SCROLLING THOUGHTS

O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me, such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it.

From a Psalm

Ever wonder what your day would be like if there was an electronic sign posted on your forehead, said sign displaying all of your thoughts as they scrolled across your mind?

I don’t know how it is for you, but my thoughts show me to be less than I hope to be, and less than one day I will be. If you could read my thoughts on a continuous stream, like the Wall street ticker, you’d run very fast, and very far away from me.

I thank God that you cannot read my thoughts, but I thank God that He can!

For if He could not read my thoughts, honesty with Him, even partial honesty, would be impossible for me. As it is today, I am able to, in a large extent, share with my Father my honest thoughts, feelings, hopes, and disappointments.

Psalm 139 (partial above) can for many be a scary Psalm. It was once for me also. But I find that abandonment from my will into His leads me to find peace and security in knowing Father can do ALL THESE THINGS. Yes, even reading my thoughts as if they were scrolling across a sign pasted on my forehead.

You see, Father KNOWS me. I mean, REALLY KNOWS me. I am not a surprise to Him, my thoughts are not ever going to cause Him to say, “I didn’t know that!” So no matter how wretched or good my thoughts are, my Father will keep His eyes on me, and lay His hand upon me, He will hold me to my benefit, keeping me safe in wonder at how He does that.

God’s word could be scary. The thought that He already knows my thoughts, even my words before they form on my lips, well…that could cause me to tremble. Instead, there is only now security, and peace, in knowing He knows me, all these things about me.

I find that no matter where I am, be in the physical sense, or the Spiritual sense, that God is not surprised, and that He loves me, and is TAKING CARE OF ME. Yes, I, too, am just a scared little boy, as my pastor recently admitted to me that he was. And we can know peace and joy, knowing we have a Father who is taking care of us. How could it be otherwise? If He sees our thoughts, and still loves us, if He knows what silly and wretched things scroll across our minds and still He withholds death from us, how could that be anything but love?

Freedom resides in the heart that is loved, and KNOWS it. Get to know God’s love, before you do anything else. Because without love, Heaven is worthless.

THE EYES OF MY FATHER ARE UPON ME ALWAYS

The eyes of my Father are upon me.

Knowing this more and more is leading me to a love I can’t explain more and more. Having my Father’s eyes upon me is like being physically alone with Him, even when I am with someone else.

When I was young, it was so important to me to have my dad’s eyes upon me, for him to see what I was doing. To some extent, it was the same with my mom. Ever hear your child say, “Daddy…..Daddy! Look! Look what I can do!”?

Yes, we seek approval from our parents, if we have parents. But how do we feel when we don’t want their approval? Instead, how do we feel when we’d rather they didn’t see what we could do? How do we feel when we’d rather God didn’t see what we can do?”

The eyes of my Father are upon me always. I am learning to desire this more and more, and even though I know His eyes are never absent, I find peace in the desiring of Him seeing me. Of course, I find something else, too. I find that all alone, without trying, obedience flows when I realize His eyes are upon me. This isn’t something driven from fear, either. It just is. The eyes of my Father are upon me always, and I want it no other way.

If I want to sin, if I plan to sin, my mind has to forget that the eyes of my Father are upon me always. How easily sometimes we train our minds to forget. For I know that I do not want my Father to see some of the things I do, and the flesh craves privacy for its deeds. My Spirit is coming to know that the eyes of my Father are upon me always, and this will never change. What hope I find in this!

Can you feel the eyes of our Father upon you?

NESTLED IN AMONGST THE WORLD

The first time I read Deuteronomy Chapter eighteen, I didn’t notice it. I must have missed it, nestled in there amongst the Laws so quietly.

The second time I read Deuteronomy Chapter eighteen, I almost missed it again.

Deut 18:15 "The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your countrymen, you shall listen to him.

"This is according to all that you asked of the LORD your God in Horeb on the day of the assembly, saying, 'Let me not hear again the voice of the LORD my God, let me not see this great fire anymore, or I will die.'

"The LORD said to me, 'They have spoken well.

'I will raise up a prophet from among their countrymen like you, and I will put My words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him.

Deut 18:19 'It shall come about that whoever will not listen to My words which he shall speak in My name, I Myself will require it of him. NASB

The Prophet. There it is, hidden, and revealed, amongst the Law that would teach Israel what sin was. And how could things be otherwise? How could the Law be introduced, that same Law that teaches us what sin is, sin leading to death, without also an introduction to the One who would teach the words of eternal life?

