NO DOUBT

“Tom, although I want my life to be a reflection of God's goodness the truth is that often I find, like Paul, that what I would do I don't and what I wouldn't do I do. In other words my flesh still sometimes does it's thing in spite of my desire to live a life that glorifies God. But I have realized that by admitting my shortcomings, accepting them as unavoidable humanity, and trusting Father to always love me and see me as acceptable in His sight, because of Jesus, that I can be at peace even when I fail. That hasn't been easy for me. I've struggled a lot with poor self image issues. But just knowing that Father always loves me, even, if He must forgive me 7 x 70 a day, and that I am safe in Him, apart from what I do, is causing me to love Him, and others and even myself more. Just my 2 cents bro. Love ya”

Steve from Tableservers left this comment at my last post (Abstain From Every Form Of Evil), and I wanted to be sure and share it with you all because I doubt I could have said it better than this.

Bruce over at YBMT often talks about doubt and fear being relationship stoppers, and again, I agree. These guys are honest about their walk, and gentle with those who disagree with them. As Bruce has also mentioned on his blog, we don’t always agree on every issue, but I think when it comes to it, we agree on love.

For me, this walk with Christ has never been about fear and doubt. I am learning that I am very blessed to have been removed early from that fear and doubt that gets in the way of a sound relationship with Abba. I mentioned in a comment recently that before I knew Yeshua, I had all the fear and doubt I could stand. Since I have known Him, I have not felt it, at least not where it concerns God’s love for me. That one issue has been settled for me for about six years now.

But I do have doubts. What are those doubts? They always revolve around me. Am I smart enough? Am I good enough to do this project? Do I know enough? Am I rude? Am I arrogant? Can I work well with others (honestly, if you only knew how much I doubt that about me, as nearly every early report card I received had the mark “Does not work and play well with others” on it).

As you can see, I have lots of doubts. But as Steve said so well, “trusting Father to always love me and see me as acceptable in His sight, because of Jesus, that I can be at peace even when I fail”. To me, having this love in my life for the last six years has been the one thing that has kept me alive.

I lost nearly everything five years ago: wife, job, daughter half of the time, house, cars, respect for myself, pride, and position. At a time in my life when I was supposed to be building upon the foundation I had laid, and building a mansion I might add, I was broken in half. If not for the absolute certainty of God’s love for, and redemption of me, I would have ended my life long ago.

So I find myself in a place that many believers have not yet been. And the funny thing is, I was there immediately. Maybe it was the fact that I was broken completely that led me to trust in God so much so that even to give the energy to draw my next breath took incredible amounts of faith in God. And not that this faith was my own, I am very, very well aware of my memories of that time, and I know that a Hand not my own was holding me up.

To remember these things sometimes brings tears to my eyes, recalling the rivers of tears I cried, and the shame of having lost my wife to another man. But this “experience” I have because of that time is priceless. I have something that many followers of Christ do not have; I have actual memories and experiences of leaning on Him completely, with all my weight. And never once did He let me down. I had nothing, I lost everything, and he kept me safe, fed, secure, and yes, at times filled with joy.

Many people have experienced what I have experienced. But I am finding out that for whatever reason, not many people remember it the way I do. There is only one explanation; God is with me, and it is His choice that I remember these things, and that I have such peace in His presence.

I am not a good man. I know that. So if you are looking for some reason as to why God would have blessed me so, you won’t find it in me.

But I will say this;, the same God who is so physically alive for me is also physically alive for you. He is not distant to me, He isn’t some spiritual, far off wise guru to me. At times, I attempt to distance myself from Him, but with regards to His part of our relationship, He is Abba. He is so very real! I wish you could spend just five minutes in my mind, ignoring the other garbage in there, and see what I see of God. From what I hear, not many feel that way about Him, that He is so real, so very, very real.

Doubt God? Never. He just never let me doubt Him. If it had been left up to me, I’d doubt His love for me, too. But for some reason, He did not let me doubt. I don’t consider that to mean I am “strong” in faith. In fact, from my warped point of view, I think it means He keeps the very weak especially close, because we doubt so easily.

'ABSTAIN FROM EVERY FORM OF EVIL"

I have been wondering what drives me. In other words, what are my desires? And, is there anything I can do about them?

Paul talked an awful lot about subduing the flesh, of making the flesh his slave, and I wonder, how did he do that, without becoming legalistic? Was it all in his head? Was he a strict ascetic? Was he balanced? Did he sway to one end more than the other?

One thing I do know is that my flesh sometimes desires things that are evil. Other times, it desires things that while not necessarily evil, are certainly not good for me. How does one deal with this? And by the way we deal with this, is our walk with Christ defined? Am I “weak” if I do not subdue my flesh? Am I “strong” if I do?

I am learning lately that maybe it isn’t about me. Not that I didn’t already know that grace isn’t about me, and that this world isn’t about me, but that what I do in this world isn’t about me either. I am learning that I live at the mercy, at the good pleasure, of God. How then could anything I do be possible except by His allowance of me at all?

Try coming to that understanding. It takes time, believe me, and it takes a good sound beating, too. No, I have not beaten my flesh; rather, it is my ego which has been beaten, repeatedly. But then I see Paul say, “abstain from every form of evil”, and I wonder, how is that even possible without “trying”?

I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t possible without trying.

I have come to the conclusion that even though Christ’s work on the cross is complete in its spiritual fullness, that fullness pertaining to our flesh, especially with regards to our place in time, is not complete. In other words, we live in vessels that remain unredeemed. It is only by knowing this that I can read Paul saying, “Abstain from every form of evil”, and know that Paul is not a legalist. And yet I can also read it, and know it is possible for us to do.

Does effort then make us legalists? No more than not making an effort doesn't make us legalists. What make us legalists aren’t our actions, rather, it is our attitude toward our actions that has the capacity to make us a legalist.

