TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY-FIVE

Tip of the Day:


Never stick your finger into a light socket, unless you're trying to see what's in there.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY-FOUR

Tip of the day:


Standing up in the middle of an airplane and shouting, "Stay away from me!" isn't going to get you a better seat.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY-THREE

Tip of the Dat:


Washing your eyes out with a caustic solution is really only a drastic last resort for changing the way you see yourself in a mirror. I don't recommend it unless you really, really want to.

THE EASIEST RELATIONSHIP YOU WILL EVER ENJOY

I left this comment at a friends blog, and I thought I'd share it with you, because to me, this marks the truth of my life, and understanding it is the beginning of freedom and salvation for me. Maybe it might help you, too.

"You are right; it is about relationship. But you don't need to do anything to experience that relationship because He lives within you, and all of your experiences include Him. He is not the needy, clinging God that Churches make Him out to be. What He desired, He did on his own, by welcoming himself into your life. That wasn't a choice you, or any of us made. I guess my advice would be to relax, and every so often, remember God, because try as hard as you might, when you have to force yourself to "spend time with God", you're missing the beauty and freedom of the truth, which is; God is ALWAYS with you, and you don't have to go anywhere, or do anything special to be with Him. "

Just be, and you have already done what you set out to do. Just be, and already, he is with you, and you are with him. Relationships don't get easier than that.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY-TWO

Tip of the Day:


Slinging mud about things a political opponent has done in the past isn't very nice, and probably won't win you an election. It's much better to make up current stories about them.

I'M IN!!!

A few days ago, I announced that I had formed a Presidential Exploratory Committee. There was nothing presidential about it, nevertheless, we have concluded that I am running for president.

What has caused this turn of events? I think nearly everything "political" has caused it, but the twenty billionth political straw that broke the donkey/elephants back was the latest political "statement" made by our new democratic powerhouse; the Nonbinding Resolution against the Iraq Troop increase. Oops! Did I say increase? Oh no, the first politically incorrect statement of my "political" career. I meant, "surge".

Yeah, and I didn't inhale, either.

What in the Sam hell tarnation effing blue sky over these amber waves of grain is a non-binding resolution? Does it mean our politicians are resolved to be non-committal? Does it mean more Washington wishy-washyness? Clearly, if it is non-binding, then nothing has been resolved; therefore, why bother calling it a resolution? Is the answer to that question something I will have to learn in my first days as president of the United States? Will I have to learn how to use the English language in mysterious and silly ways, all in hopes of confusing my constituents so much with my goofy, adjective laden rhetoric that in the end, they re-elect me because anyone who can sound so goofy all the while keeping a straight face MUST know what he is talking about? (See...I've been taking lessons...PO-litical lessons, that is)

My first act as President of the United States will be to introduce a plan that requires all elected senators and congresspeople to actually take a stand on an issue, rather than waiting to find out which side is the wrong side, and then stating "I was against that allllllllllll along!" in front of the nearest spin machine.

Say what you want about President Bush (i am no fan of his), but currently in Washington, he is the only politician who has balls big enough to make a decision and stand by it. Oops! Did I say "balls"? I meant "courage", for you lady folk out there. His trouble is, possibly, he listens to the people who themselves don't know what in the hell is going on.

My next act? I will introduce a plan that outlaws political parties in this country. Imagine a group of politicians actually having to stand on their own two feet, and decide according to their conscience, what path is best?

You're right, that is hard to imagine, isn't it? Well, looks like, after we have the mass burial for all the current politicians who committed suicide because they couldn't cope with having to carry around a sack of balls, we'll just have to elect new senators and congresspeople, won't we? And we won't let them learn the old way of American politics, will we? Because the next bit of legislation will be to limit not just the president's tenure to two terms, but all elected officials to two terms, so that we can be sure to continue with politicians who aren't in it to get re-elected, but rather, are in it to get the job done right.

Currently in Washington, we have a group of princes and princesses who believe that the American people elected them to maintain the status quo; only with the democratic party in control. Yes, you see, because the democrats are younger and better looking, and it's so much better to get screwed by young, good looking politicians, than by old, cigar smoking republican politicians.

Next bit of work to be done as President? Send two to three thousand American Tanks to Baghdad. If we are going to be in that country, then let's put our soldiers in the most protective vehicles we have. Then, we can tell the terrorists, "Throw your IED at this", and laugh. We will truly then show how pitiful a suicide bomber is, when the only person he blows up is himself. Let that happen about a hundred times, and then let's see how willing the young radicals are to jump in front of a tank that barely moves while they are disintegrating. Like I said, if we have to be there.....

Maybe I'll write more about my bid for the highest office in this nation. Will you join me in the revolution? Let's hear your ideas.

Remember, no idea, on this blog, is ever too goofy.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY-ONE

Tip of the Day:


If someone sees you picking a nose booger, you might as well let them see you eat it, too.

TABLESERVER SERVES UP A GOOD POST ON LABELS

My friend Steve has a very good post running at his TABLESERVER blog, regarding division (no, he's not talking about math) and labels. Go over and read it. And while you're at it, make sure to say hi to Steve as well.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FIFTY

Tip of the Day:


If your boss yells at you today, roll your eyes up into your head, and make sure he sees you do it. When he gets angrier at you, patiently explain that there is a reason you rolled your eyes up.





You better have a good reason waiting.

THOSE WHO WERE ONCE IGNORED

I am learning a lot about many different people, these days. I think it comes from knowing that I am okay with God, without having to do anything. I find myself listening to people more, or paying attention to their needs or complaints; especially those whom I normally either ignored or disliked.