I invite you to read this passage over and over, if you like. There are several places this Prophet was referenced in the writings we call the New Testament. John the Baptist was asked if he was the prophet, and Jesus told the Pharisees and teachers of the Law, in a roundabout way, that He was the very Prophet that Moses had written about.

I love the words that were used in Deuteronomy 18:18, which say, “I will put My words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him.” They are matched perfectly when Jesus said, “My teaching is not Mine, but His who sent Me.”

In these words, and in all of the words of Jesus, we have the words of the Father. We feel His heart, we hear His will. And amongst the book of Deuteronomy, no less, we find all manner of Laws governing the Israelites. Amongst Deuteronomy, we have the Word of God, already promised as redeemer, to those who listen to Him. Has everyone heard the words of Christ? If not, what are we waiting for? That’s why we are here, to share them, to share Him.

I find an interesting parallel between the book of Deuteronomy, and today’s hectic pace. I find similarity between the jumble of Laws, and all we see each day in this world to draw our attention away from the only One who can teach us life. The Israelites knew the Law, but when The Prophet came, they didn’t recognize Him. We know the Prophet, and when we come, will they recognize us?

Will our love shine like a beacon in a busy world? Will they know us by our love? Or will our love be lost in the confusion of the day, barely noticeable, if at all? How often will we show love before it is noticed? How often will Christ shine in us before the world around us recognizes Him for who He is, the Way to Eternal life?

Nestled in amongst Deuteronomy is the introduction to the Prophet of God, the Savior, Jesus Christ.

Nestled in amongst the world are the Prophets of Christ, with Christ living in us. Although some things look different, not much has really changed.

FREE TO PURSUE KNOWING GOD

So as I have been talking about being free to strive, I have run into a bit of resistance, which was, to say the least, expected.

I understand the resistance, the desire to let grace do every single thing for us. I understand it well, and therefore, I do not chastise those who chastise me as a legalist when I talk about spiritual disciplines from here on out. The fact is, I know right where they are coming from, because I was there a year ago.

But I insist, because I know through experience now, that spiritual disciplines are not legalism in and of themselves. There is the danger of course that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING can become a “law” to us, in which we make the effort the goal, rather than simply following this basic desire to know and love God.

That’s right, a spiritual discipline allows us to pursue the means God has placed within our reaches to know Him, and He has also placed within our hearts a desire to pursue knowing Him. Are we to wait until He does the pursuing for us? No, there’s a better way, and we are free to do it.

So let’s talk about freedom. We are free to do all manner of things. We are free to do whatever we want, including running the other way, away from God, although in His Kingdom, there is no place we can go where He is not. We fool ourselves when we think He isn’t present, because He is always present. But let’s take that idea further.

If He is always present, wouldn’t it follow that He is always knowable? And if He is always knowable, how could it be legalism if we took a step to actually know Him more? If He is always knowable, when we walk in a certain way to get to know Him, I would have to say that legalism isn’t a concern. After all, He has given us so many things to come to know Him by, if “doing” something to know Him better was legalism, then nearly everything we do in this world would be legalism. In fact, to be not “legalistic” under those circumstances would only be possible were we dead, or in a vegetative state.

Yet we are warned to stay away from legalism time after time from people who are truly concerned for our spiritual welfare, I have no doubt. But I have news for any who feel the urge to warn me, and it is good news. There is now no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Enter a spiritual discipline in that frame of mind, and there will never be any danger from legalism.

We are free. Free to do all manner of things. But spiritual transformation is something we get to take part in. It isn’t our job, it isn’t our duty, but it is our privilege. The only thing stopping us then is our intention. I say, if we want to move forward with this cooperation in our transformation, then lets make the efforts we can. Oops, I said the word “effort”. Shame on me.

Look, you don’t have to do one bleeping thing for the rest of your life, if you don’t want to, if you are in Christ Jesus. You can remain just as you are. It’s your choice. But this learning of our freedom has a sneaky way of opening our hearts to desires we didn’t have before. And once God places that desire, it is a prison for us if we choose not to pursue it. Freedom is an enabler, not a disabler.

A young man I know once asked his Dad this question, “How can I love what I don’t know?” Out of the mouths of babes, huh? If we want to love God, the best way we have available to us is to come to know Him. And aren’t we blessed that we have the freedom to pursue so many different ways, even regularly, even , dare I say it, on a regular schedule? Shhh, don't tell anyone else about this. It's a secret.

FREE TO STRIVE

Well, here I am.