I admit, there are times I have thoughts the likes of which I believed were gone a long time ago. Thoughts only a hot blooded man can have. When they appear, I am shocked, dismayed, and left wondering sometimes, “where the hell did that come from?” Of this I can assure you, if I do not make the effort to place that thought in the trash where it belongs, that thought will soon drag me with it, not necessarily kicking or screaming. So how can I abstain from doing what the desire is telling me, if not by effort?

I can pray, I can believe, I can hope, I can think other thoughts, I can do all manner of things. But which one of these things isn’t an active thing? If I believe, isn’t it actually me reminding myself of faith which occurs? Because merely believing didn’t stop that thought, did it? So merely believing isn’t going to destroy that thought either. That thought doesn’t belong to faith, to the Spirit, it belongs to my flesh. If I do not take this thought away from my flesh, and claim it as Christ’s, what will happen?

I will tell you what my experience is, and maybe yours is similar, and maybe not. My experience is that if I do not take this thought and subdue it, this thought will in turn take me, and subdue me. Either way, SOMETHING has to happen.

So if I make an effort to abstain from lusts and desires and from evil, what does that make me? Am I a follower of Christ? Or am I under Law? How can I be under law just because I react to something which isn’t good? Is a reaction a law? After all, SOME reaction WILL occur. I will either follow the lust or desire, or I will not. How can not following the desire make someone a legalist?

In fact, isn’t this the very premise under which Paul can say “Abstain from every form of evil” and still not be legalistic? I know this, abstaining is a verb, an action formed from a reaction to a desire.

I think it’s best then for me not even to worry about whether doing something is legalism, or placing myself under the law again, because the fact is, I HAVE to react in some way. Even “ignoring” the desire is a reaction. There is never a time when we are just “being”. We are always reacting to something. So then, it isn’t our reactions that make us under law or not. Rather, it is our attitude towards our reaction that places us in life.

I think this is true. If it is, then “trying” to abstain from evil could never be legalism, for if it could, every one of us would be a legalist, and we wouldn’t even know it, nor have a choice in the matter. Maybe that’s why grace is so important, because it helps us also to see that the efforts we make to “be good” aren’t necessarily bad. I think, possibly, maybe, grace has the power to ordain our efforts as something good, if we just stop trying to judge everything ourselves.

AN UNWANTED LAYOFF

I had to lay off a young man today, because there wasn’t currently enough work on the jobsite for him to do. I hate it.

I don’t ever know what to do, or how to do it. I have a choice as to who I lay off, and the three guys I have working with me right now are all guys I want to hang onto. They all work hard, and get along, which is rare. Usually, workers get along, but don’t work hard, or work hard and don’t get along. I have been blessed by this rare combination for two months, and today, it started to end.

Young Aaron, whom I mentioned in a previous post, recently enjoyed the birth of his son. He also experienced being laid off today, and I don’t know what else I could have done. Of all the people who could be laid off, he is the one who can least afford it, yet the other two guys, Jimmy the Doorframe, and Casey both have more experience, have been with me longer, and are better able to work unsupervised. Aaron is a raw talent, with very, very little experience, and while I enjoy teaching him, when things slow down, the job can’t afford to have someone who needs supervision and teaching, it’s as simple as that.

And yet I can’t help but feel like all I really did was make a business decision. A good business man would applaud me for removing my emotions from the decision, but somehow, I don’t feel like my emotions have been removed. I feel like I’ve just misplaced them momentarily. And…it sucks.

What is he going to do? How is he going to support his family? I am told by some that it isn’t my problem, and I want to tell them, “eff off, what do you know about this?”

I was about to ask a stupid question just now. I almost asked, “How do you learn to not care?”

Know what? I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THAT! Even if caring feels this awful, I don’t want to know how to do this job without caring. I’d rather be dead.

Aaron doesn’t deserve to be laid off, and I wish I could keep him, I wish I had a friend who I could call and say, “Hey, I got a guy….got anything for him?” And that friend would answer, “Yeah, send him over”.

Ahh, but am I just trying to make myself feel better?

All I could do this afternoon was pray for Aaron. I think I even challenged God. I know, a good evangelical Christian never, ever tests God.

Guess what, He can handle it.

I just told God that I know Aaron has faults, and I know his “lifestyle” isn’t what some would call “deserving”.

But he’s deserving to me! I think he deserves to work, to be able to support his family! I don’t care what he does wrong! Hell! I do wrong every freaking day!

FEED HIM!!! YOU FEED HIM!!! JUST AS YOU FEED ME!!

Please? God, please?

AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT OF JESUS:PART FIVE

Just because he has no tears does not mean he isn’t crying.

Just because she has never called you does not mean she doesn’t want to talk.

Even if you never remember the lonely, they still exist.

If you close your eyes and pretend they aren’t there, they probably won’t bug you, but they will still be there.

In this fifth installment of my intimate portrait of Jesus, I can talk about something I am very familiar with. Jesus is a friend to the lonely. Are you?

I won’t use bible verses to write this post, and for some, that might mean the things I have to say here won’t be “biblical”. Good! Ignoring the lonely isn’t biblical either, and when is the last time anyone was so concerned about our actions not being “biblical”?

Jesus is here, with me, always. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t shake Him loose, and believe me, there are times I have tried. Now, do you want to know how hard it is for me to shake someone who ignores the lonely loose? It’s easy.

If I were to ask a room full of people (Jesus amongst them) whether anyone in there knew at least five lonely people, maybe one or two hands would raise, and Jesus’ hand would be one of them. If I were to then ask if anyone in that room actually gave a damn about the lonely, every hand in the room would shoot up instantly.

Next question; “When is the last time anyone here went out of their way to visit the lonely?” Only one hand would raise, and His answer would be, “Well, there was that one time two thousand years ago or so…when I died for the lonely. Since then, I haven’t really had to go out of my way, as I am always with them anyway.”