I am admitting something here. It is true, I reserved myself from others, and worst of all, judged them to be not worthy of my time. Why did I do that? I haven't really thought about it much, but I'd bet it had something to do with feeling as if I was competing with them for something. And maybe that something was Father's attention. Maybe not. But when you live believing that you did something to earn your redemption, I think subconsciously, you also believe that you have to keep earning that redemption; as if you have to prove it over and over.

Maybe that's' not it, either. Maybe it's not redemption we feel we have to earn, but approval, because God is our Father, and we so desperately want our father's approval. So we don't relax and believe we have it; instead, we act out our insecurity by trying to be good, and by trying to stay away from what we believe is bad. Maybe we figure if we do that, we'll always keep Daddy near, and evil far away.

But that doesn't work either, and we know it doesn't deep down, because we never relax in our Father's glory. We never just live out our lives accepting that God loves us. Oh, we might say we believe God loves us, but do we really believe it? "Hey, look, He sent His son to die for us. Now that's love!"

Maybe it is.

But maybe the kind of love we miss is the love God gives us which allows us to be ourselves, complete with all our "sins" and problems. I don't know too many people who claim to be Christians who aren't concerned that they currently do something that is "wrong", and might possibly hurt their relationship with God. What kind of freedom is that?

Love is not a prison, and it's also not a self-help diary. Love is the gasoline that fuels your car. It's the rocket fuel that sends us to the moon. Love is the energy, the fuel that propels us to freedom, and in that freedom, to the possibility of greatness.

Have you ever heard someone say, "I love her so much that I couldn't do without her?" That's not love, that's a possession, and what do we do with possessions? We lock them up so we don't lose them. But love sets us free, and instead of binding us to a set of do's and don't's, it allows us room to make mistakes, and achieve success.

It is said our transgressions were nailed to the cross. If we delve into that, we could also say the Law was nailed to the cross; and if that is so, then what set of rules could we ever keep that would show God we loved Him?

I think the best way to show our love for God is to race with the fuel of freedom He gave us, instead of trying to put a governor on the throttle. Finally being able to relax in this kind of life opens our ears, our minds, and then our hearts to people we ignored before. We are more now than we were before, and I think somehow, we recognize that there is no need to compete for Father's attention. Somehow, we know we have it, because we realize that we live in it, and in Him.

You don't have to go anywhere to find God. And He doesn't have to go anywhere to find you. Realizing that is to our salvation.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FORTY-NINE

Tip of the Day:


Never use "Wite-Out" if you are going for the living dead look. Lead-based paint works much better.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FORTY-EIGHT

Tip of the Day:

Working forty hours a week leaves you with 128 hours to slough off. Now how do you feel about Mondays?

VOTE FOR ME, NOT FOR CHANGE BUT FOR FREEDOM

Following on the heels of Osama bin Obama, excuse me, BarAq Obama, and Bill, I mean, Hillary Clinton, I have decided to form a Presidential Exploratory Committee.

Yes, yes, I know, Rudy Corleone, excuse me, I keep making mistakes, Giuliani, has also thrown his hat in, as has John McCain (Like the Vikings with the Super Bowl, will McCain ever win the big one?) There's quite a field in the running for the office of President already. I kept waiting for Al Gore to run again, and if he had decided before I did, I would have bowed out because who in their right mind could hope to beat Mr. Personality? In fact, if he still decides to run, it will be a two horse race, because every Republican and Democrat will bow out for the President who was elected but never sat in the big chair. It's rightfully his, isn't it?

I, however, am neither republican nor Democrat, and therefore I would have a duty to run against Gore at that point, no matter how hopeless it would all be. Global Warming being his platform, even I can't come up with something more important than that.

So here is where it all starts, huh?

Wouldn't it be absolutely freaky if my exploratory committee explored, and found that I could win? ;)

PS: My spellchecker knows how to spell Giuliani. How strange is that?

STORYTELLING

I have started a new project, and I have my daughter Ally to thank for it. I am writing a story based on the same story I wrote about when I was much younger, but never finished. I no longer have those notes or drafts, but it has been amazing to me how much of it I remember. Things like character development and plot development are coming naturally because much of what I am writing has been floating around my imagination for over twenty years.

It's nice to begin thinking seriously about developing this story, and then actually writing it. It gives my imagination an outlet which I consider to be healthy. If not this, then where I do go with the fantasies that range inside of my mind?

My daughter has been an avid reader for years (she's only fourteen), and one the main genres she enjoys are fantasy fiction, which just so happens to be what I wrote and tried to develop when I was younger. Seeing her enjoy these stories, and borrowing her books, reading them myself, and enjoying them has spurred me on to exercise the story I have held for so many years.

I am looking forward to many, many hours of work; developing more characters, drawing a map of the land the story takes place in, creating a time line of events, and writing those events into story form. I have already written some of the story, but it still amazes me that the work for a story such as this doesn't start at the beginning, but rather at the end, and you tend to work your way backwards to the beginning.

I guess it's true for me; I have to know where I am going before I can figure out how to get there, and how to start. I might keep you posted on how things go. We'll see.

For now, peace out to all my brothers and sisters, all you who live in this world.

TIP OF THE DAY NUMBER FORTY-SEVEN

Tip of the Day:


Don't be afraid to be someone else if you don't like yourself. Or...is it, "Don't be afraid to be yourself if you don't like someone else"? Now I'm confused!

Talk amongst yourselves.