How do you become someone you never were to begin with?
When I walk into a church on a Sunday morning, one of the things I notice is that everyone is smiling, and everyone is dressed really nice. Everyone except for me.
I have the smiling part down, because I am naturally upbeat; I mean, I wake up that way, so it isn't hard for me to be smiling at just about any moment you will meet me. But if I walk into a church, I do so wearing some old sweatshirt, a baseball cap, and blue jeans, the very same type I work in.
But not everyone is upbeat, and as I stroll through the church, I begin to be bothered by the idea that someone here, possibly many someones, are faking it. This doesn't only happen in a church. It happens everywhere you go.
Everyone I meet is busy, and happy. They are so busy that they haven't had time to stay in touch with their friends, friends, they would admit, who make their lives more enjoyable. Did you catch the contradiction there?
If I am so busy that I don't have time to stay in touch with my friends, outside of my natural upbeat outlook, I am not going to remain "happy" for very long. If I am so busy that I am living without fulfilling a natural need; that of connecting with family and friends regularly, then it could seem impossible for me to remain happy for very long.
Recently, I had to stay away from this blog, for the most part, because I was sick, and so busy that at the end of the day, I was too tired to make connections with people who had come to mean a great deal to me. Although my demeanor was upbeat, inside, I was sinking. Worse than that, I found myself faking it.
I didn't like that one bit. I felt empty, because instead of filling up on life as it happens, I tried to create a mental picture of happiness despite bad circumstances that I couldn't uphold for very long. I had a choice. I could try to keep up the smile, and force myself to quiet the voice inside which was screaming for connection. Or, I could make changes.
Do you know how easy it seems to just maintain the status quo? I am not kidding you when I tell you that to just keep going without connecting with my friends, to keep working and keep busy and keep being too tired to write here seemed like the simplest answer. But that also meant that I would have to keep faking it, and there is something in my nature that just rebels against faking things. I can pull it off if I stay persistent, but the more I pull it off, the more rebellious I become inside; the more I desire reality. There becomes an urge to scream at the top of my lungs at the next person who asks me how I am doing, "I'm doing shitty! I don't like life right now! I'm not who I thought I was, I feel disconnected, and I don't even care that you don't have time to listen to me rave!"
In essence, I am screaming both to give attention to someone else, and receive likewise. Connectedness. This nation screams for it; the Internets success is the result of it. Without it, we fake it. Yet even on Sundays, when people "go to church", they feel the need to fake it. Instead of being real, instead of allowing themselves to be themselves, they put their makeup on and become someone they are not.
It seems easy to maintain this, it seems like the best plan, the only plan, because changing it means doing things in a way most of us never have. It means being the real me, who admittedly is very upbeat, but who gets sidetracked at times when life seems to be a hurricane of events, all of them outside of my control. It means letting loose emotionally, which is something that people are taught not to do from a very early age, especially in "church". In "church", it's time to smile and act as though the Lord has blessed you greatly. In "church", it's time to be someone you are not. Sadly, that someone we are not gets carried into daily life, and we drag him to the store, the gas station, the movies, the bar, to events and parties and every other moment we live.
There is what I would call a phenomenon taking place in America in this age. I have observed it and am shocked at its prevalence.
Did you know that over fifty percent of all adult Americans are, or have been under prescription for anxiety or depression related illness at some time in their life? I am one of the lucky ones; I have never been under that sort of prescription. Maybe this means the field of medicine has learned something about people's well-being, and the drug prescriptions are merely a way of providing a more fulfilling, normal life. I think for a few people, these prescriptions are absolutely necessary, but for the vast majority of people under these prescriptions, my observation is that they are an escape from reality; a way to trick the mind into believing that everything is okay, especially when everything is not okay. I think the drugs are a mask, or provide the means to make the masks we wear seem better somehow, more like reality.
You see, a person can't fake it for very long before his nature begins to rebel against the act he is putting on. One can carry on this deception forever, but not without grave consequences to the inner man. One can fool his friends, one can wow his contemporaries with his supposed wealth and success, and generate envy through making one's life seem better than everyone else's. Isn't that the kicker, to make things seem better, in some cases far better, than what they really are? To make our lives look attractive, so that others will believe we have it all together, that we have become what we dreamed we would when we were young? Because to admit failure, to admit that when we were young, we never dreamed of having three mortgages and two jobs, we never dreamed we would be so miserable, so lonely, so forgotten. We never once thought that life could be so hard, that our plans wouldn't work out the way we thought.
So we create the lie, that everything is okay, that we are happy, and that life is better than we imagined it could be as a child. We wear this mask because that is what is expected of us. Every so often, a few of us are fortunate enough to find just one or two people with whom we can confide the truth in. I have that one person, but so many people I know do not. For those people, the mask becomes the reality, even though the mask is nothing more than a well-written lie.
At some point, wearing that mask for so long is going to exact a price on our mental well-being. Medicine has the answer; give them a drug that will help them fake it. Many doctors prescribe these drugs without ever demanding that their patient receive psychological help. And if they do get psychological help, many of these patients are treated by people who themselves wear masks. There's not much help and advice being received from someone who doesn't know how to live with themselves to begin with. The cycle becomes more vicious.
The patients are told that there has to be a reason, or maybe a few reasons why they are so unhappy. They are told to recall memories that might have caused this depression, or this anxiety. In truth, some people do have memories that cause depression and anxiety. But over fifty percent of all adults? I doubt it.