As I look around the room, I see faces I recognize, people who might know me, and they are clueless that I get lonely. Want to know why? None of them ever bothers to ask. And yet as we all know, this is a room where every hand will raise when asked if they care about the lonely.

I have a best friend named Brett, and he truly cares. His wife does too. Beyond that, if I do not make it known I get lonely sometimes, no one cares enough to ask.

This isn’t a pity party, for I am not lonely tonight, which is the best night to write this post. No, this is simply the truth.

Jesus is here, when I am filled, and when I am not. He is here when I am surrounded by people, and He is here when I am not. No man or woman can be with the lonely all of the time, but isn’t it surprising how “all the time” turns into “none of the time”?

It’s time for me to learn about the new people in our church, and in my neighborhood, and in my city. I am going to find out who is lonely. I used to know, as our church was not all that big, but one by one, each lonely person I knew has seen their lives become filled again with people and hopes. Of the group of ten or so that I knew, I am all that remains of the lonely.

So it is time for me to go out again into the places where the lonely people reside, find them, and be a physical Jesus to them until someone can be there for them more often, or all of the time. It is time for me to do it, because no one else will.

Jesus is a friend to the lonely. He doesn’t write theological treatises, He doesn’t memorize bible verses, and He doesn’t tithe. What kind of a Christian is that?

The kind of Christian the lonely need.

WALKING

I am wondering about what I have been writing lately. For that matter, I am wondering about what most Christian bloggers have been writing about. Further that, I am wondering what most Christian authors, including the well known ones, have been writing about.

Is it just me, or do we all want to be experts at “knowledge”? Strike that. I don’t necessarily want to be an expert. I just naturally default to that position, as if “I know”, know what I mean?

A thought occurred to me yesterday as I was driving my new-used truck. I wondered how we can seem to know so much about God, and our faith, and yet how we seem to have little or none of the power that comes with the Kingdom. And so I brought that thought up when I was in silence with Abba. Here’s what we came up.

I will talk in the first person, because really, I shouldn’t speak for you all.

I am far more interested in knowledge than I am in practical living. By “practical living”, I mean, as far as a believer goes, I am an infant. Yet I want to discuss the deeper “truths” of our faith as if I have been, or am a mature follower of Christ, which I am not. I go so far with this as to disdain real love so that I can talk about love instead.

There is one statement Paul made once which sticks in my mind. He said, “The Kingdom of God does not consist of words, but of power.” The Kingdom I have lived in mostly consists of words, and I suspect that in some measure, it will always consist of a few words, for I am a man who loves to write and think.

I don’t think God hates me because I talk about the deeper things of Christ. But I do think He has a better plan for me than to keep me here, where I do not understand even the most basic truths about God. If there is one thing I do know, it is that God is a God of action, and I believe He would use me and this big body He gave me for something, rather than have me sit around and talk about doing something.

My problem isn’t words, rather, it is that I have little experience about what I am talking. I would suspect this is true for just about every Christian blogger, and just about every Christian author; yes, even the well known ones.

I say this not to indict anyone, I just consider it to be the truth. Have you ever written a book? I have, even though it was never published. Let me tell you something, it takes TIME to write a book, and some of these well known Christian authors write so many books, that it is very, very hard for me to believe they actually have time left to practice what they preach. In fact, I would say I find it impossible to believe.

What you do with your time is yours to decide, as it is for the well known. But what I do with my time is going to be more than just words. I would rather die than be nothing more than words. I guess you could say this faith in me is moving once again, to a living faith, not just a faith of words without experience.

I may not talk about “doctrines” very much anymore, and even now, I almost regret the talking I have done today about these things. Please do not mistake me, I don’t think it’s “wrong” to do so. But I do wonder, are we substituting experience with words, because words are easier to do?

I have no idea where this life is taking me. I have no idea how to proceed. But I trust that God does know how, and that makes all the difference to me. A part of me feels almost sad in a way; I feel as though an old friend is dying. Maybe that old friend really was words, and maybe those words I typed, and will type are a friend I leaned on when I didn’t know what else to do, or didn’t want to do anything else.

I don’t know.

I do know that what I have talked about are things I think I know, but I have no way of telling. It is possible that living out this life of faith, and this life of power in the Kingdom of God will help me understand the things I talked about better. But it is also possible that the road I am on will show me I was wrong about a great many things.

This blog will probably become a lot more personal, and that intimate portrait of Jesus I was painting will probably become just as personal as well. I think God would have me be honest, and that I would walk and not run, especially since this road is so new to me.

But I will say this, freedom isn’t what we have been led to believe it is. It isn’t the right to do anything we want anytime anywhere, or even the right to do nothing. It’s something far more than that. I am setting out to discover what God will reveal about that, and a whole bunch else, too.

Care to come with?

DISCIPLINE

Tonight’s post may open your eyes a bit, to an untruth that currently floats easily through the body of Christ. It is the untruth that discipline is a bad thing.

I am only writing tonight because writing is a discipline for me. I make every attempt, every day, to write something. It may be a story, a poem, some thoughts, or a post for this blog. Nevertheless, I write something, and it is a discipline.

I have found that although I sometimes have to force myself to write (thus, the word “discipline”), I have also found that if I do not write, I am miserable. What should I do?

Writing doesn’t always come easy to me. Most of the time, it does, but there are times that forcing the words onto the pages are like pulling my own wisdom teeth. You can imagine the agony of thoughts floating in my head that don’t seem to come out right, or maybe just don’t want to come to the page at all. Now, imagine the agony of me never making the effort to force those words to the page.

I can tell you from vast experience that if I don’t force those words out, they bounce around in my head, and literally drive me nuts. I am often irritable, and rude when I don’t write. Why would this ever be so? I’ll tell you why. It is because I discovered a long time ago that my thoughts need to be worked out, they need to be thought about, chewed, and finally written out, hopefully in some coherent form. Whatever the result, my thoughts have to come to the page. If they do not, I will be miserable, and what’s worse, I know the only thing that helps me avoid this misery is to write.

