12/20/2006

POST REGURGITATION

It struck me today how long I have been at this blogging thing. I think my log-in button said there had been 469 posts since I first began? Is that right ? Being curious, I looked back to find my first ever post. (Don't worry, I won't post that ugly thing here, other than to say Bruce was the very first commenter here ever) It was on June 20, 2004. That means I have been in Bloggyland for two and one-half years, to the date. How time flies.

So, I asked myself, "What's the laziest way I can celebrate that, and share it with all of you?"

I think I found it. It's a post regurgitation, from the year 2004. It's called Sunday Evening Thoughts. I have not changed it one bit. My daughter is fourteen now, though she was twelve then. The list of rules still applies. Read on, and I hope you enjoy.


It’s Sunday evening, and it’s raining. What has this world done to my daughter?


I asked her if she wanted to go outside with me in the rain, and just play, run around like a bunch of nuts. You know what she did? She gave me that LOOK. You know the one. It’s the look that twelve year olds are famous for, and I have been getting it quite a bit lately.


It’s the look that asks, “Daddy, are you an idiot?” I love watching her grow up, but I’m not sure about this look. Did she learn it from me? I hope not!


And hey!!! I told her to stop growing up four years ago! What’s with this gross disobedience? Did she learn that from me as well? What punishments can I levy for this? I clearly told her, ”No more maturing, no more growing. From now on, you will be eight, forever.” What is this world coming to when our children misbehave like this?


Seriously, I am looking forward to the next few years, say four or five, with anticipation, and a very, very heavy dose of anxiety. Let’s see, she is twelve now…………..so in five years, she will be seventeen. Aaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!!!#@!@#!!


I have so much to look forward to, and so much to worry about. Take for instance, dating. My daughter isn’t going to date until she’s married. What’s that, you ask? “How can she get married if she doesn’t date?” Now you’re gettin’ it.


Okay, so I can’t keep her from dating, I know that. But this I also know; the poor chap who kisses her first will be beaten within an inch of his life, so he better wait until he asks her to marry him. Then, I might only pound him with my baseball bat a FEW times. We’ll see, it all depends on how I feel that day, because you never can tell, right?


Actually, none of that will PROBABLY happen, but I make no promises at this point. I just am really not looking forward to it all. I know how I was at seventeen. So she better steer clear of guys who are like I was. And I will be able to tell.


I will simply meet this fine upstanding youth at the door, ask him inside, and lay down the ground rules. Here they are, or at least a partial list:


1. Kissing is as far as you can go with my daughter.

2. Kissing is forbidden, so rule # 1 is really just built-in redundancy.

3. If you pick her up at 8:00 pm, she must be home at 8:15 pm, on the same day.

4. No driving is allowed, so rule # 3 is again, just built in redundancy.

5. If she says no to anything, and you disregard it, I will kill you.

6. If you go further than rule # 2, I will kill you.

7. If you think my daughter is a punching bag, run fast, because I’m one of those guys who LIKES hitting men who hit women.

8. Holding hands is allowed (hey! I’m not an ogre!), …………..so long as you wear surgical gloves.

9. Throw away the breath mints, or breath spray, you won’t be needing them tonight. Kindly see rule # 2.

10. Bow to me upon entering, and leaving, for I am king. : D


There is going to be a whole host of other rules, but for now, I have time, this will have to do.



Now, where’s that baseball bat?

8 comments:

Ellie said...

I'm so grateful that my dad never polished his gun on the front step when i brought my first boyfriend round like he said he would. instead he just told him lots of stories about the times he kicked ass in the armed forces, i think it got the same idea across. lol.

Jonathan said...

You might get a kick out of this:

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

Jonathan

SteveW said...

Hey Tom, I just wanted to stop by and wish you and your precious daughter a wonderful Christmas season.

You and I started blogging almost exactly at the same time. Glad we connected bro.

Tom Reindl said...

Steve,

I remember it well. It took me a little longer to see the light than you, but I am glad to have see it at all. I can rest easy now. Thank you for your friendship

Tom Reindl said...

I posted this for Bruce since he is having troubles commenting with the new Blogger

Hi Tom!



I can’t comment on your blog, so I’ll send you my thought via email…



Thanks for the reminder... I had forgotten that I had the honor of being your first commenter! I love where this journey has taken us all, and look forward to many more incredible insights along the way!



Merry Christmas to all!

Anonymous said...

Tom, Bruce was the first to comment on my blog too. He is quite a guy. And by the way, I raised three daughters, and I don't envy you one bit as you start to go through the dating years. But, I survived, my daughters survived, and so will you and yours. Merry Christmas to All.

Cliff

Tom Reindl said...

jonathan,

Thanks, I printed it out. I will make a few changes to it, to sort of personalize it, and then make copies. I think it will mesh well with the rules.

Tom Reindl said...

Cliff,

I know I and my daughter will survive, but who mourns for those young boys who won't? :)