11/06/2005

JUST A FEW GOOD THINGS

If I expect to be good at something, is it wrong when I react in disappointment, if I turn out to be not as good as I expected to be?

I’d like to hear your opinion about that, seriously.

I have been doing some thinking lately. This freedom we have seems to be useful for something, after all. As I was thinking the other day, I realized that there are definitely some things I am good at. Then, I realized there are some things I am very good at; you might almost say I excel in them.

So, what do I do with this knowledge? It is a dangerous knowledge, I think, yet a necessary one, to discover what we are good at. I consider these things to be gifts from God…I really do. Not everyone may agree with that, and that’s okay; I understand if you don’t.

Let’s say I am good at being a daddy. My daughter seems to think I am, and there are times where I am able to display levels of compassion and self-control that I see no where else in my life. Then, there are times when I feel like the worst father in the world. I could bury myself with guilt.

But I’ve come to realize that if I possess these skills, such as a skill in carpentry, I should do something with it. What can I do?

At the risk of sounding conceited, I will say right now that I think I should push myself to become perfect in these things.

Hold on there, I’m not talking about earning God’s pleasure here. I already have that. But I AM talking about taking the few things I know I am good at, and beginning to excel at them. If I do that, certain expectations are naturally going to arise. Is there danger in these expectations? Am I safe to strive at the things I am good at, reaching toward perfection? Or am I setting myself up for a major disappointment.

Before you answer the disappointment question, ask yourself this; what right do we have to expect that we will never be disappointed? And if we have this freedom now to strive without being judged, wouldn’t the greater disappointment lie in doing nothing? In always wondering how good we could have done?

What heights can we reach? Can we ever know if we never try?

I have been given a few things to be good at. I know I don’t HAVE to be good at them, my destiny doesn’t hinge on my performance. But now that the pressure’s off, just how good can I get at these things? I wonder if it makes a difference, this knowing that the pressure is off.

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