It’s been a while. I am sorry if I have disappointed you guys by not writing as much recently. Things have been hectic, and although there is a little time at the end of the day to write, I have found myself instead preferring to rest quietly. Peace, that is what I want, and it is what I have been grabbing, at least peace in the sense of “peace and quiet”.

I am sure I will be writing more in the near future, but for now, it will be sporadic. I miss visiting all of you guys, and I miss talking with you here in the way of comments and replies. Nevertheless, I am not lonely, as I am living life in the real world also, which is an important thing to do.

Which leads me to a question. We who blog, do we live life the way we write? Or is the way we write an ideal we can hide behind, where no one knows what we are like in real life? You see, I have found that in writing this blog, it is very tempting to be “doctrinally” correct, while my actual life could bear no resemblance to what is written here.

Sure, of course, I can erase what I say, or correct the mistakes, and polish everything up here real nice, and that way, I can “look” good. I can be a chameleon, changing to suit my needs, or my readers. I can make certain of my doctrine, that it is correct, exhorting, and revealing. I can sound pretty smart.

But what is at the heart of our lives? Is what I write the way I live? And please don’t come at me with the line, “it’s not about what you do, Tom, it’s about what He did.” I understand that well, but in the end, seeing as we are now free, I am free to do many things. I can hear all manner of speeches about what Jesus did for me, and I understand it all. But if I live life doing nothing because He does everything, then I live life not in the Kingdom, but in a greater prison than the one He freed me from.

Why is it that many people believe that to strive toward accomplishment is legalism? I don’t get it. Aren’t we free? Or are we to be afraid to do anything, because in the doing, we are being legalistic? I guess my feeling is, that is a bunch of hooey.

Life in “The Kingdom” does not consist of doing nothing. The life we live now is not one of being only recipients of God’s love. We are VESSELS of God’s love, and by definition, a vessel is both poured into and filled, and poured out of and emptied. So then, God’s love should be flowing through us, not constantly filling us and remaining hidden for none to share. In fact, I would have to say that we accomplish many things without even knowing it.

I would have to say it is impossible for us not to. So then, if we are accomplishing these things, if the Lord’s love is both filling us, and spilling out from us, have we become legalists against our will? After all, if we are accomplishing anything, according to some, we are still legalists. We are told that He did everything, nothing remains to be done. Again, I say, that is a bunch of hooey. Didn’t Jesus tell us to look around at the field, which was ripe for harvest?

A man who believes the words of Jesus will come to know that God can, and will use him to accomplish these things. A man stuck in prison will deny that anything is left to be done, and he will never taste the joy of God using him, because he will never realize that God uses everything, and everyone, even those who strive to accomplish nothing.

But wait a minute, if everything is done, then God CAN’T use us, can He? That should be our first clue that not everything is done, because God is still using us human beings to accomplish His will. So we should look for miracles, we should expect them, and we shouldn’t classify them as psychological “mysticism”. After all, if I have to classify “greater things than these” as merely mysticism, then I would also have to classify Jesus’ own miracles as merely mysticism, as actually never having occurred.

What’s my point here? Well, I guess it’s actually several questions. Do we live as we write here in bloggyland? And are we allowed to accomplish anything? Can we strive? Or are we in prison because we are free?

Yes, I know, that last question seems a contradiction. But let me ask you this. Are there times where you do nothing at all because you feel as though to try would be legalism? If you do, then I would say you are in fear, and you are in prison. Because the man who lives in “The Kingdom” can do all things, yes, EVEN try, without being a legalist. Not everything is done. If it were, our flesh would look radically different than it does today, and the “world” wouldn’t be as it has been for so long, dying. It would fully alive, no death anywhere in sight. We don’t see that yet, so we know not everything is done. The last question is, do we feel free enough to strive, or are we still bound in prison by fear?

WHAT CAN A CHILD ACCOMPLISH?

Whenever we tell someone of the love of God, which is Christ, how do we tell them to get there? In other words, what do we say to them?

Do we tell them to believe? Do we tell them to put their trust in Jesus?

I wonder, do we use the very words of Jesus? Or are these words too strong?

What words did Jesus use?

How about, “sell everything you own, give it to the poor, then come, follow me”(too many places to mention). Or, “In his joy he went and sold all he had” Matthew 13:44.

How about “unless one is born again, he cannot see the Kingdom of God.” John 3:3

In all of these places, and in all of these different ways, Jesus was saying something about loving God. The common thread that I find in all of these words of Christ is this; whatever we have or have known is of no use in the Kingdom.