I think the mask is to blame. I don't think that mask is created in church; it's just that church is where people polish it specially to make it look its best. I think that mask is created from everything we learn and observe in our society. If church is part of your society, then church is partly to blame.
The mask is slavery. It is slavery to an image we cannot achieve. We control our emotions, and hide our feelings, and sooner or later, the mask takes over...on the outside. Meanwhile, the inside, the inner man is dying, screaming for release and celebration. The inner man is crying for someone to care enough so that we can take off this mask and be real. Most of all, the inner man is crying for us to have the courage to be ourselves so we don't have to fake it anymore.
Why do we fake it? Because we are afraid that the real me isn't acceptable, isn't lovable, and most of all, isn't even likable. Paxil will help you feel that you are; so will Xanax. But those two drugs only create another mask, effectively hiding the real you, possibly forever.
Would you like to know the real you? Would you like to see that the real you is lovable, AND likable? Would you like to live without fear of judgment and doubt in yourself because things didn't work out the way you planned as a child? Would you like to stop looking for ways to escape a reality that just hurts too much?
I'll bet you thought I was going to say the answer is Jesus. He's not the answer, though. He provided the way to the answer, showed us how to get to where He was going, but He's not a drug that fixes masks that we have worn all of our lives. He is the Way. And I will tell you this: in my life, Jesus provided the door to the real me. After He made it clear that God is not angry with us, that each of us is acceptable just as we are, things began to clear up a bit. But to believe that God was still angry at those who didn't believe caused a desire for all sorts of mask making in me. I had to show everybody I believed, so much in fear was I over being one of those who didn't believe enough. I created a mask, and sometimes, I still wear it.
But once I realized that the fear of hell was gone, that God is not an angry, condemning God at all, the reasons I had for wearing my mask disappeared one by one. And if everyone were redeemed, if even the worst of all sinners for all time was redeemed to my Father, then what need was there anymore for fear in me? What need, literally, was there to wear a mask?
We wear masks to hide things; to hide our identity, to hide what we really look like, and to hide what we are ashamed of. But when there is no condemnation forthcoming, what need have I of shame any longer?
Once I realized how total the love of God is, I realized that freedom was within my grasp. Once I realized that God was not partial to anyone, but a lover of everyone, I realized that my mask had been hiding the real me all of my life. I had been trying to hide the real me not only from myself and others, but from God, as if He could be fooled. Upon the realization of His total love for all of us, even me, I began my life as a free man.
Jesus isn't the drug that's going to cure you. He is the way to freedom. He is just some person on the pages of a big, big book, but He is real when we realize that here was a man who never had to worry about what others thought of Him, and he especially never had to fear what His Father thought of Him. He knew the truth, and the truth sets us free.
The lie is that hell is real, that God is so petty that at some point, He just can't take us anymore, and none of us really knows when that is. The lie is that God is so small that the slightest mistake in our life angers Him. The lie is that He is only pleased when we are behaving, as if God sits on a yo yo string that is attached to our actions. The lie is that God requires us to believe in order for us to be redeemed.
I must tell you this; if my redemption rests on my faith, then I will burn in hell, because I don't have any faith. Sure, there are moments filled with the realization of how much God loves me, and how I know Jesus to be my friend and savior. But most of my time is spent doubting these days, and for those of you who know me, you also know that I have just removed a mask in saying that. Are you surprised?
There may come a day when I have a chemical imbalance, and the need for drugs to regain some balance within will be met. There is nothing wrong, so far as I can see, with curing medical conditions. But by and large, drugs like Paxil and Xanax only paint a thicker mask. If people only realized that there is now nothing to fear, and no reason to hide, I think most of the reasons for Paxil would disappear. I think every reason for us to wear masks would evaporate. I think for all of us, most our lives would be spent being just who we are, rather than trying to be someone we are not.
11/12/2006
11/11/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER SEVEN
Tip of the day:
Although lighting a single branch of a pine tree on fire can be an awesomely spectacular thing, you probably shouldn't do it while in the midst of a forest of pine trees. I don't know why. I just thought I'd say that.
It sounds pretty good, though, doesn't it?
Although lighting a single branch of a pine tree on fire can be an awesomely spectacular thing, you probably shouldn't do it while in the midst of a forest of pine trees. I don't know why. I just thought I'd say that.
It sounds pretty good, though, doesn't it?
11/09/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER SIX
Tip of the day:
Do you know how when you stick your fingers into a moving fan belt on an automobile, oftentimes when you pull your fingers out, you're missing a couple?
Yeah...don't do that.
Do you know how when you stick your fingers into a moving fan belt on an automobile, oftentimes when you pull your fingers out, you're missing a couple?
Yeah...don't do that.
11/08/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIVE
Tip of the day:
Working blindfolded with a tablesaw may be hazardous to your health.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Working blindfolded with a tablesaw may be hazardous to your health.
Talk amongst yourselves.
11/07/2006
THE ANCIENTS REVISITED
As my two readers already know, I have been working on remodeling an old hospital into a nursing home as well as an assisted living facility. The project is at a stage now where parts of the building are being occupied, and about twelve of the Assisted Living apartments are being lived in.
This means I get to see some of the tenants every day. I can't tell you how pleased I am about all of this. It's one thing to build something, and see people enjoy it. That part of my job is unique from many other jobs in that what I build is actually lived in and enjoyed for many years by people of all ages. But this project will be lived in and enjoyed by my favorite age group; the ancients. And that makes it even more special to me.