It is discipline to force myself to do something I don’t always look forward to. But the results of that discipline are a clear mind, and a jolly soul. You cannot (maybe you can?) imagine the joy I find in writing, most of the time. Even when I have to force myself to write, like tonight, halfway through, I am immersed in joy, as my hands fly over the keyboard in an attempt to make the electrical impulses inside of my brain into words that communicate my “thoughts”.

I feel no guilt if I don’t write, mind you, I just feel miserable, crabby, irritable, whatever you want to call it. In this case, discipline is a good thing. Oh, I know, my writing doesn’t earn me favor with God, or earn me brownie points in heaven. But it does something almost as good, it exercises my mind, and helps me work through many things I don’t understand, and other things I have finally understood. This discipline is something I have chosen to do, and the results of it are obvious.

There is another “discipline” I have returned to. It’s called solitude, absolute silence, and a visit with God in my mind. For a while, I put this “discipline” off, I put it on the shelf. Guess what? That’s right…I was miserable without it.

Some people make their disciplines their idol, they worship their discipline. But for me, a good healthy dose of forcing myself to do something I wouldn’t “just let happen” is a good thing.

Look, if I am miserable because I decide to not face God, to stay away from silence and aloneness, then what good is “freedom” from discipline? To me, it is a man-made prison, and it is man made exactly because we stay away from that which has the capacity to bring us joy.

Writing brings me joy, but if I don’t drag my butt off the couch some evenings, that writing is left on the shelf, inside of my head, and I am left feeling bottled up and miserable, not having expressed my heart and mind in the best way I know how. Who’s fault is it if I find myself to be miserable because I didn’t do what I knew would in the end bring me joy? The same is true for solitude.

Each and every person is made differently, I understand. But that also means that each and every person has certain things, maybe even gifts, which require work and effort to use. You might even call that work and effort “discipline”. But keep quiet about that part, because otherwise the freedom police will come knocking and call you a legalist. They do not realize that they are the ones in prison, keeping themselves from the joy of spreading their wings and flying, all in the name of freedom from “discipline”.

If you have to “try”, it isn’t freedom, they say. I wonder what Paul would have said about that. If you need to know what he would have said, check out the impressive list below.

Found in Romans:

“I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish.

So, for my part, I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome.”

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,”

“Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake.” (Paul talking about being in subjection to governing authorities, nevertheless, his choice of words is “it is necessary”)

Found in 1^st Corinthians

“Therefore I exhort you, be imitators of me.” (huh? Surely Paul would never say such a thing)

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”

“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” (Must?)

“To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law;” (If you don’t think this took immense discipline, please recall that Judaism of Paul’s time was ALL about discipline)

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.” (Paul’s explanation of his apostleship, as compared to the others)

“Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” (Yes, Paul REALLY did use the words “let us cleanse ourselves”)

Now I know the temptation to say I used these “verses” out of their context is strong, but if you actually do the digging, and find where these words are recorded, you will quickly see that what Paul was saying with all of these things comes to bear with the idea of discipline. So , we know some of what Paul would say. I encourage you to find the rest, and see if it agrees with current Christian thought, and its complete disdain towards asceticism.

There is most certainly a difference between us and Paul, but that difference isn't greater faith, a greater Lord, or a greater hope, for we have all of those same things Paul had. What we do not have is Paul's discipline, his self control. Some will tell you that this is the work of the Spirit. I am telling you, self control is the fruit of the Spirit, and as with all fruit, if we do not eat of it, how can we ever expect to gain sustenance from it? Why are today's believers STARVING themselves of the fruit of the Spirit for fear of legalism? Don't we know that those who starve die?

PAUL AND US

What is the difference between Paul and us? We all have the same Spirit, the same Lord, and the same hope, yet the results of our lives are different. I know of no man who can boast that the results of his life bore as much fruit as Paul’s.

"Paul says to us, "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ" 1 Cor. 11:1). He says, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" (Phil. 4:9, ). We then, within our modern view of life, busily set to work explaining how, of course, we are following him as he follows his Lord. Don't we believe and say the same things he did? But our lives are not like his life at all. We do not do the things he did. Yet it is surely Paul's practice that alone explains his marvelously victorious life in the easy yoke of Christ, for he in faith adopted his Lord's overall style of life. And as he did, he experienced the upholding of God's grace in it. This is the key to the understanding of Paul's life, teachings. and effect on history."

Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines.

So what is the difference? See how Paul told the recipients of his letters to practice what they saw him do, what they learned from him, what he told them. And he, in his part, followed the example of Christ.

What was the example of Christ? Was it to do nothing? If it was, then we are all damned.

Christ mentioned something about the greatest life as being one where a man is the servant of all. But to be a servant, one has to do something. He certainly cannot “rest”, and expect to become a servant. A man must move to be a servant.

I know, I know, there are those who will say, “Must?... sounds like a bunch of legalism to me.” It may well sound like legalism, but I assure you, it is not. It is simply the way the Kingdom of God works. Paul said a man reaps what he sows. If a man sows nothing, he will surely reap nothing. Can anyone deny this as a basic truth of life?

Look, legalism be damned, if you want to reap self-control, which was a strong message of Paul’s, then something needs to be sown. Let’s UNDERSTAND that grace is already received here, shall we? Now what? Nothing? Well, then you’ll reap nothing; you certainly will not reap self-control.

But can we initiate our own discipline, our own self-control. No, faith ignites all of our effort, and what I see in Paul was that he was completely abandoned to his former way of life, BEFORE he practiced what he saw in his Lord. He was sold out, and that selling out came at a great cost.

Paul was a Pharisee, advancing beyond his peers in his religion; he was going to be someone great. How much does it cost to throw all of that away? Did Paul have to try to do it? Or did it come easy, without pain and without sweat? Anyone who believes it came easily certainly must have missed Paul talking about the trials he faced, the beatings, and basically penniless life he lived for the cause of Christ. It cost everything, and Jesus Himself said, “I will show Paul how much he MUST suffer for the sake of my name.”