The very words of Christ to Nicodemus in John 3 tell me succinctly, “Take everything you have ever known, and throw it away, become as a new born baby.” Literally, “start over”.

The words He said to the rich man are the same, especially when you consider the context of the story, in which the rich young man came to find out what “deed” he must do to earn eternal life. “All these I have kept since my youth”. I believe that is what the young man said to Jesus. And the words that Jesus said right after the young man’s response? Might as well have been, “throw it all away, give it to the poor, or whoever, for all I care, you, come follow me, as a new born without anything.”

Do you desire to know why the gospel sounds so good to the poor? Why the gospel sounds so good to the criminals, the prostitutes, and the generally ill-natured and ill-mannered? It is because all of their lives, they have hoped for a second chance, a way to start over, to erase everything, and begin anew.

Do you want to know why the gospel does not sound so good to those who are accomplished, well-known, and “have it all togethers”? Because to start over would erase all of their accomplishments, as if they had never happened. To start over would mean everything a scholar had ever learned was suspect, and he would be better off throwing it all away, and being a student back in school, the school of the Disciples of Christ. Enter Nicodemus, and enter his mass confusion, and overwhelming surprise at the words of Jesus.

Take away a “self-made” man’s wealth and position, and what does he have left? Do that to him, and you must also take away his wife, children, and friends, for he believes that because of the way he is, all these things were made by him as well. What is left?

The gospel is good news to the spirit, and bad news for the flesh.

But the poor, the criminals, the prostitutes and the helpless, the glory of the gospel is music. All of their lives they have been misfits, ridiculed and portrayed exactly as they are. They can bear no more shame, because they can be given no more. Reveal their “sins”, and for the most part, all of the world has already seen them. But reveal the sins of the accomplished, and now you have the evening news.

The gospel forces us see ourselves for what we really are, and then tells us to leap off the cliff, and trust God to catch us. The downtrodden can do this, the accomplished find it hard.

And so it is with everyday living in the kingdom of God. The downtrodden, those who have been forgiven much, can love much, for they have never had the “luxury” of concealment, while the accomplished hide behind their renown, and use it as a disguise for souls every bit as dark as the criminal sitting in jail cell 234-A.

To ENTER the Kingdom, one needs merely have the faith of a child. But a child? What can a child do?

Exactly!

To LIVE well in the kingdom, one need merely have the faith of a child. But what can a child accomplish?

Exactly.

I AM SCUM, I AM FORGIVEN

Being totally accepted by God, and knowing it has changed a few things for me. It will certainly change many more things as well, but I think God is into taking His time with us, so I’ll be patient.

Part of the reason for this post is to come clean with you, and let you know that I am scum. Oh, I know, you’ll desire to let me know I am not, and that’s okay. Let me explain.

I am a smoker. Have been for eighteen years. During the last three years, I have buried myself trying to quit. I’ve tried nearly everything, except a lobotomy, which would probably take all reasoning functions from me, and leave me with the addiction.

I am okay with this addiction. I know, I know, the good book tells us not to be slaves to anything, and I am most certainly a slave to smoking cigarettes. Know what? I don’t care.

That’s right. I used to care. It used to bury me with guilt. At times, it still does. But I have given up trying to quit for the time being, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about that. What matters to me is what God thinks of me, and while I have been concentrating on trying to fix myself and my addiction, I have been missing the better life, at least as far as that addiction is concerned, of acceptance through Christ.

So let me ask you this; which is worth more, to quit smoking finally and claim victory over sin, or to be loved by God regardless of what I do?

Until we can accept who we are, and know that AS WE ARE God loves us, we have no business trying on new outfits of change. Because to attempt to change before we know and accept who we are must certainly lead to insanity. How can we accept who we are, if before we ever know who we are, we demand that we be changed?

I don’t care if I ever quit smoking. Okay, I do care, but not all that much, anymore. I’ve heard all the reasons why I should, I’ve tried all the methods, and I have buried myself with all of the guilt that is possible with this addiction. I couldn’t add any more guilt to it even if I tried harder. So what’s the point? I am scum, and I love myself.

Can you love me, even if I am scum? Can you? Or are you somehow disappointed in me? This isn’t humility, by the way. I am still an arrogant ass. umiltH Humility doesn’t come from direct efforts at humbling ourselves in front of everyone else. Humility comes from knowing who we are, and accepting it, faults and all. Because lets face it, the Christian belief is that none of us could save ourselves. Since that is the case, once we really know ourselves, wouldn’t it follow that we would naturally also know we have nothing to brag about?