Not only that, but because we still have four or so months left until completion, I will be seeing many of these people on a daily basis. I already know several of them on a first name basis. People like Earl, who worked hard all of his life in a factory, saved his money and earned a good pension, and who has decided to rent the most expensive unit available at this point; not because he NEEDS the most expensive unit, only because he can. He feels comfortable with his late wealth, and he wants to splurge on himself a bit. You would be hard pressed to argue against his self-pampering if you knew him as I do. He is truly a wonderful ancient to be around, instantly accommodating and very hospitable.
Irene moved in several weeks ago. It was touch and go for Irene for a few weeks, but today, she is up and at 'em once again. Irene could have gone anywhere. She could have rented a floor of a Hilton Hotel, complete with nurse, had she so desired. But she chose Northland Lodge (the name of the place I am remodeling) because her daughter-in-law is the administrator of the nursing home, and Irene wanted to spend more time with her. Isn't that amazing?
Edith has a hard time seeing. She has Menacular degeneration in both eyes, and is all but blind as she wanders the halls. But she is trusting and friendly. If she gets lost, there is always someone around to help her find her way. The cutest thing about Edith is that when she is offered help, she takes the person's arm, holds onto it, and allows herself to be guided wherever she intended to go. I was honored to have Edith take my arm just last week, and we talked and talked as we found the place she had originally set out for. Imagine that! A carpenter getting to escort an sweet lady like Edith just because he happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Now I know there are many people who shy away from the ancients, for various reasons. For some, it might be too uncomfortable to be around age. For others, it's a lack of self-confidence, or something else entirely.
If you are someone who shies away from the ancients, don't be ashamed of it; you aren't alone. Maybe your view of them is skewed because of a bad experience, or maybe you just don't understand where they are coming from. Whatever the case may be, there is always hope. I would recommend everyone visiting nursing homes and assisted living facilities, or simply visiting Amelia who might live just down the road. You see, it's not so hard, once you realize that they are you twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty years from now. And you are them, fifty, forty, thirty, or twenty years ago.
This world really is a small place, and people really are very much alike, even twenty-year-olds and eighty-five year olds have many things in common. But the one thing you can almost always get from an ancient is time. Our young friends are often simply too busy to be found. But the ancients, they are too wise to be too busy, and too smart to care that they aren't. They will almost always make time for you.
This means I get to see some of the tenants every day. I can't tell you how pleased I am about all of this. It's one thing to build something, and see people enjoy it. That part of my job is unique from many other jobs in that what I build is actually lived in and enjoyed for many years by people of all ages. But this project will be lived in and enjoyed by my favorite age group; the ancients. And that makes it even more special to me.
Not only that, but because we still have four or so months left until completion, I will be seeing many of these people on a daily basis. I already know several of them on a first name basis. People like Earl, who worked hard all of his life in a factory, saved his money and earned a good pension, and who has decided to rent the most expensive unit available at this point; not because he NEEDS the most expensive unit, only because he can. He feels comfortable with his late wealth, and he wants to splurge on himself a bit. You would be hard pressed to argue against his self-pampering if you knew him as I do. He is truly a wonderful ancient to be around, instantly accommodating and very hospitable.
Irene moved in several weeks ago. It was touch and go for Irene for a few weeks, but today, she is up and at 'em once again. Irene could have gone anywhere. She could have rented a floor of a Hilton Hotel, complete with nurse, had she so desired. But she chose Northland Lodge (the name of the place I am remodeling) because her daughter-in-law is the administrator of the nursing home, and Irene wanted to spend more time with her. Isn't that amazing?
Edith has a hard time seeing. She has Menacular degeneration in both eyes, and is all but blind as she wanders the halls. But she is trusting and friendly. If she gets lost, there is always someone around to help her find her way. The cutest thing about Edith is that when she is offered help, she takes the person's arm, holds onto it, and allows herself to be guided wherever she intended to go. I was honored to have Edith take my arm just last week, and we talked and talked as we found the place she had originally set out for. Imagine that! A carpenter getting to escort an sweet lady like Edith just because he happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Now I know there are many people who shy away from the ancients, for various reasons. For some, it might be too uncomfortable to be around age. For others, it's a lack of self-confidence, or something else entirely.
If you are someone who shies away from the ancients, don't be ashamed of it; you aren't alone. Maybe your view of them is skewed because of a bad experience, or maybe you just don't understand where they are coming from. Whatever the case may be, there is always hope. I would recommend everyone visiting nursing homes and assisted living facilities, or simply visiting Amelia who might live just down the road. You see, it's not so hard, once you realize that they are you twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty years from now. And you are them, fifty, forty, thirty, or twenty years ago.
This world really is a small place, and people really are very much alike, even twenty-year-olds and eighty-five year olds have many things in common. But the one thing you can almost always get from an ancient is time. Our young friends are often simply too busy to be found. But the ancients, they are too wise to be too busy, and too smart to care that they aren't. They will almost always make time for you.
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FOUR
Tip of the day:
If you are allergic to nuts, you probably shouldn't eat them.
Any questions?
If you are allergic to nuts, you probably shouldn't eat them.
Any questions?
11/06/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER THREE
Never...ever...touch the red button.
Why did you try to touch the red button?
Please explain yourself in the comments section.
