think with God, it is measurable. But He loves you, and Peter said it best when he said,

“Be fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

That sentence seems to be a mirror of what God does for us. He is fervent in His love for us, and His love covers our sins.

Sure, there are times I am upset with my daughter, or angry for a moment, but never do I stay angry…I can’t stay angry, it’s impossible to do. Soon after I feel my anger, I find myself wanting to forget what she did, not because she is so great, not just because she does wonderful things. I find myself losing my anger because love covers a multitude of sins (not that she has a multitude, mind you). I don’t cover a multitude of sins; love does. I am drawn to love my daughter, by love. I am drawn to forgive her, to forget the bad, and always, always, always seek that unity in my heart with her. That unity is never missing, it can’t be, because that unity isn’t forged by her deeds or by me, it’s forged by love.

So Ally and Crystal, I pray you remember love, keep fervent in your love for one another, for your friends, for your husband Crys, for your children, for all your one another’s, and love will cover a multitude of sins.

It really isn’t about us, it really isn’t about the things we do. For our sakes, we are loved not for who we are or what we do, but just because we exist. I cannot love a daughter I do not have. If my daughter never existed, I couldn’t have loved her, but now, because she does exist, I love her just because.

Peter tells us also to remember that calling, and God’s choosing of us. He encourages us to remember that. He does not encourage us to remember what we do wrong, or that God saw it all.

Feelings of unworthiness may abound for you. I am here to encourage you beyond that, if I have a purpose at all.