I am scum. And I am forgiven. Smoking isn’t going to change that. It’s time I accepted that.

TAGGED!!

It seems I have been “tagged”. I have Messy Christian to thank for this honor.

Here is how it works: I pick five occupations from the list below and complete the statement. Then I tag three other people to post their answers on their blog. If I have “tagged" you, and you don't want to play the game, just email me and I'll tag someone else. Of course, I’ll smear your name from bloggy west to bloggy east and all points north and south as a “tag-breaker”, but hey, that’s all part of the criminal experience. If you break the “tag” law, you should expect to be poked fun at, right? : )

Here goes:

If I were a missionary, I’d go to China, or Iraq, and be where the people who have never witnessed the love of Jesus are. Actually, there are many places like this, even many right here in the US. Heck, I might revolutionize “missions”, and start a new wave of love and hope here in the US. What am I talking about? I AM a missionary already.

If I were an architect, I’d make certain to work at least one month out of every year at a construction site as a carpenter, to make sure that I know what I am putting construction workers through with what I designed. As a carpenter in real life, I have actually had several architects say to me, “I didn’t know how you were going to build that”. My immediate thought was, “Then why did you design it?”

If I were an athlete, I’d be a starting pitcher for a Major League Baseball team. I have always dreamed of doing that.

If I were a writer, I’d still work as a carpenter in some aspects, because I love the physical labor, and frankly, doing nothing but office work would drive me batty. Still, I would write novels, and about things I have learned as a follower of Christ.

If I were an astronaut, I’d design a single- seat rocket ship that could fly to the moon and back in one day, and then I’d be the first to fly it. Yeah!!!

There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

And I now “tag” these three people to join me in picking their five dream occupations. Thank you, and enjoy. Bruce of YBMT, Fish of A Real Big Fish, and Liesa of Testimone (Digital Paper)

Below are the list of occupations to choose from. Have fun!

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an inn-keeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I could be a world famous blogger...
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

A GIFT

I saw a gift from God today. I saw grace waddling up an on-ramp to Highway Twenty-Three.

Actually, what I saw was two geese, but only one grabbed my attention, and held it. This is the second Saturday I have seen these geese, some thirty-five miles from my home, near the same spot. Last week, they were on the north side of the on-ramp, whereas today they were on the south side of the ramp. I must have been early, or maybe even a little late. Either they hadn’t crossed the road yet, or they had just crossed it.

Today, there was something about the goose nearest the road that made me smile. Maybe it was his large beak, or his beady black eyes. Maybe it was his neck, or the way he waddled so proudly. Maybe it was the fact that he was there at all.

Yeah, that’s it. He was there, on the side of the road, as though saying to all passers by, “Helloooo!!!!!”

And boy did he make me smile. For several minutes, long after the goose had passed out of sight, I remained smiling. And it wasn’t just any smile. It was a big, goofy smile, you know the type, halfway between smirking and laughing, but not quite ready to let loose with a hardy chuckle. I don’t know why I couldn’t stop smiling, but as I approached the one minute mark (so I would guess, if I had to estimate how long I had been smiling at this time), I began to be aware of how I was smiling, and of how I couldn't control it.

I smiled some more then, and quietly thanked God for the grace that I had seen this morning. I could have driven by those geese without ever seeing them, being in a hurry to get the day started and over with. I could have seen them, and thought nothing of them, because I had places to be, and no time to waste on smelling roses or fawning over a couple of birds.

But this morning, I smiled; a smile I couldn’t end, a smile I didn’t want to end. I was aware of God, seeing that goose and then thinking about him, and even more aware of God’s grace in my smile. It was a gift, one of many, but maybe the only one I noticed today, so I thought I would write about it, and share it with you.

JUST AS YOU ARE

If you were to die tonight, do you believe God would accept you as you are?

If you can answer yes to that question, ask yourself the next logical question, and answer it as honestly as you can. What is that next question?

Are you able to accept yourself just as you are?

Faith isn't "believing in God". Faith is beliieving God is right. Faith is a relationship between you and He. Faith is acceptance, and trust.

So, are you able to accept yourself just as you are? Or would you fix a few things first?

Last night, for a moment, I almost asked God to wait until He takes me, so that I can be further along with Him before I meet Him face to face. I stopped myself, and had to wonder, "Is that really what I believe? Is that really what I want?"

Several years ago, I would have said "yes". Now, I don't know. I do know that there are times I hate myself, and the way that I am. There are times I am so aware of how wrong I act, and all I can do is run to God. I can't hide, I know that. And I don't want to hide, because I don't want to be in the self-imposed prison I make. I want to be free, and I only know how to get there through Jesus.

