It seems to me that there are just too many wolves amongst the sheep, and I am sick of it all. I am feeling very discouraged about all of this right now, and it all seems so overwhelming.
There is much hurt within the Body of Christ. There are wolves amongst the sheep, and if I had a spear, I'd know what to do with it.
I read the other day of a very young lady in Malaysia who was spiritually abused by a pastor. How does she trust another pastor, when this wolf bit her while she trusted him? How does a man take such advantage of a sheep under his care? I don't understand it! How do you encourage this young lady?
I have twelve men entrusted to my care, but they are not my disciples. They belong to Jesus. The things we have learned together, the memories of joy, and yes, of deep, deep pain have cemented us in our community and faith. How can a leader bite someone under his care? I think of these men, and I wonder, how?!?!!!
I think of the things they have entrusted me with, things they have told no one else. These men I have prayed over, cried about, and rejoiced in. How?!?! Will someone please tell me how such a person ever becomes a pastor?!
I do not know. I know the young lady's story has much company in this Body. I have heard of it first hand. But this one story has affected me deeply. I don't know why.
But, there is a movement afoot. Traditional churches are driving away some who feel that their churches just don't do community right. About all of that, I have only this to say, besides the persecuted church, there isn't a church who does community right, not even one, not even close.
To get community right, we have to be the Acts 2:37-47 church. Maybe that's why we have wolves amongst us, because they know we are desperate to be accepted, and they prey upon it to their gain.
Today, we call the Acts 2: 37-47 church "communism", and we reject it without a second thought. However, that church is the church Jesus Christ built. It wasn't communism, because communism rejects God, and Acts 2: 37-47 depended upon God. We in the non persecuted church do not know, nor have we ever known true community. We pity the persecuted church because they are persecuted. Yet the only two things the persecuted church ever asks for is prayer, and Bibles. They never ask for us to pray that the persecution stops.
They do community similar to the Acts 2 church. I wonder, do you think persecution strengthens community, or weakens it? On the flip side, do you think not being persecuted strengthens or weakens community? Whenever I hear reports of the persecuted churches I know of, I don't hear too much about wolves amongst the sheep. But here in the non-persecuted church, I hear about it a lot.
Dear Sister in Malaysia, if you are reading this, I want you to know I am sorry. As a leader in my church, I struggle with the responsibility of leadership, with the way I treat people, and especially those in my care. It is such a tremendous trust we are given, and I am not worthy of that trust, no one is. For three years now, I have felt unready to lead, and yet I am told that is the right attitude to have. May I die then, the day I think I am ready.
Tonight is going to be a long night. I'll pray for you, lady in Malaysia, and I'll pray for that wolf of a pastor, too. I don't know that I'll ever understand why people become like that. I have always felt so badly for those who are abused by someone more "powerful" than them. It makes me just want to give a lion's roar to heaven, and so tonight, that is what I will do. And we will see if Jesus hears us. Amen.