Paul MUST suffer? That sounds like legalism, doesn’t it?

Was Jesus a legalist?

Paul abandoned everything, and it was suffering, it took great effort, yet all along, he knew, he believed, that it was Christ and not himself, who gave him strength. The difference between Paul and us isn’t greater faith or effort. The difference between Paul and us is greater effort made in faith. Everything Paul did, he believed the Lord was already doing. And so to him, to make the effort wasn’t the goal. Rather, the effort was the road that was traveled to see the result of what he had sown, of what Christ had sown in him. Without that effort, he wouldn’t see the result, someone else would. And we know one thing; Paul desired to see the results. That is a common theme in most of his letters.

JOHN

I’d like you to meet a friend of mine. His name is John.

John is a hard worker, and an image conscious man. He wears thumb rings, earrings, and has the “right” tattoos in the “right” places. He says all the right things, will do anything for anyone so he won’t be seen as selfish, and seems to be rigidly aware of how he “appears” at any moment in time.

John was living with an ex-girlfriend named Sheryl who has some problems; the biggest problem being that every time she breaks up with him, her problem is that he isn’t “with” her. She doesn’t seem to understand that when a woman breaks up with a man, naturally, the man is no longer “with” her.

One night, John brought home a new girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend went ballistic, and decided to move upstairs, into an empty apartment she can’t afford on her own. John hadn’t planned on sleeping with this new girlfriend, he was only stopping at home to pick up a few things for a brief stay at his new squeeze’s house. His new girlfriend had to listen to the shouting and insults flying everywhere; I cannot imagine this made a real big impression on her.

John decided it was finally over between he and Sheryl. Several times now, she had broken up with him, only to get back together with him after a period of time away. This most recent time, he had actually moved all the way from Illinois to Wisconsin, at the request of his now ex-girlfriend. It worked no better this time than it had the previous times, all occurring over a period of eight years.

Johnfeels lost without her, even with a new girlfriend, and even as he knows he can never go back to Sheryl.

John doesn’t know Jesus, he can’t, because he is too busy trying to look good. Every moment is a chance to impress, and he rarely misses out on an opportunity to look like an all-around nice guy. He is very agreeable, and will discuss anything with anyone who talks with him. He is a well-rounded individual, exactly the kind of person I would expect America to produce.

But there is this place inside of John that once revealed itself to me. It is the questioning place, the crying place, the lonely place, the place John lets no one see, if he can help it. It is the place John has very rarely seen himself. It is the empty place, the place where fear reigns, and loneliness lives. Going through what he is going through, John cannot hide from this place, or in this place anymore.

He bared his soul to me, and I listened. As I listened, I could easily pick and choose what to change about his life that would ease the pain, and remove the fear. But that isn’t what I was there for. I was there to listen, and so I did.

John isn’t a rare guy. Do you know anyone like John? Of course you do. You probably know hundreds of people just like him.

John doesn’t know Jesus, and it’s not because no one ever told him about Jesus. It’s because the "Johns" of this world have never, ever seen Jesus in us.

Lord, I cannot do this on my own, You know it. I cannot shine Jesus through this flesh by human willpower. I can put on a show, but somehow, I don’t think that’s what is best for this situation. I don’t have time to “fix” John’s sins. He doesn’t have time, he’s losing hope, and if his hope finally depends on how I act, then he has no hope whatsoever.

So I’m asking You to do something. I don’t know what, I just know You have to do something, or John is sunk. If You have to use me, then make Your power to live in my veins, and make Your wisdom to be self-controlling, with a mind of its own, so that I do not try to control it myself. I am at the end of myself with John, it’s up to You now.

I don’t know how to do anything but hear with my ears, and what I hear is hopelessness. This nation breeds hopelessness, Lord, in quantities the likes of which are impossible to measure, and hard to match from any other time. John is hopeless. Can’t you give him a little, despite what he does “wrong”? For me? Your beloved child? Abba? You do it for me every day. For even one day, let him have my share. I know what it is I am asking, and although I am frightened to ask it, I am asking it anyway. Please Abba, give Him mine, because I have nothing else to give.

ALL THE TREES IN THE GARDEN SAVE ONE

Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.

The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."

I was reading this the other day, and for the first time, I was struck by a realization of something really odd.

“From any tree of the garden you may eat”

“But from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat”

Want to know what I wondered about?

Why didn’t Adam and Eve eat from the tree of life? I don’t get it. They were told, by God, that from any tree in the garden they could eat, except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

That would have made the tree of life fair game, as I read this account. In fact, that makes eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil really, really stupid, in my opinion. Of course, I have the benefit of hindsight with all of this. I wonder, would any of us have eaten from the tree of life?

That poses the next question. Just what is this tree of life? Or is this tree of life a who?

Jesus mentioned something about being the bread of life, and those who eat of the bread of life having eternal life. And here we see the tree of life, smack in the middle of the garden, and God, saying to Himself, “We better remove the people from the garden, otherwise they might eat from the tree of life, and live forever.”

Why didn’t they eat from the tree of life?

I don’t get it. Why does man choose to die? Was it a choice? To read the biblical account, it certainly seemed like a choice. God said, “you may eat from any tree in the garden, except one”. That leaves a choice, in my opinion. So were Adam and Eve free agents? Somehow, through all the theological garbage we have been saddled with, we would almost have to say, “no”, because God planned it this way. And maybe He did.

But this story certainly gives rise to a lot of questions, doesn’t it? Such as, if God really wanted Adam and Eve to live forever, don’t you think He might have done a better job of encouraging them to eat from the tree of life?

The point is, He didn’t. He left them to do according to their desire, as far as I can figure. If God really is unchanging, what does that say about the gift of redemption. Is that a new tree of life?