11/05/2006
GOD, THE FRIENDLY SPIRIT
"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Parakletos); that He will be with you forever." John 14:16
Have you ever felt discouraged, at a breaking point, or ready to just give up? I have many times, and it is at these times that I need encouragement.
Parakaleo, or, "to encourage", is a Greek word used in many places within the New Testament. It is broken down into several different definitions, the two most common being "urge" and "encourage". As you see in the verse above, I took the liberty to insert the Greek word for the Holy Spirit, Parakletos.
There are many different interpretations of this word Parakletos, but the one I find that best suits it is encourager, or urger. After all, you don't find parakaleo being used in the context of "counseling" even once anywhere in the New Testament. It just isn't there, yet modern interpretations of the word Parakletos most often attribute "Counselor" as the meaning.
Using the context in which Jesus was speaking to His disciples, I find His use of the word Parakletos to be very significant. After all, He was telling them He was leaving them for a short while, and they were in need of comfort and encouragement. Thus, the name for the Spirit of God which we know today was born; Parakletos, or, encourager.
That doesn't sound real close to "Angry God", or "Judgmental God", does it? In fact, it actually sounds like "friendly God", as in, Casper the friendly Ghost, or God, the friendly, Holy, Spirit.
Let's just drop the word "holy" for now, because we all know that God is holy. Besides, the way many Christians use the word "holy", it tends to sound awful unfriendly, and Jesus was implicit in His meaning; The Spirit is friendly and encouraging.
There was a time in my past, when all alone, with a gun at my side and a letter written, the only encouragement I was going to find was an end; or at least I thought. But from nowhere, encouragement came, and I lived. There was no one around to help me, no man, woman, or child. There was no priest, pastor, or elder; heck, the radio and TV weren't even on. How do you explain being suddenly encouraged to go on when there is no external source encouraging you?
Take a look at the first part of Parakletos. The Greek word para means "from" or "among, or "with". The friendly Spirit is so friendly, He lives with us, and is a voice encouraging us, within us. That agrees with my experience of all the times I have been encouraged without any external means of encouragement nearby.
I wonder...has it ever happened for you?
God, The Father...The Friendly Spirit. The encourager. He is sounding more and more like someone who wouldn't know anything at all about a hell as described by Christians. But if you need a friend, if you need encouragement, then God is your man. The Parakletos, the Friendly Spirit, is with us now, and with us forever, all of us; even if you say you don't believe.
Have you ever felt discouraged, at a breaking point, or ready to just give up? I have many times, and it is at these times that I need encouragement.
Parakaleo, or, "to encourage", is a Greek word used in many places within the New Testament. It is broken down into several different definitions, the two most common being "urge" and "encourage". As you see in the verse above, I took the liberty to insert the Greek word for the Holy Spirit, Parakletos.
There are many different interpretations of this word Parakletos, but the one I find that best suits it is encourager, or urger. After all, you don't find parakaleo being used in the context of "counseling" even once anywhere in the New Testament. It just isn't there, yet modern interpretations of the word Parakletos most often attribute "Counselor" as the meaning.
Using the context in which Jesus was speaking to His disciples, I find His use of the word Parakletos to be very significant. After all, He was telling them He was leaving them for a short while, and they were in need of comfort and encouragement. Thus, the name for the Spirit of God which we know today was born; Parakletos, or, encourager.
That doesn't sound real close to "Angry God", or "Judgmental God", does it? In fact, it actually sounds like "friendly God", as in, Casper the friendly Ghost, or God, the friendly, Holy, Spirit.
Let's just drop the word "holy" for now, because we all know that God is holy. Besides, the way many Christians use the word "holy", it tends to sound awful unfriendly, and Jesus was implicit in His meaning; The Spirit is friendly and encouraging.
There was a time in my past, when all alone, with a gun at my side and a letter written, the only encouragement I was going to find was an end; or at least I thought. But from nowhere, encouragement came, and I lived. There was no one around to help me, no man, woman, or child. There was no priest, pastor, or elder; heck, the radio and TV weren't even on. How do you explain being suddenly encouraged to go on when there is no external source encouraging you?
Take a look at the first part of Parakletos. The Greek word para means "from" or "among, or "with". The friendly Spirit is so friendly, He lives with us, and is a voice encouraging us, within us. That agrees with my experience of all the times I have been encouraged without any external means of encouragement nearby.
I wonder...has it ever happened for you?
God, The Father...The Friendly Spirit. The encourager. He is sounding more and more like someone who wouldn't know anything at all about a hell as described by Christians. But if you need a friend, if you need encouragement, then God is your man. The Parakletos, the Friendly Spirit, is with us now, and with us forever, all of us; even if you say you don't believe.
11/04/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER TWO
Tip of the day
Always wait one half hour after eating before swimming...or something like that.
However, if you are on a boat that is sinking and you've just finished lunch only minutes ago, you are going to have to swim despite this excellent advice.
Always wait one half hour after eating before swimming...or something like that.
However, if you are on a boat that is sinking and you've just finished lunch only minutes ago, you are going to have to swim despite this excellent advice.
11/03/2006
GROSS TOESTIES
Do you remember the cereal Post Toasties? I believe they were something similar to Kellogg's Corn Flakes, only they were the Post brand of Corn Flakes. While driving home from Subway last night, my daughter and I began a tangent from a circular conversation that wound up spawning the idea for a new cereal. Our tangent also spawned about five solid minutes of laughter.