But this flesh, it betrays me. It is my flesh, and I claim it. But that doesn't mean I agree with it's lusts and desires all of the time. There are some things about my flesh that are just downright bad, and no amount of justifying it makes any difference. Honestly, there are times I long to escape this flesh forever. Those are the times I do not accept myself, as God accepts me.

So my answer to that question is, "Not all of the time".

Not all of the time do I accept myself as God accepts me. Sometimes, I want to run away from me. But Jesus would have dinner with a fellow like me, this I know. I can't tell you in words how that is making me feel at this very moment. I am accepted, even if I don't always accept myself.

There is no other God in this world who stakes His claim to us like our Father. Search the world and its religions if you choose, but no god is like our God. Go ahead. I dare you. Just try to find a god who accepts you just as you are in any of the world's religions.

My God accepts you. He wants to dine with you tonight. Nothing you have done will cancel this invitation. The world tries to tell us that we are loved just the way we are, but we are certainly not loved by the world like this. But maybe the world, through its ignorance, is actually telling the truth, because there is one who loves you just as you are, and His name is Jesus.

He doesn't want you to dance. He doesn't want you to sing. He doesn't want you to work. He wants you to eat, and He wants to eat with you, forever. So whether you can accept yourself or not, know that He accepts you, that He will dine with you, just as you are.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME, HUH?

Tom Reindl is a Giant Mecha-Blob that shoots Electricity from its Eyes, has Webbed Feet, swats Aeroplanes like Flies, and is Blind. Strength: 9 Agility: 1 Intelligence: 1 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Tom Reindl, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Tom Reindl using Strength Agility Intelligence

THAT YOU MAY KNOW THE FATHER

“That you may know the Father”

And in knowing Him, you may come to love Him.

This will take some time. Peter spent several years with Jesus, face to face, and when it counted most, when Peter had been told he would deny God, when he insisted he would never do such a thing, and we must conclude that it was because of his love for Jesus that he said this, Peter loved himself more.

Discipleship is not an overnight endeavor. I do not wish to give you the impression that God cannot make us true lovers of Him overnight. My entire being screams out that He can!

Yet He hasn’t. It’s not just me, either. It’s every believer I know. We all take time, much time, to come to love the Father, even a little bit. But every once in a while, the Father sends His love in such a way that some love Him a little more than they did a little before.

So my words today, from my own mind, yet hopeful am I that they are drawn out from me by a love I cannot comprehend, say to you tonight, that God is patient, even with us.

He allows us all manner of freedom, to seek, to ask, to knock. Yes, even when we take short-cuts, even when we take no path at all.

The Kingdom is here, and there is so much we can do here. But will we wait until the Kingdom is revealed? For Jesus said the Kingdom does not come with our careful observation, but that it is in our midst.

At times, I admit, these words strike nothing but numbness inside of me. I cannot grasp the meaning of them. Then there are the times where those words send shivers up and down my spine, where my whole body and mind feel alive with sensation. Where I feel as though I can do ANYTHING, where there is no boundary keeping me held in prison, and no limit to what I can do.

All in God’s time, all in God’s time.

This will take some time, and I begin to wonder if perseverance has more to do with suffering our weakness, suffering our flesh, than it has to do with persecution. For to me, there are times where what I do makes me cry in agony, and shudder in disgust. How can this person still be this way? How, amidst this glorious Kingdom, can this man be so cold?

Then there are times where Jesus shines through, making all the memories of sin flee, and bringing warm, bright sunlight, through the thick clouds, and to my eyes, as I turn the corner to see Him. For one such glimpse, I would suffer my flesh for many years to come, and so I know that perseverance, yes, even that, is a gift to me from Him.

All things that lead us to love Him are from Him. There can be no more legalism in getting to know Him, in STRIVING to know Him, than there can be in the resurrection, where we see God’s glory as fully as we can see it at all. For if all things that lead us to know Him and Love Him are from Him, then there is now no condemnation in those things.

Even though once they were ritual, now, they have been made clean. Now we can pursue them, because we pursue Him. And this is our freedom, to pursue Him without fear of idolatry, without fear of sin, and without fear of judgment.

So my message is this; Let no man or woman tell you to stay put, to do nothing, to leave it all to Him. For if we know Him, then we know all things are already done through Him, how could we ever do anything that isn’t through Him now?

WE HAVE HIS BLESSING!

And may the Lord make His face to shine upon you all.