WHAT IS THE KINGDOM OF GOD LIKE?

Is this Kingdom of God real?

No, this is not part of the series I have been writing about Jesus. I’ll return to that very shortly.

When I ask about the Kingdom of God being “real”, I don’t mean, “is it real through mystic faith”? I don’t mean to ask whether or not it is like the boogeyman, only real if we believe in it. I mean, does it exist physically?

There seems to be an awful lot of preaching out there in bloggyland about mysticism, and things being done which clearly aren’t. There is an awful lot of spiritualization going on, and I am left wondering, what happened to the REALITY of the Kingdom? Since when does the reality of this world look anything like the Kingdom of God?

In truth, this world looks nothing like the Kingdom of God, which if a man found in a field, he’d go and sell everything he has, and then come back and buy the field. I don’t see much in this world worth selling everything I have for, save for the reality of Jesus Christ. Him, and people.

But this world? No, it’s not the kingdom, and everything is not finished, otherwise we might as well believe that the Kingdom’s influence is very distant, and very, very, very weak. For what we see in this world is the same thing we have always seen. We see selfishness, we see instant gratification, we see murder, and all manner of people being taken advantage of by other people who don’t consider them as valuable. In essence, we still see what we have seen since the time of Jesus, and before. Pardon me, but isn’t the Kingdom of God something more?

Paul, John, and Peter all told us we wait for something that has not yet been fully revealed, and that reality still exists in this world today. If it did not, things in this world would be a lot different.

I see love in this world, and I see hate right alongside of it. If Jesus had set up His government, I don’t think we’d see much of the hate thing. I see murder, and I see people helping each other. If Jesus’ government were set up right now, I can safely believe we would not see the murder thing.

Between the Kingdom of God, and the government of this world, there can be no comparison. The Kingdom of God exists in power and not in words, and in this world, the governments we see are pretty much all talk, and no do. Oh yeah, they do a pretty good job of spending money too.

But to say that everything is complete, to me, is to say that the Kingdom of God looks no different than the world has always looked. Check back into the things Jesus said about the Kingdom, and see if that is what He described. Paul talked about things being changed in an instant, and Peter described it in such a way as to use fire as a description of how things will change so rapidly, as if the world is burned by fire, and remade in an instant.

The difference between the Kingdom of God, and this world will be greater than night and day, when it has been fully manifested and revealed. We haven’t seen it fully revealed yet, we wait for it. Otherwise, what’s been revealed looks weak, impotent, and pretty much the same old same old. No one is going to sell everything they have for that.

I understand that we live by faith and not by sight, but I don’t think that verse has anything to do with the reality of the Kingdom. I think it has everything to do with doing just as Abraham did; waiting.

Faith being what it is, we look forward to what we hope for but cannot see. If it is already here, what in the world do we need faith for? We haven’t seen it yet, but when we do, we’ll know what it is, because it will look completely, totally, and in all other ways, different from what we see today.

WHO IS THIS JESUS?: PART THREE

The third part of this series, where I am writing my wonderful opinions about Jesus, and you all are very busy agreeing with me about everything I say, is also one of my favorites. Now, about the agreeing with me part, honestly, it’s okay if you don’t agree with me at all. This isn’t a theological discussion going on here, it’s an intimate portrait of Jesus, according to my palette of colors, but please feel free to share your portrait of Jesus as well.

Jesus was, and still is, a magnet. He drew, and still draws many of this world’s most leaderless people. Searching for any evidence as to whether Jesus was a magnet to the intellectuals, and to the leaders of His day, I found none. Let me rephrase that; I found absolutely no evidence whatsoever.

What makes Jesus so attractive to the hopeless, and so unattractive to the smart and powerful, the people who “fit in”? As best as I can tell, it’s His honesty. This honesty unfolds in several different ways. The most striking is the power thing, again. Jesus is one of those people who backs up what He says, all of the time. For someone who is hopeless, to find that sort of a leader is a priceless treasure. But for someone who relies upon their own instincts and leadership, Jesus is a repelling force. He speaks of miracles, and if we pay attention, we see them, quite a bit more often than we are even aware of at the moment the miracle occurs.

But in His day here, people couldn’t miss His miracles. So when Jesus spoke of other things, such as heavenly things, and spoke authoritatively, His deeds backed up His words. Sadly, for the politicians of His day, the Pharisees, their deeds did not back up their words. Jesus was a mirror to them, and what they saw disgusted them. They could not escape the fact that Jesus was everything they preached about, everything they were not. But for the weak, for the dogs, for the poor and the leaderless, Jesus was someone who stood up for them, against the very same Pharisees who oppressed them.

I don’t know if you have ever experienced something like this, but I recall as a very young boy witnessing a bully from my school being caught in the act by a teacher. I recall the discipline he received, and I remember feeling uplifted, cared for, and protected. Inside, I quietly cheered the teacher on. As we travel around the written gospel, we often see Jesus taking on the politicians and lawmakers (Pharisee, scribes, Rabbis) in much the same way this teacher took on the bully. I can’t help but believe that the oppressed leaderless were silently cheering Him on as well.

But there is more to being a magnet than just power, authority, and honesty. One of my favorite attributes of this particular Magnet is the fact that He meets the needs of the everyday man or woman. We received numerous accounts of this very fact in the written gospels, and I hear about Jesus’ ability to meet needs from the mouths of disciples today as well. I can’t count how many days I have not gone hungry. But on an even deeper level, I cannot recall the last time I felt hopeless, and to me, hope is akin to life. Jesus meets physical needs, and He gives hope to the hopeless. Yet another reason he was fantastically popular.

The final thing I want to say about the magnetism of Christ is that He must have been compassionate. To me, any leader who is not compassionate is not much of a leader at all. And rapidly, especially in this day and age, that kind of leader will not have a magnetism about him at all. Instead, if he is a leader at all, he will lead through coercion and fear. How many people in our churches get this “compassion” thing wrong? How many people opt for the fear factor, rather than the compassion factor?