The conversation started while we were still inside of a Subway restaurant, awaiting our order. I placed an order for the new Blackened Steak Sub sandwich, while Ally ordered her turkey and whatever-else-she-wants-on-it-at the-moment sandwich. The server asked me if I would like my sub toasted, to which I answered, "yes".
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my daughter look towards my sandwich as it was being prepared, and make a face. It wasn't the kind of face you would even notice if you didn't know Ally well, but being her father, I have an insider's track into all of her faces and expressions, and this one shouted "eeeyeeww!" to me louder than if she had actually said it. To her credit, she held her tongue for the most part while we were inside of Subway. As we walked out the door, she mentioned that "Your sandwich is a gross toasty one".
I don't know why my mind works the way it does, but the words "gross toasty" reminded me of Post Toasties, which of course rhymes, which is possibly why the words "gross toasty" morphed into Gross Toasties during the time it took to walk out the Subway door to the point where I opened my truck door.
As soon as we were inside of my truck, I blurted out, "Eeyew! Gross Toasties!" Ally laughed, and from there, we were off to the tangent races. At some point, I told Ally about Post Toasties; what they were, and how her words "Gross toasty" reminded me of them. Then I mentioned that we could make a new cereal, called Gross Toasties, to which she gave her best "eeyew!" face yet. If you have never seen the face of a fourteen year old girl as she thinks "Eeyew!", rent one, and say something gross. I promise you, it will be the only moment you will ever see a fourteen year old girl not care what she looks like. The look is simply hilarious, almost as hilarious as the "My Daddy is an idiot" face, which is practiced by every fourteen year old girl because they want it to look just right.
You can imagine our conversation from that point on. Somehow, Gross Toasties became Gross Toes-ties, a cereal shaped like big toes, which incorporated a play on the word "gross", using the German definition for that word, meaning "big" or "large".
As we drove onward, the cereal began to take on even greater (or grosser) definition, changing from "gross" meaning big to "gross" meaning...well...gross, disgusting. Take your pick, the toes can be either gross or big; I'm not fussed over which language or meaning of the word "gross" we use. The implications are the same. Imagine a bowl filled with milk and crunchy corn flour and oat kibbles that look like big toes.
Imagine further if you will, and as we did while we were headed home, that these kibbles shaped like big toes also smell like feet, and are detailed to the point where toe nails are visible, and there is green and black in the place where the toe nail resides. The toe itself would be alternating tan or brown colored.
For a scrumptious addition using marshmallows colored like your favorite dirty socks, we introduced toe jam into the mix. Gross Toesties is not only healthy, but also tasty.
Of course any new cereal is going to require an aggressive advertising campaign, and for our initial commercials, we chose to use a British actor with a cockney accent, standing in front of a pyramid of Gross Toesties cereal boxes with children climbing all over him to get at the display. The actor stands silently for twenty seconds as the camera pans from the children to the pyramid, settling on a closeup of one cereal box, displaying a bowl of Gross Toesties flooded with milk, which has turned, amazingly enough, green. Superimposed over the bowl of cereal are the very words the British actor with a cockney accent is about to utter.
"Gross Toesties! Smells like feet...but they're good to eat!"
The conversation started while we were still inside of a Subway restaurant, awaiting our order. I placed an order for the new Blackened Steak Sub sandwich, while Ally ordered her turkey and whatever-else-she-wants-on-it-at the-moment sandwich. The server asked me if I would like my sub toasted, to which I answered, "yes".
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my daughter look towards my sandwich as it was being prepared, and make a face. It wasn't the kind of face you would even notice if you didn't know Ally well, but being her father, I have an insider's track into all of her faces and expressions, and this one shouted "eeeyeeww!" to me louder than if she had actually said it. To her credit, she held her tongue for the most part while we were inside of Subway. As we walked out the door, she mentioned that "Your sandwich is a gross toasty one".
I don't know why my mind works the way it does, but the words "gross toasty" reminded me of Post Toasties, which of course rhymes, which is possibly why the words "gross toasty" morphed into Gross Toasties during the time it took to walk out the Subway door to the point where I opened my truck door.
As soon as we were inside of my truck, I blurted out, "Eeyew! Gross Toasties!" Ally laughed, and from there, we were off to the tangent races. At some point, I told Ally about Post Toasties; what they were, and how her words "Gross toasty" reminded me of them. Then I mentioned that we could make a new cereal, called Gross Toasties, to which she gave her best "eeyew!" face yet. If you have never seen the face of a fourteen year old girl as she thinks "Eeyew!", rent one, and say something gross. I promise you, it will be the only moment you will ever see a fourteen year old girl not care what she looks like. The look is simply hilarious, almost as hilarious as the "My Daddy is an idiot" face, which is practiced by every fourteen year old girl because they want it to look just right.
You can imagine our conversation from that point on. Somehow, Gross Toasties became Gross Toes-ties, a cereal shaped like big toes, which incorporated a play on the word "gross", using the German definition for that word, meaning "big" or "large".
As we drove onward, the cereal began to take on even greater (or grosser) definition, changing from "gross" meaning big to "gross" meaning...well...gross, disgusting. Take your pick, the toes can be either gross or big; I'm not fussed over which language or meaning of the word "gross" we use. The implications are the same. Imagine a bowl filled with milk and crunchy corn flour and oat kibbles that look like big toes.