If we are followers of Christ, then our compassion alone will be a powerful magnet for those who are hopeless, leaderless, and oppressed. There is no greater example of this than the very situation which occurs in Iraq everyday, between the US army, and the Iraqi people. Count all of the terrorist reports you want, but the VAST majority of the Iraqi people support, and are happy to have the US there helping them stabilize their new country. This would not have been so without compassion. First hand accounts from friends of mine who have served in Iraq all tell the same story, that compassion is winning the day, and the Iraqi people are being won over because the US army gives them something the terrorists don’t; hope.

Perhaps the biggest reason for Jesus’ magnetism was His compassion. He led people who were leaderless with mercy and compassion, knowing of their wretchedness, and looking beyond it, into the heart of the person, and setting a new Law in stone for all time, which is; “Every person deserves to be loved.” (Love one another) People were drawn, and are drawn to Jesus because He loves them, and that love isn’t just words, it’s genuine. His honesty, His ability to meet needs, and His compassion all flow from His love. We, who are His followers, do better to follow Him in this, than to lead people into theological expertise.

HOW DOES JESUS DO THAT?

Having written briefly about Jesus as the miracle worker, I decided to touch a bit on why He was even able to be a miracle worker in the first place. I guess a simple answer would be, “He is God, that’s why He was the miracle worker”. You would be right if you thought that.

To me, there are several more complete, descriptive answers pertaining to why Jesus worked miracles.

The first reason is actually founded upon the fact that Jesus is God. But He is more than God in the sense that He is more than just a person to be worshipped, more than a person to be feared and loved. He is at once all of these things, and the creator of these things. Being “God” is true, that is what Jesus is, but somehow, our definition of God falls way short. Some think of God as a bearded older fellow, wise, kind, loving, and that’s about it. Honestly, we have such a disjointed opinion about God that we often inhibit ourselves from appreciating to our very limits His completeness.

Jesus is God, and as such, He is the creator, of all things. John said nothing that was made has its existence without Him, and all things that were made were made through Him. When thinking of Jesus as the miracle worker, why is it easy for me to believe His miracles? Because being the Creator, He would have absolute command of His creation, He would be intimate with His creation to levels we can only imagine.

An interesting “science” has appeared on the scene in recent years. It is that of sub-atomic realities. Imagine, there are things much smaller than atoms, and we can study them. Imagine Jesus, the creator of all these things, knowing all about these sub-atomic “particles”. Two thousand years ago, Jesus knew what makes up a man, what makes up a tree, and how to stop the wind from blowing. Can healing a shriveled hand on the Sabbath even be hard for Him?

Jesus is in command of all these things, from hands, to wind, to sub-atomic particles. Giving sight to the blind, in essence, for Jesus, may well have been just a matter of Him rearranging a few sub-atomic particles., each of which was under His authority. And that would follow, if we believe Jesus is God, and thus, Jesus is the agent of creation. In fact, it explains why He was able to do what he was able to do when He was here.

But there is another reason I like to ponder every so often. That reason is the relationship Jesus had with His Father. To say it in one word, perfection. God’s will was Jesus’ will, and Jesus did what pleased His Father all of the time. I think for the most part, that basically meant being “with” His Father in all things. It meant being reliant upon God for the answers to the sub-atomic question, as well as knowing His Father would give Him both the right answer, and the power and authority to perform it.

Looking fairly closely at the accounts of the written gospels, I find it interesting that Jesus did everything in His Father’s name, as if He were the Father’s “ambassador” to us. Not just God, but God’s mouth on earth, God’s hands, God’s feet, God’s human attributes that we tend to place upon our Father. Jesus was all of these things, in perfect unity with Abba. Being the ambassador, the Son, Jesus had all of the Father’s authority to do what He did here. And He did it all in His Father’s name.

There are other descriptions we could use that would help make the miracles Jesus performed seem more real to us, rather than the distant, aged “events” we read in the Bible. But these two reasons speak most loudly to me.

Coming to this point in my life, God has always before seemed distant. He has seemed “just out of reach”. Now, having this gift of grace in my imperfect body, and coming to know the Father more and more, He seems closer, a lot closer, than He ever has.

Did He move, or did I?

WHO IS THIS JESUS?: PART ONE

Who is this Jesus? This God-man who so many have believed in, and so many others have followed, who is He? Where can one begin when attempting to write about this perfect man?

I believe the best place to start is in my heart, where my love for Him grows. And if I start there, then you will begin to see a picture of how Jesus is best represented to me personally. Sure, I could start rattling off hundreds of Bible verses, and leave Jesus on the pages of a book. But I think Jesus is in my heart far more present than He is on the pages of the Bible. I do not always act or live as though He is strongly entrenched in my heart, but that isn’t His fault.

Starting in my heart then naturally lends itself to a far less than perfect “theological” picture of Jesus. But it does lend itself to something I value more; an intimate portrait.

I have heard and read and seen enough of theologian’s descriptions of Jesus to last a lifetime. I need no more, and I am guessing you don’t either. So let me begin drawing this picture, and filling the lines and spaces with color.

For myself, I have always been in awe of Jesus’ power. When I speak of power, I am not speaking of “authority” in the sense that a theologian would. I am instead speaking of miracles.

Jesus is the miracle man to me, the man with the attesting signs, performing things this world has not seen before.

Picture it if you will; a young man spends his entire life blind, his parents are unable to heal him, or to bring him to anyone who can offer more than words of comfort. This young man will spend his life destitute, unable to earn a living in the ancient world. Furthermore, because of the religion he was raised within, he will be looked upon as the son of sin, a misfit in a “survival of the righteously fittest” nation. If he begs, he will be spat upon. If he cries out to God, he will be called a blasphemer, raging against God’s just judgment of he and His parents. In essence, he may as well be dead already.