Imagine further if you will, and as we did while we were headed home, that these kibbles shaped like big toes also smell like feet, and are detailed to the point where toe nails are visible, and there is green and black in the place where the toe nail resides. The toe itself would be alternating tan or brown colored.
For a scrumptious addition using marshmallows colored like your favorite dirty socks, we introduced toe jam into the mix. Gross Toesties is not only healthy, but also tasty.
Of course any new cereal is going to require an aggressive advertising campaign, and for our initial commercials, we chose to use a British actor with a cockney accent, standing in front of a pyramid of Gross Toesties cereal boxes with children climbing all over him to get at the display. The actor stands silently for twenty seconds as the camera pans from the children to the pyramid, settling on a closeup of one cereal box, displaying a bowl of Gross Toesties flooded with milk, which has turned, amazingly enough, green. Superimposed over the bowl of cereal are the very words the British actor with a cockney accent is about to utter.
"Gross Toesties! Smells like feet...but they're good to eat!"
11/02/2006
BLAZING FAST
I have not been able to play in bloggyland for the last two days. My computer puked, you see.
I woke up on Wednesday morning, turned on my computer as usual, noticed that my little blue power light was struggling mightily, and my system wouldn't boot. I knew what this was, as I have experienced similar blasts in the past. My power supply unit was dying. "Someone please save him!" I cried, but to no avail.
I took my computer to the emergency room, where I proceeded to tell the disc doctor what was wrong. She claimed it could be my video card. I knew better.
$ 232 later, I have my computer back, and it is blazing fast. For a senior citizen (my computer is two and a half years old), my computer flies with the newborns, again.
I had the computer doctor add 516 megabytes of RAM. But the most important thing I did was to nuke Norton System Services, which includes a program called Norton "Go Back". That program is easily the most belligerent computer application I have ever encountered. My computer is in my bedroom, and even at three o'clock in the morning, I would wake up to find my computer accessing its hard drive, after being idle for five hours!
Now, I am back, and my computer pleases me again. I am sorry if you stopped by and saw no activity here. I expect to have a new post in place tomorrow incorporating a very funny event that took place in my life on Tuesday night, and which I had hoped to post on Wednesday evening.
In the meantime, may the God of computers bless you in ways He did not bless me in this week. Take care ALL.
You belong to a family of love, not a family of strife.
I woke up on Wednesday morning, turned on my computer as usual, noticed that my little blue power light was struggling mightily, and my system wouldn't boot. I knew what this was, as I have experienced similar blasts in the past. My power supply unit was dying. "Someone please save him!" I cried, but to no avail.
I took my computer to the emergency room, where I proceeded to tell the disc doctor what was wrong. She claimed it could be my video card. I knew better.
$ 232 later, I have my computer back, and it is blazing fast. For a senior citizen (my computer is two and a half years old), my computer flies with the newborns, again.
I had the computer doctor add 516 megabytes of RAM. But the most important thing I did was to nuke Norton System Services, which includes a program called Norton "Go Back". That program is easily the most belligerent computer application I have ever encountered. My computer is in my bedroom, and even at three o'clock in the morning, I would wake up to find my computer accessing its hard drive, after being idle for five hours!
Now, I am back, and my computer pleases me again. I am sorry if you stopped by and saw no activity here. I expect to have a new post in place tomorrow incorporating a very funny event that took place in my life on Tuesday night, and which I had hoped to post on Wednesday evening.
In the meantime, may the God of computers bless you in ways He did not bless me in this week. Take care ALL.
You belong to a family of love, not a family of strife.
10/30/2006
TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER ONE
Tip of the Day:
Don't walk between parked cars.
If I can just interject for a moment; isn't it plain to see that if you don't walk between parked cars, you'll never get home? Heck, many people have to walk between parked cars just to get from their driveway to their house. What are they supposed to do? And how does one get into a car if his car is parked on the far side of the garage?
Sooner or later, if you want to get anywhere, you have to take the risk, and walk between parked cars.
Unless you take the bus...but don't take the bus heading nowhere.
Don't walk between parked cars.
If I can just interject for a moment; isn't it plain to see that if you don't walk between parked cars, you'll never get home? Heck, many people have to walk between parked cars just to get from their driveway to their house. What are they supposed to do? And how does one get into a car if his car is parked on the far side of the garage?
Sooner or later, if you want to get anywhere, you have to take the risk, and walk between parked cars.
Unless you take the bus...but don't take the bus heading nowhere.
10/29/2006
THE PARTY LINE?
What is the largest complaint I hear people tell me about the politicians we elect?
With the elections looming on the horizon, and with so many people (possibly everybody) dissatisfied with their government officials, I thought now might be the time to share my opinion about this year's elections.
With the elections looming on the horizon, and with so many people (possibly everybody) dissatisfied with their government officials, I thought now might be the time to share my opinion about this year's elections.
From my history, I have never been a republican or a democrat, although I have voted for members of both parties at times. I struggle to find the perspective of others who tell me they ALWAYS vote democrat or they ALWAYS vote republican. I just can't relate to such blind (or maybe wise?) loyalty.
Considering that I haven't met a person who is completely satisfied with the US government, nor have I met a person who is even content with our government's performance, it strikes me as odd that so many vote the "party line". This becomes especially odd when you consider that there are usually almost equal numbers of both parties in each branch of government at any time, meaning that you can't really blame one party or the other for the current woes.