In an instant, in a moment no one could have predicted, he is cast from the land of the dead into the land of the living, by a man named Jesus. This blind man has never even heard of this Jesus, how could he, for he cannot travel around Judea and Nazareth, so crippled he is by his handicap. He is not welcomed in most circles; people are either uncomfortable around him, or will not touch him, as if he is an unclean leper, this young man born blind. But this Jesus touches him. The blind man heard Jesus speak from the temple the other day, but did not know who shouted so clearly amidst the columns of the temple. He only knew a man had angered the rulers and lawyers, nothing more.

Can you imagine what this blind man must have felt at the touch of Jesus? Can you imagine the gentleness in that touch, of such a quality the blind man had never experienced before, save maybe from the hands of his mother? Can you feel him tremble as Jesus closes his fingers around the man’s face, and begins to whisper something softly, an encouragement, a command, maybe a prayer? Who can tell what Jesus whispers at the time, with all of the noise surrounding He who embraces the blind man now?

Picture God now, as you have never pictured Him before. Include the long flowing white beard, the stern face of Michelangelo’s God. Picture the wrath you have heard about, the love, the POWER, the absolute Everything that cannot be described capably with our language, EMBRACING this blind man. Bring everything you have ever known about God into this embrace, and witness the result, God’s answer to years of crying, suffering, anguish, and pain. Picture a mean God if you must, but can you continue to see a mean God in this embrace of love?

Jesus, God, locked into the soul of a blind man, touching him, ON A SABBATH! What does this blind man feel, as Jesus gives him sight? Can he feel electrical charges pulsing through his head? Can he hear humming, or a high pitched whistling? The gospel accounts are silent regarding the feeling or the sounds of the moment. We can only speculate. But we do not need to speculate about the result.

SIGHT!!

A man born blind can now see. God, the Great I AM, has touched a blind man, the least of all those amongst Him. He came to be amongst His creation, and if that is not enough, now He is face to face, touching, embracing, healing what no one else can. And who could bring God to account for walking away from this man without ever talking with him, touching him, healing him? Who amongst us could ever accuse God had He not performed this miracle?

The power of Jesus is the power of God. This is what was on earth with Jesus. The same power that created all which we see is that same power which gave sight to the young blind man, healed the cripple, made new the shriveled hand of another fellow, and raised the dead, at least three times, not including Himself. (I may have miscounted, but I will not go into my bible, and count the number of people He raised from the dead. If you wish, you may tell us the correct number in the comments section, all to the glorious portrait of God).

If the Gospels are to be believed, Jesus must have nearly wiped out disease in Israel. John says He did so many things, that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. In actuality, I see a bit of foreshadowing in those words, don’t you?

But imagine the power! “If you will not believe on the basis of my words, at least believe on the basis of My works”. And what works they were, are, and will be.

This Jesus, who is He? He’s the miracle man, to whom nothing is impossible, and if all the works He did while He was here are not enough proof, why, He’ll even raise Himself from the dead.

Imagine God amongst us. What kind of power will He display? Imagine the creator, now in flesh breathing upon a blind man. Can you make the stretch? Can your distant God come down to earth, and touch you?

His name is Jesus.

WHAT'S COMING UP

Over the next couple of weeks, I am going to be writing a series of posts which consider who and what Jesus is. This series will not be a theological exercise. In fact, much of what I write in this series will not be stuff you will read in any Systematic Theology Handbook. This will mostly be my take on who and what He is. Because of that, please feel free to toss every last bit of what I write into the trash bin.

Why am I doing this? For several reasons. The first is because I have never thought all that deeply about the many facets of Jesus. This series will allow me to do so. The second reason is because I tire of always tying Jesus to his cross.

Rub your eyes all you want, but what I wrote is not a mistake.

Did you know that I have never met the believer who does not think the most important thing Jesus did was die for us? In fact, most believers I know say the cross is far and away the most important event in His life. I would argue that point.

If a man dies, so what? So He died for our sins? So what? Anyone can die. In fact, every one does.

Please understand I am not taking shots as Jesus here. I know the cross was important. But to me, what sets Jesus apart from everyone and everything else isn’t His death. Rather, it’s His life, before, and most notably, after His death.

We talk about the cross of Jesus far more than any other attribute of His life. Yet how attractive is a naked man dying on a cross? What draws people to Jesus? Forgiveness? Maybe, but I would argue that forgiveness is nonexistent if Jesus hadn’t gone to the cross, and proven by His resurrection that His Kingdom life was indestructible, and that the love He so often spoke of was also indestructible. Yet we tend to separate the cross of Jesus from almost every other event of His life. I wonder why. I don’t know why.

Here is what I do know. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the foundation of our faith, not the cross. Why can I say this? Because if Jesus Christ did not rise from the dead, we have no hope. Yet this I would also say; we should not separate the cross from the resurrection, because I believe they belong together, in fact, I believe they are one and the same event, equally important, yet each one necessary to the other.

There is some hope in God dying for us, taking upon Himself our guilt. I believe that hope is multiplied, given perfect life, through the resurrection. And it is my intention to write in such a way that I will focus on the LIFE of Christ, what He did, how He did it, why He did it, and the type of life He talked about, which was proven to be indestructible through His resurrection. I believe there is more hope in someone rising from the dead, than there is in one naked man hanging on a cross. That may be heresy, but you’d be hard pressed to disprove it.

At any rate, I’ll be getting to work on this series, which I am looking forward to sharing with you, drawing from your ideas, and hearing your thoughts. Please feel free to leave comments liberally, as this is not a theological "pedigrees only please"exercise, but a labor of enjoyment and love. That being the case, everyone should be able to participate, if they wish.

IT'S NOT 74!

My weather channel box is lying....AGAIN!!!

It says 74 deg. F at 10:00 am. What an absolute lie! It's already mid eightees.

I wonder, can we trust the methods of measurement which are in this world?