What it does mean is that you can blame both parties, and if we are going to be fair and balanced, then we must. I never understand why an adult in any area of our nation will blame one party or the other, while turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the party he usually supports. Look at the facts; members of both parties SHARE the duties of congress and senate, which act as checks and balances against the executive and judicial branches of our government.
This year, I'd like to encourage you to do something different; even if for the last fifty years, you have voted republican, or for the last sixty years, you have voted democrat.
This year, I'd like to encourage you to consider the two parties as nonexistent, and simply vote for the person (not the party) who you think best defines what this country is all about. That means you might have to do some research, but if we are ever going to get off this dead stalemate of corrupt, rotten, dead-in-their-skins patrician politicians, we are going to have to kill their parties first. We are going to have to take the power of their party away, and make them vote according to issue, and not according to party.
It starts with us. We cannot expect our politicians to vote anything but the party line if we don't do it first.
Have you guessed yet what the largest complaint I hear is? I'll give it to you straight. "I wish our politicians would vote their conscience, and not their party".
You can make them do it.
But you are going to have to kill their party first, and you can only do that by voting YOUR conscience.
Things are never hopeless in this redeemed world of Christ. We in America are more free than we dare grab hold of. The vote is not worthless, unless you choose to vote "no contest" and hand the power to the patrician politicians by voting the usual party line.
I think it's high time we make voting a contest again, and make the politicians do what they say they will do. And if you should happen to run into a couple of politicians whose only advertisement for themselves is to cut their opponent down, treat them as though they don't exist on the ballot. For myself, I stand by what my mother told me a long time ago; If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Wouldn't it be nice if our politicians campaigned that way, too?
Remember, all of this is just surface stuff. The deeper issues belong to God, and He'll never abandon you, or throw mud at an opponent. You belong to a family of love, not a family of strife. Whenever I think of that, I always find renewed strength in the hope for mankind.
You all belong to a family of love.
Considering that I haven't met a person who is completely satisfied with the US government, nor have I met a person who is even content with our government's performance, it strikes me as odd that so many vote the "party line". This becomes especially odd when you consider that there are usually almost equal numbers of both parties in each branch of government at any time, meaning that you can't really blame one party or the other for the current woes.
What it does mean is that you can blame both parties, and if we are going to be fair and balanced, then we must. I never understand why an adult in any area of our nation will blame one party or the other, while turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the party he usually supports. Look at the facts; members of both parties SHARE the duties of congress and senate, which act as checks and balances against the executive and judicial branches of our government.
This year, I'd like to encourage you to do something different; even if for the last fifty years, you have voted republican, or for the last sixty years, you have voted democrat.
This year, I'd like to encourage you to consider the two parties as nonexistent, and simply vote for the person (not the party) who you think best defines what this country is all about. That means you might have to do some research, but if we are ever going to get off this dead stalemate of corrupt, rotten, dead-in-their-skins patrician politicians, we are going to have to kill their parties first. We are going to have to take the power of their party away, and make them vote according to issue, and not according to party.
It starts with us. We cannot expect our politicians to vote anything but the party line if we don't do it first.
Have you guessed yet what the largest complaint I hear is? I'll give it to you straight. "I wish our politicians would vote their conscience, and not their party".
You can make them do it.
But you are going to have to kill their party first, and you can only do that by voting YOUR conscience.
Things are never hopeless in this redeemed world of Christ. We in America are more free than we dare grab hold of. The vote is not worthless, unless you choose to vote "no contest" and hand the power to the patrician politicians by voting the usual party line.
I think it's high time we make voting a contest again, and make the politicians do what they say they will do. And if you should happen to run into a couple of politicians whose only advertisement for themselves is to cut their opponent down, treat them as though they don't exist on the ballot. For myself, I stand by what my mother told me a long time ago; If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Wouldn't it be nice if our politicians campaigned that way, too?
Remember, all of this is just surface stuff. The deeper issues belong to God, and He'll never abandon you, or throw mud at an opponent. You belong to a family of love, not a family of strife. Whenever I think of that, I always find renewed strength in the hope for mankind.
You all belong to a family of love.
10/19/2006
YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND
All people are the same.
All people are different.
How can this be?
In my experiences throughout this thirty-nine year old life, I have learned many things about people, and I know I have much, much more to learn still. Here is what I know:
1. All people who are in their right mind (please don't ask me to explain what "in their right mind is"; I just hope there is a commonality we can begin from) tend to shy away from pain.
2. All people feel anguish or hurt in the same situations. Some will openly admit their pain, while others (especially men) will put up a brave front. But the common ground is that what hurts you will also hurt me. I know this simplifies things, but for the sake of discussion, let's leave it simple.
3. All people carry on internal "conversations". In other words, no, you aren't the only one who is crazy enough to talk to yourself inside of your own mind.
4. All people struggle with seeing their "neighbor" as a real person. This is not to say we ignore their humanity. We simply fail to cross the divide between the two of us, because we live out only one perspective; our own.
5. All people crave true love (not romantic love). True love is the type that not only loves its neighbor, but likes them as well; is willing to accept any fault and forgive any wrong, rejoices with triumphs and collaborates with calamity, and hopes to receive the same from someone...anyone.
6. All people feel lonely at times; some feel lonely all of the time.
7. Despite what Freud says, sex is not the driving factor in a person's life. Sex is merely eye candy, surface waves; no deeper than a tumbleweed crossing your path in a high wind. All people crave to be accepted. That is the single most important driving influence in any person's life. We like to be liked. We crave it. We want everyone to see how wonderful we are, even if we can't admit those words out loud.
There is much more, but this list of things I have learned has come at great cost, and through many mistakes in my life. Now, if you look at this list again, can you see why Jesus Christ is so attractive to so many people who hear of his story? Even those who are stuck in Christian legalism believe Jesus has a special soft spot for them inside of his heart. Despite century upon century of manipulation and sheer audacity, the one thing the church has failed to kill is overwhelming ability of Jesus to say in any way, "I truly love you".
I have met many fine people in my life; some of whom were so afraid to do anything wrong that they were living in a kind of daily self-fulfilling prison. Others were so free that you wondered what their secret was. But each person I met who knew Jesus, even the devoutest Lutherans and Catholics, knew they had a friend in Jesus, despite anything and everything they had ever done.
Some have closed their eyes to Jesus, but in the end, they will know he is their friend as well, because the message of His life was not to condemn, but to befriend. "No greater love has man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". I can't recall the verse number or chapter, and I don't care. Jesus doesn't care either. He just knows that I know I have a friend in Him.
Even the most guilt ridden people I have met held in their hearts this secret place that they share with few others; the place where Jesus lives, and says to them, "Everything is going to be alright. You'll see". It is the place where hope lives, and whether you know Jesus or you don't, he is alive in you, and breathing words of comfort and hope, and of a future that has to be...just HAS to be, better than this.
Sometimes things are so good that you can't imagine things could be better than this. But being alive and free, and under the full knowledge that whereas once you didn't know you had a friend in Jesus, now He has revealed himself to you fully; well friends, life don't get better than that, no matter what happens from here on out.
All people are different.
How can this be?
In my experiences throughout this thirty-nine year old life, I have learned many things about people, and I know I have much, much more to learn still. Here is what I know:
1. All people who are in their right mind (please don't ask me to explain what "in their right mind is"; I just hope there is a commonality we can begin from) tend to shy away from pain.
2. All people feel anguish or hurt in the same situations. Some will openly admit their pain, while others (especially men) will put up a brave front. But the common ground is that what hurts you will also hurt me. I know this simplifies things, but for the sake of discussion, let's leave it simple.
3. All people carry on internal "conversations". In other words, no, you aren't the only one who is crazy enough to talk to yourself inside of your own mind.
4. All people struggle with seeing their "neighbor" as a real person. This is not to say we ignore their humanity. We simply fail to cross the divide between the two of us, because we live out only one perspective; our own.
5. All people crave true love (not romantic love). True love is the type that not only loves its neighbor, but likes them as well; is willing to accept any fault and forgive any wrong, rejoices with triumphs and collaborates with calamity, and hopes to receive the same from someone...anyone.
6. All people feel lonely at times; some feel lonely all of the time.
7. Despite what Freud says, sex is not the driving factor in a person's life. Sex is merely eye candy, surface waves; no deeper than a tumbleweed crossing your path in a high wind. All people crave to be accepted. That is the single most important driving influence in any person's life. We like to be liked. We crave it. We want everyone to see how wonderful we are, even if we can't admit those words out loud.
There is much more, but this list of things I have learned has come at great cost, and through many mistakes in my life. Now, if you look at this list again, can you see why Jesus Christ is so attractive to so many people who hear of his story? Even those who are stuck in Christian legalism believe Jesus has a special soft spot for them inside of his heart. Despite century upon century of manipulation and sheer audacity, the one thing the church has failed to kill is overwhelming ability of Jesus to say in any way, "I truly love you".
I have met many fine people in my life; some of whom were so afraid to do anything wrong that they were living in a kind of daily self-fulfilling prison. Others were so free that you wondered what their secret was. But each person I met who knew Jesus, even the devoutest Lutherans and Catholics, knew they had a friend in Jesus, despite anything and everything they had ever done.
Some have closed their eyes to Jesus, but in the end, they will know he is their friend as well, because the message of His life was not to condemn, but to befriend. "No greater love has man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". I can't recall the verse number or chapter, and I don't care. Jesus doesn't care either. He just knows that I know I have a friend in Him.
Even the most guilt ridden people I have met held in their hearts this secret place that they share with few others; the place where Jesus lives, and says to them, "Everything is going to be alright. You'll see". It is the place where hope lives, and whether you know Jesus or you don't, he is alive in you, and breathing words of comfort and hope, and of a future that has to be...just HAS to be, better than this.
Sometimes things are so good that you can't imagine things could be better than this. But being alive and free, and under the full knowledge that whereas once you didn't know you had a friend in Jesus, now He has revealed himself to you fully; well friends, life don't get better than that, no matter what happens from here on out.
10/17/2006
I AM HERE
Yes, I'm still alive, and I have no intention of closing down this blog. I have just been sick for two and a half weeks (still am). I get up at five a.m. and go to work for ten hours. I come home, make supper, spend some time with my daughter, and go to bed, starting the same cycle over the next day. This is how it will be until I feel healthy again. I really don't have much desire to do anything else right now.
I am sure I will feel better soon. In the meantime, enjoy the World Series, and watching your favorite politician lie on TV, while your favorite talking head pontificates, and says, "Yes, but WHAT'S it ALL about Basil?"
I am sure I will feel better soon. In the meantime, enjoy the World Series, and watching your favorite politician lie on TV, while your favorite talking head pontificates, and says, "Yes, but WHAT'S it ALL about Basil?"
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